Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Bird Park Pics

Here are the pics that I took yesterday with the girls at the Bird Park. I started out chasing them. I don't know any kid that doesn't like being chased.
Walking on the wall.

I wish they both would have looked at the camera at the same time, but it was not to be.
Those ducks are sure trained. As soon as they see humans on the bridge they swarm around. Those girls love the Quack Quacks.

I caught her!
I am having a better day. I decided to return the van. I can still drive it during the day. Someone anonymous commented that I know that SHE doesn't make me crazy. I allow it to upset me. It's true. I walked 4.5 miles and rode the bike to work. It was 90 degrees at 5 am with a dew point of 49%. WET! It felt good this morning to wave at everyone while riding my bike to work. With a smile on my face! I loved Roxie's 1st post today about loving her legs. I get more compliments on my legs now then ever before. I love how powerful they are. Like her, I am saying....WHO KNEW??
Keep the mood and the food.............




Tuesday, June 29, 2010

the best diversion

Thanks for the kind words yesterday. The woman is truly a nut. I had to go to her house to get checks signed yesterday and she acted like nothing had ever happened. Overly nice. Why, oh why do I let her mess with my head. I know she's a nut. It's not about me. It never is. If only I could remember that when I am feeling so hurt. Enough about her, let's talk about me.

I had the 2 Ggirls over for a GeGe sleep over. Had so much fun. We went swimming and had a healthy dinner of salmon and veggies. Then we watched a movie and hit the hay early. Up at 4:30 am. Their little heads popped up when I said we were going for a walk. Had a good brekkie and then hit the bird park. All that and the kids were home by 8am and was at work. Not too shabby! It was just the diversion I needed.

I have decided to take a 4 day weekend starting Thursday. Going to take a "me" day and get ready to head to Utah. The schools will be closed next week, but I will be on call. The construction guys will still need to get paid. So will everyone one else.

I am taking care of myself. (thanks Miz for the reminder ) Keeping up with walks. Eating much better and slugging down the H20. I also have lots of people to use as sounding boards. Misery really does love company.....lol.

Best get to work. I must remember not everyone has to like me...REALLY. Life will still go on. It always does. I have adorable pics of the girls from the park this morning. Will post them later. I forgot my cord.

Keep the mood and the food real...........

Monday, June 28, 2010

I can't please everyone, can I??

Ok, time to post something. Anything. I had a horrible weekend. My crazy boss lady ( not the boss that let me borrow the van ) made me feel like a piece of crap again Saturday. Nothing like going in on your day off and get lectured. I am really having a hard with her. Now she tells me she doesn't want to feel guilty cause she backed out of helping me. She asked that I not do nice things for her. REALLY?? If she wants something done she will pay me. She was very upset that her son ( my other boss ) insisted that I use the business van. Oh.My.Hell.

I am keeping the van. It's going to be 110 out there. Her and her son can fight it out. Anyway, I cannot figure out why she is treating me like this. It's like she "wants" me to ride my bike in 110. Like I must be made to suffer. Not sure why. Though I have a feeling she is not going to give me a "handout". She is convinced that I am the poster girl for the Left. Not sure why that is either. I am just not as Conservative as she is. She ALWAYS is talking Tea Party stuff. ALWAYS! I think she is upset that she can't "convert" me. It sounds crazy, but seriously, I can not think of another reason.

I am beginning to think that this job is not good for me. I know jobs are scarce. I make more then I am probably worth, cause I have been here a while. So I stick around. I put up and shut up. It was working, but now it is just stressing me out. I need to lay low, but have an exit plan. She also wanted to make it clear that she had the money to help me, but decided not to help. OK?? REALLY AGAIN?? See stressed out. Why would you treat some body like that. I have been nothing but sweet to her. Trying to be as helpful as possible. I can't control her, but I must figure out a way to deal with her. Cause she ain't gonna change. Either that or I need to find another job. Let the hunt begin.

So I showed her. I ate my way through the weekend. UGH! So stupid. I am up as high as I have been in a while. Time to get it under control. I walked 4.2 miles this morning and went good food shopping. Filled up all my H2o jugs and ready to drink up! I will not let my emotions run me. I am in control of ME!!

I had a very emotional week last week anyway. Feeling extra nervous and vulnerable. I am sure it is all hormone driven. That doesn't make it any less painful. This morning I feel better. So I am going to squeeze every last bit of better out of it!!

