Friday, January 30, 2009

More thoughts

I was reading pastaqueen's 1st blog. I can so relate. The reason I want to loose is for HEALTH. Right that is the #1 reason. My dad had a heart transplant and I am messing around with being obese. Am I insane. Yes, I am.

I also related with what she said about being insecure around others. I think that my 5 year old grandson won't kiss me good bye sometimes, is because I am fat and usually sweaty. That is a kind of usual thing for me. I sweat almost all the time. I am not sure if this because I am fat, or just trying not to have a heart attack. I am URBER self conscience about it. It is worst right after I shower, and always for church. Which really makes church enjoyable.

I also want to do this to be able to LIVE MORE FULLY. I also related to the staying in the house all the time. It's work, where I eat all day. Then maybe a few errands, if I am feeling spunky, hit the fast food joint....at 4 pm. To go home and over eat. By the time I've done that, I can't move. I am numb and sleepy from all the food....so I go to bed sometimes as early as 6:30 pm. This is slow suicide, just as much as using meth was.

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