That's it for now. I am excited to check my mail for my bag I won from Leslie. Roxie's is adorable. I really need something to look forward to. Another good thing is I am taking a trip this weekend. Going to Small Town USA for the 4th. Looking forward to that too.

Keep the mood and the food real......

Thursday, June 24, 2010

My pants are getting snug......

Or why am I so Crabby today. UGH! I put on a pair of size 12 capris this morning and they were just a little bit snug. Mind you, they fit better today then ever before. Yet, they were alittle snug. As the morning wore on they became uncomfortable. So home I went. Put on another pair that last week fit great for the 1st time. Today they were alittle snug too. UGH! Then I went for a doc appointment this morning and I weighed 4 lbs more then last time. OK! This has got to stop. The snuggie capris have trigger TCB to really let me have it! "Oh you Fatty 2x4 couldn't get through the kitchen door". My dad used to sing that in alittle song. Not in a mean way. My sister can remember that one I'll bet. The pants have never fit really good. Why did I choose to wear them today. UGH! Wearing better fitting pants, and feeling less crabby.

I haven't done very well this week. I have eaten out too much. I am like a kid who suddenly has freedom. I don't have a kid to cook for, so I will just get take out. Nothing really bad. I gave up fast food stuff long ago. Just not REALLY good stuff. I haven't seen a green veggie in a few days. I keep forgetting to fill my H20 jug up. WTHell? Kind of feeling foggy and a little emotional. Eating more then I know I should. I know the weight will be off. Or well on it's way. that's how it's been for the past few months. I have maintained. Up alittle up alittle more. Reality. Eat better. Move more. Weight loss. Maintain. Cyles starts over. I really want to loose another 30 lbs. Yet, I am settling for the weight I am now.

I am starting to get some where in therapy. Feeling alittle tender right now. My son came and took his mom out to dinner and movie last night. I was really nice. It's been along time since we have done that. We saw Knight and Day. I liked it alot. Tom Criuse was looking very hot or I was feeling very lonely last night. Not sure which.

Gsons are coming over tonight. They want to make.....you guessed it. Mini Meatloafs. If it ain't broke don't fix it. I am taking them to Sprouts and see if we can find a green veggie. I bet we can. Then I am waking them up at the but crack of dawn and we are going to the bird park. It was 82 cool degrees this morning. It's a freaking hot 111 right now. We will go swimming when the sun starts going down. My boss decided to lend me a company van for the week. I had alot of running around to do for the school. I am so grateful for that!

So what am I going to do about the snugginess of my pants. Go back to basics. Don't/stop buying SHIT and eat healthier. Move more. I got my arthritis medication refilled this morning. I have had to take it easy on my hips. Haven't walked as far. On the days I have the "eye of the tiger" one of the buddies will be having an off day. Toe problems. Leg and feet problems. Damn, we are a achey old bunch of broads.

What I am not going to do is panic. My most favorite quote is "It's not time to worry yet, Scout". It's from my most favorite book. To Kill A Mockingbird. I am not going to freak. I know what to do. Just need to do it.

Pep talk over

Keep the mood and the food real...........

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Are You a Character?

This beautiful woman is my friend Ms. Paris. She is 87 years old. She attends Silver Sneakers (old people's fitness class) 4 times a week. She drives her own car. Still hits up Goodwill every half price Saturday and ALWAYS wears a different hat to church. EVERY WEEK. Last week it was a gold hat with a bow as big as her head. At the age of 50 she went back to school and got a PhD in Psychology. She then went to work on the Big Island of Hawaii and was the island's 1st school psychologist. She raised 6 children and has been married 5 times. Once to a man 30 years younger then her. She brought him back from Hawaii. I love to hear her stories ( she has lots ). They are mostly about the men in her life. She said that the younger women would ask her how she was getting all the younger men. She told them "I've been a girl a long time, pay attention, you might learn something". If she can go back to school at 50....what's stopping me?? She is a brave woman. She's a character. I love characters. I am one! I am not having a stellar eating start to my week. I have been extra hungry and munchie. UGH! This too shall pass. I really need to go food shopping. When I feel like this I almost don't want to have any food in the house. except just what I am going to eat that night. I am pushing the H20. My walks have been less then 3 miles for the past 2 days, i have an injured buddy, so she can't walk to far. My knee and hips could use alittle rest as well.

Going to a buffet at a pizza place for a friend's kids Bday party. I think I will eat before I go. The Gkids will be there too. I am extra tired the past few days as well. I am going to listen to my body. Sleep is always a good thing. Since I don't sleep in, my "sleeping in" is going to bed early. Really early! Cuts down on the night time eating too.

Keep the mood and the food real...........Do you consider yourself a character?? Why??

Monday, June 21, 2010

Retraining the Brain

Weekend was wonderful. Did not want to come back to work, but here I am. Went to see Toy Story on Saturday. Very cute. 3D was okay too. My stomach got upset, but I think that was due to the butter on the theatre popcorn. It SUCKED. So here's an NSV.....I gave the popcorn away. Who knew?? You really don't have to eat something just becuase you spent money on it. The litle girl sitting next to me thought she had won the lottery. So did her dad. At $9 bucks (before noon) a ticket it gets real expensive to take your family to the movie. Then I went out to babysit the Gkids while Mom and Dad had a nice relaxing dinner out. We made TJ's little meatloafs. The kids helped make them. Really fun and they love them.

Sunday was a long bike ride. Missing my dad yesterday. Then church. I am going to devote an enite post to the lady that I serve in the library with She is a 1st class character. 87 years old. Then Cassie and the kids came over and we went swimming and had the leftover mini meat loafs. They were a as big hit the 2nd time around. Then the kids started watching E.T. in the new Gkid room. Made the visit so much easier. Corralling kids is they only way to go when there are so many...lol.

Work will be busy again this week. I was reading archives and this time last year I was complaining about being busy then too. Hips are still bothering me alittle and we only walked a little over 2 miles this morning. We were all The Walking Dead this morning. IF one of us would have she wasn't going all 3 of us would have ended up staying home. See, there is safety in numbers. Eating was not stellar, but I had only a couple of real bingey/ snacky hours yesterday afternoon. So I started getting the Gkid room organized for the kids visit. Yep, retraining the brain. Slowly, but surely.

Have a great day. Keep the mood and the food real...........

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Meet the Fockers

Ok first things 1st. The Meet the Parents dinner went so well last night. My future DIL's parent's were very nice and we chatted and laughed and just had a great time. They just adore my son. It makes me so happy I cried on the home. I am a boob. Her mother sent me a message on FB telling me I am a lucky mom. I really, really am. I think she's a pretty lucky mom herself. Those 2 kids are so in love and it's adorable. The bride has lots of cute ideas. Her and my daughter were getting so excited about the wedding planning. I can tell my daughter really likes the bride. My daughter has a half sister that lives here in the valley, but she doesn't really have alot in common with her. This could be the sister she always wanted.

I was out the door by 5 am got in another 5 miles this morning. The last 1/2 mile I was begging them to just roll me home. I made it, but my butt and hips were killing. They feel much better now. I love my walking buddies and the early morning visits. The Happy Couple served eggplant last night and salad. There was also garlic bread and a small root beer float. I ate everything, in moderation. This morning we were talking about a friend of ours that is starving herself to the point that she almost passed out yesterday. CRAZY. I told myself when I started this thing 80 lbs ago that I wasn't going to do anything I didn't think I could do for a lifetime. So far, so good.

I am thinking I might do some food shopping. Then we are going to see Toy Story. Those movies are so cute. I am going to try it in 3D. Hope it doesn't make me want to hurl. I keep thinking it's going to make me sick to my stomach. Probably will go out to my daughter's for Father's Day tomorrow after church. Some swimming later this afternoon.

As you can tell the resentment has eased alot. Not all the way, of course, but now I am not thinking and talking about it 24/7. Feeling the freedom of that is awesome! I am going to get a week off from all bosses next week. Who knew! I could really use the break. Absence makes the hear grow fonder. Or something like that.

Keep the mood and the food real...........P.S. will try to get a picture of the dress today. don't give up on me!

Friday, June 18, 2010

hello weekend!


Good Friday morning. Hello weekend. My son his loaning me this car this weekend. Nice kid. We are going to the Meet The Parents dinner tonight. My daughter and Gkids came over and went swimming last night. Lots of fun. You can not stay in a bad mood for long with my youngest Gdaughter (pictured above) around. EVERYTHING excites her. We came home and had turkey BLTs for dinner. I t was a nice way to end the day. Then we watched the playoff game and my youngest Gson out of the blue yelled.....Lakers play like a girl. I found that hysterical. Anyway, they showed him who plays like a girl. It was a good game. Congrats to all you Laker Fans...(TJ)


I had a pretty emotional day yesterday. I am really milking this resentment. I try to leave it alone. When I "notice" that I am thinking crazy again I think of something else. It's ongoing. Plus other things are happening and well, it's kind of like dumping salt into my wound. Again, I am sure I am magnifying those feelings because I am feeling resentful. I asked for an extra blessing this morning to help with this crazy negative energy. I am having a hard time leaving alone. I will have to be vigilant in monitoring my thoughts. I have to be grateful for what I have. Not in material things, but in the things that really matter.


Rode the bike home yesterday. It wasn't too bad at 3pm. I will make it I am sure. Really, was there ever any doubt...haha. I don't have plans for tomorrow. Will need to get some. A long walk for sure. I have had to cut my walks short the past couple of days. My knee has been bothering me alittle and my buddy has been having foot and leg pain. Those 5 milers 2 days in a row must have been alittle too much. Anyway, I want to get a really good walk in tomorrow. Bike ride Sunday morning. It was a cool 80 degrees riding in this morning. It was nice.


I forgot to take a pic of the denim dress. UGH! I really wanted to get some input. Maybe tomorrow. Best get moving. I am taking my lunch early to watch the Gkids at Mcdonald's playground while my daughter goes to her Dr. appointment. At least my job allows me to do stuff like that. And as Martha Stewart would say " that's a good thing".


Keep the mood and the food real.......remember you magnify what you focus on.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Intentions

I basically just sent this in an email to a friend, but I decided to share it here as well.

I have been questioning my intentions and the part I played in getting all upset over this car thing. I know that most of my unhappiness comes when I have a resentment. Like this stupid car thing. The friend is my crazy boss lady. She OFFERED to help me. I have been doing extra kind things for her since she blew up at me awhile back....remember that?? I started out doing it because I truly believe that if you don't want to resent someone you should serve them. So this has been going on for awhile. I do enjoy it. Plus it drives her crazy because I won't let her pay me. Which I really don't want to be paid for doing her dishes, or running the vacuum real quick. I really thought I was doing it out of love. Then when she told me that she talked it over with her hubs and they decided not to do help me I was hurt. Which really means that I was pissed. Anger is a perceived injustice. I thought it was unfair. I really had to look at my intentions. Was I expecting a payoff this whole time? Probably I was. That was as big a kick in the pants as anything else. UGH! I set myself for another resentment. Feeling so much less resentful now. I always have a part to play...ALWAYS! I will continue to do those extra kind things for her. As much for me as for her.

That's really it for today. I am really grateful for the comments and support I got yesterday. Thank you everyone. I forgot the most important Agreement.....Don't take anything personally. It's never really about me.

I have a plain denim dress. I think I might post a pic of it and then see what good tips I get for accessories. Maybe tomorrow. Have a great Thursday. The weekend will be here before I know it. My son and his GF are hosting a Meet the Parents night tomorrow night at their apartment. My daughter and SIL will be there too. Looking forward to that.

Keep the mood and the food real........do you ever question your intentions?

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Good Things to Come

I got some disappointing news yesterday. My friend that said she would help me get a car now says she won't. I took the news well. This is what happens sometimes. My feelings were hurt more than anything. I thought they loved me and I felt like I was a member of their family. I guess I was wrong. Riding in the summer heat is nothing compared to having your heart broke. I have cried and cried over this. However, I have not eaten over this. I have decided to put a positive spin on it. I will survive. I will do something totally new to me. I will save money for a car. Go figure. It will be a good lesson. Now mine you, I will probably bitch and moan. And yes, you will probably be the ones that I bitch and moan to. Spoiler Alert for the next year. I just can't see paying the kind of interest I would have to pay.

As a gift, a Loving Heavenly Father prompted me to this video this morning. I will not quit! I will not give up! I know that there is help and happiness ahead! I know there are Good Things to Come.

Keep the mood and the food real......if you look you will see those good times.

Monday, June 14, 2010

See I told you.....

.....that was a busy little outfit. Thank you so much for all the tips. I love the bare leg idea, but it too short for a 50 year old woman. That's why I went with leggings. I have a black sweater and I am going to use that the next time I wear it. It might not be till November. It is really heating up out there.

I really want to find a car. I have my daughter looking around for me too. I am just not good at stuff like this. I have an appointment with a lawyer friend from church tomorrow. I should have done in the 1st place. Anyway, I have a friend that has so very graciously offered to come and hold my hand at the appointment and to file. Having some one there that doesn't have an emotional investment is a huge help. I have attached so much emotion to this stuff that I have wallowed long enough. It's getting down to push comes to shove.

My son with the car moved out and I don't want to put pressure on their new relationship. Poor kid is trying to figure out how to please 2 women. I don't want to be that MIL. He's moved about 30 mins away. He also has the summer off. So no more waiting for him to finish and pick me up. I know I should have planned ahead. I truly, truly suck at that. I put off the uncomfortable. blah blah blah. Same story, different day. Anyway. Need to get going on things or suffer a heat stroke riding home. I might be exaggerating alittle, but it is Phoenix.

So this will be a busy week. I doing ok with food. Had a busy weekend. Went to see the A-Team. It was everything you would expect, enough said. Went on a long bike ride yesterday before 6 am. Then this morning we knocked out 4.8 miles walking. HOLY CRAP!! I am really excited. My foot started hurting at the end, but it wasn't that hard. I think we are going to try for another 4.8 tomorrow morning! Then rode my bike about 4 miles to work. Will ride home and then jump in the pool. I decided to talk to my boos about starting earlier then leaving earlier till I get a car. That way I am not riding home in the heat of the day. I really need to push H20 today. I ate out both evenings for dinner. Didn't do terrible, but still. I feel good about my effort. That's what counts.

Have a Great Monday, again thanks for the fashion advice. I will do that again. It was fun. Keep the mood and food real.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Be honest, but not brutal

I am so stinkin bored. I have things I could be doing, but alas, I am feeling quite lazy. I walked this morning at 5 am, but one of my walking buddies didn't have a sitter for her kids, as her hubs is out of town. So we only walked 30 mins. Wished it would have been longer. Then I came home and went back to bed. Not really a good idea, now I feel tired. Like when you get too much sleep. Anyway. I don't have a car today so I am hanging out at home. I am going to do some organizing and I think that I might go swimming. Some how I have lost my suit bottoms. I am hoping that a friend might bring my bottoms and her kids and then I can go. I surely can't go without bottoms. I am saying bottoms too much............moving on.

I am doing good food wise today. Not really snacky. Keeping busy. It's not suppose to get up 100 today. I might ride the bike to the thrift store later and browse around. Have been watching hulu catching up on Glee. Love that show.

It seems kind of weird to be all alone. I am feeling a little nervous for some reason. I haven't had a do nothing day for a while. So I guess I better get doing something. I have been inspired by Shelly's Fashion Friday and thought I would post an outfit I wore a couple of weeks ago. I thought it was cute, but looking at the pic, it looks too busy. It is a Kick Ass Kohl's dress. Shelly and Miss Low Fat Dressing know what I'm talking about. $10 bucks for that dress! Say hello to a good buy!

What do you think. Please be honest, but not brutal. Brutally honest sucks.

Keep the mood and the food real..............






Thursday, June 10, 2010

The Happy Couple and Birds


Birds birds birds. While on our 4 miler this morning we saw a hummingbird. We've seen this same ( i think it's the same ) bird the past 4 mornings. Right in the same spot. Kind of cool. This morning after we saw the hummingbird, I was chatting away and a woodpecker pecked just at the right moment to give my words added emphasis. Like he was saying "here, here!" "I agree". It was funny. Then while on my way to work I had to wait for a peacock to cross the street. Kind of cool again.....either that or I need to get a life. Sometimes I think I am too boring. Oh well. I will take boring. I lived enough chaos.


Life for my little family keeps getting better and better. My son popped the question to his GF at Disneyland and so it's official.......facebook official. Everyone one at the school knew. It was cute. They posted a pic with their matching Mickey t-shirts. You know, I am not even a little sad anymore. I was at 1st, but she is a great girl. He is so happy. It was ok to be a little sad. Mostly sad about change. I don't do well with change. This is a good thing for both of them. And for me too. Forces me to shake things up. Life marches on......with or without you. I have to remember that.


Been eating better. The scale was down almost 7 lbs since last week. I have tried to stay away from the scales everyday. It worked. The numbers can mess with my head. I am feeling positive about how I am treating myself. That's what's most important.


My friend did got to detox after all. I talked to her yesterday and she sounded ok. I only had her girls for a couple of days. Then her hubs took them. He works 18 hours weekends. Asked her if she wanted to go to a meeting, she said no. So I went without her. I have dealt with enough addicts to know when to back off. I can't start thinking I have any power to get or keep them clean. Hell I am doing my best to keep me clean. Some days it's no easy job. The best I can do is be an example. I have been doing pretty good with my 90 in 90. Not perfect there either, but alot better. It's just like anything, it has to become a habit again. It will.


Still looking for a car. I have had my friend's daughter's car while she has been in Europe. I will give that back today. Something good will come along. I just know it. It's suppose to be 105 today. I will survive. I can do hard things. Besides, I have lots of people willing to help me out with rides till that car comes along.


Work is insanely busy lately so I best get to work. You would think summer would be slower for a school. You'd be wrong. Oh well. Makes the day go by fast and I don't have time to think about food. another reason the scale is down.
Keep the mood and the food real......march along with life!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Mortality Check!

Still alive. Scale going down. Feeling good. Very busy. Will write more later. Hope everyone is doing great!

Will catch up soon.........keep the mood and the food real.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Enough about me....

Let's talk about you. What do you think about me? That's pretty much how my mind set has been. Selfish. Self pity. Ungrateful. Not so anyone but me would know it, but I know it. I have had the opportunity to be around 2 other women who have major things going on right now. My friend that got busted is going into to detox. My daughter and I are taking her 2 kids. At least that's the plan. She was suppose to go in last night, she pushed it back. I am not surprised. She still think she has it going on. Been there, done that. I have another friend that is struggling in her marriage. She is married to man that I am sure has some thing like Aspergers. Being married is hard enough, but he is making it SO HARD! She has 6 kids too. She feels trapped and depressed. It was all I could do not to just burst into tears for both of them.

I was over come with a feeling of gratitude this morning. I have my struggles. Money, food, fear, change, TCB attacking me out of now where. After seeing and hearing about my friends' struggles I am am totally grateful for my own problems. They are small in comparison. My world is relatively calm compared to 6 kids, a crazy hubs and active addiction. But for the Grace of God.........

So I am happy. Feeling content. Feeling some peace. Feeling hopeful. Feeling like I can do hard things! Walked 4 miles this morning. The scale is down about 3.5 lbs. since Monday. Feeling less needy for food. No eating in bed. That was a goal this week. No plans for the weekend besides hanging out with my family. We are celebrating a Gdaughter's Bday this weekend as well.

Keep the mood and the food real.........appreciate your life. Serve others.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

better is a victory

Well it's 6 pm and I am not over full or asleep. It's a red letter day. I was down on the the scale this morning. I am still full from lunch so I am just going to eat light tonight, if at all. I have done much better with food over the past 2 days. Got a 4 miler in this morning. No bike. Drank H2o but could have done better. But like Miz said better is a victory.

I really thought about that all day. Not just in the weight loss sense but in all areas of my life. I have really been trying to practice simply doing the next right thing. I have to remember that it's usually a small thing. I had a good morning with the therapist. This was the 1st week I felt like it was worth it. So that's something.

My son is home tonight and sad. I don't know what happened, but it has something to do with the GF. He kind of talked to me about it. He really has it bad for this girl. We'll see what happens.

Hope everyone else had a good day...........keep the mood and the food real.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

here's the 411

Here's the 411. I am feeling better. I walked 3.7 miles this morning plus rode the bike to work. That is the one thing that I have not stopped doing, and that's my morning walk. At least 3 miles everyday. No excuses. Pardon me while I break my arm to pat my own back.

I am up on the scales again this morning. It's ok. This too shall pass. I am having a hard time. Everything everyone said yesterday made a lot of sense. I know that I am using food. Believe me, I know. I do have a lot going on. Sometimes I just feel like I should be Super Woman. That I shouldn't feel things so much. I feel things deeply. I think that's the reason I started using drugs. I must remember they are just feeling. They won't kill me. Yes, they are uncomfortable. Yes, I am allowed to bitch and moan if I want. Yes, it's just temporary.

Eating was better yesterday, but not perfect. I drank a lot of water and the bags under my eyes weren't so bad this morning. I brought watermelon and an apple to work.....no Jr Mints. This is my new treat. Frozen Jr. Mints. Get a grip Dana! Guess what? If you don't buy the crap it doesn't go into your mouth. So simple...right??

Robin Hood was good. I love Cate Blanchet. Love her! I plan on working and then going swimming this afternoon when I get home. Finally finished that stupid 4.5 hours online traffic school. UGH! Only cost me $200. Ugh again. Hope everyone has a good Tuesday...........

Keep the mood and the food real