Friday, February 26, 2010


Lots of reasons to smile today. For one thing, it's Friday. For another I got to go out and see my Gkids last night. My son was nice enough to let me use his car. Such a nice boy. We went to the park and I really ran around. The youngest kept thinking it was funny for me to chase her. She found that running towards the street was a real attention grabber. My daughter had a coupon to Taco Bell. So I took the kids to the drive thru. While I was sitting there waiting it dawned on me that I haven't been to a fast food place for a very long time. Now don't get me wrong, I eat out...alot. I just choose different types of foods now days. Also, no drive thru equals no eating in your care. I always had a car full of wrappers. Now, my car really is alot cleaner and it doesn't have the grease smell.

I ate 3 fresco tacos. I enjoyed them, but they weren't any better then the ones I make at home. In fact mine are better. I have never been a very good cook, but I have had to learn a few things in order to eat better and loose the weight. I never intentionally decided no more fast food. It just sort of happened. NICE! Little decision, over time, have a powerful influence in the way you live your life. I love it when I can look at myself and recognize evidence of good choices. Good for Me choices.

The Heart Walk is tomorrow. It's not suppose to rain till the afternoon, but what do they know, right. I will thinking of Shelly running her first 5K in chilly weather. I love her excitement, it makes me excited. If you want a good laugh this morning check out Roxie's post (Gravel and Rust). LMAO!

See lots of reason to smile! Keep the mood and the food real..........

Wednesday, February 24, 2010


Real weight is down .2 lbs I am surprised it's not up. I have been grazing alot. The car engine is ruined. I am going to be biking it for awhile. I have some majors decisions to make, yet I can't seem to focus or even care right now. Things will work out. They always do.

Love Roxie's post this morning. I've been thinking, reading and hearing about moving out of my own comfort zone. You would think that the Universe (or a loving Heavenly Father, as I choose to think of it) is trying to tell me something. Like I said, some major changes.

Daughter brought the kids in for dinner and the park. Had a ball. I have really missed them. There is nothing better then to watch a 2 year old ENJOY the swing! Total bliss......

My walking buddy signed us up for the Heart Walk this Saturday at Tempe Town Lake. Can't wait, even it's suppose to rain!

Keep the mood and the food real

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

get the message

I want to make this quick this morning. I have work to do today! I feel 10 times better this morning. Slept like a rock and dreamed I was married to George Clooney. It was a loveless marriage, but still. I got up and was out he door by 5 am for a brisk 2.5 mile walk with 3 lb weight in both hands. How the hell did I carry around that extra 80 lbs. Those things felt heavy. Rode the bike to work. It was cooler then I thought this morning. It felt good. Listened to a spiritual message that I was meant to hear while biking. I love it when something just touches your heart and makes you cry a good cry.

Feeling positive. My circumstance haven't changed from yesterday, but my attitude about them has. Thanks for all the great comments yesterday. I really am not alone!

Keep the mood and the food real....get the message

Monday, February 22, 2010

there's no guarentee

I just heard on the news it's National Margarita Day. Too bad I don't drink. I have had an up and down weekend. Why can't I just be happy. BTW....loosing 78 lbs doesn't guaranteed that you are going to be happy. Now mind you, I know this in my head....yet when this happens I have the nerve to be surprised. I don't think I am depressed, but I do have these "episodes" where I feel really sad. Usually after spending too much time alone with TCB (the crazy brain). It's almost like I can think myself unhappy.

I have been freaked out over money, again. The car is worse then they thought...blah blah blah. I won't bore with the details, but I feel like I have created this money prison for myself. I know that I am the problem. I refuse to do anything to increase my earning potential. Like going to school. It's at times like these that I kind of wish I had a husband. Don't ask me why, I would be just as miserable ( or just my luck more miserable ). Plus I'd have that added bonus of being responsible for someone else's happiness. Yes, sometimes I feel all

So because I have money problems I decided to buy myself some happy over the weekend. This is how I punish myself. It must be or why why why would I do it. I don't what's sadder that I constantly sabotage myself or that a trip to the thrift store, spending less them $12 can make or break my bank account.

I left church early yesterday due to a sudden sweating episode. By the time I got home the back of my shirt was drenched. Then tried to meet up with my daughter to see the Gkids and she kind of acted like she didn't want to. I have the work van, but I didn't want to take it out of town. So I haven't been able to get out to see them. I can understand. It's alot of extra work for her. Plus, the kids would just get upset when it was time to go, cause they always want to go with me. I was disappointed though. I just sat around with my wonderful thoughts the rest of the afternoon. Hence the discontentment. I think that is a good word for it.

I can be grateful that I bounce back verily fast. If I can just keep thinking that this feeling won't last I will get through this. Food wasn't bad. Didn't walk yesterday. That was probably part of my problem right there. I always feel better when I walk 1st thing. Started the day out right this morning with a 3 miler with my friend. Walking and talking is so good for me!

See I am feeling better already....keep the mood and the food real

Saturday, February 20, 2010

appreciate what you've got.....

This morning I was up early and started looking at fashion blogs and ebay. Ok...I am starting to have a problem. Not the time I spend looking. I am trying to learn how to dress. What I worry about about is that I keep looking at the blogs wishing I had stuff that I don't have. Couple that with the fact that I have been watching HGTV and I now I am wishing for a house that , in reality, I will never have. The past couple of days of days I have been living in "dis-ease". Not "at ease" with my life and not being grateful for what I have. When I do this I start in with the resentments. Then throw alittle self pity (where did my youth go) to the mix and well, I become unhappy. you vex me.

So how did I handle this feeling?? I went downstairs and organized and moved things around and got a new appreciation for what I have. It's amazing what just moving things around will do. I feel so much better. It's like a new space. This is huge as I usually hate change...any change. Want to mess me up, just change my cellphone ringer. Thought I would loose my mind and kill my kid!

Next thing is Thrift shopping. I want some new shirts, but I want them for free...hehe. Say hello to a good buy! A friend gave me 2 real nice skirts that I want a nice white button down shirt to go with. I love that I am stepping out of my comfort zone. Trying new things. Who the hell am I??!!

Ok now back to reality. What the hell is so bad about my life. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!! say it again....I couldn't resist. I have a job that I really love. Working for people that I mostly respect and that really do love me and appreciate what I do. Plus, they are going to help me with the car. Since I sometimes use it for work. I think this is their way of telling me how sorry they are about what happened a couple of weeks ago. I am grateful. I have enjoyed riding my bike to work and around. I forgot how much I love to wave at people as I go by.

Keep the mood and the food real......appreciate what you've got.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

dream big

Nothing new to report. I am having a ball looking at fashion blogs. Next thing I am going to try is thrift shopping. I have even been looking at shoes on Ebay (not during work hours, of course...that made me giggle). Trying to fine stuff that is fun, funky, yet age appropriate. I still can't believe it. Who have I become?? Someone that really does like clothes and yes shoes. I told myself I didn't care about that stuff for so long. I only didn't care because I weighed 265 lbs and seriously, how cute can you dress at that size. Now if only I had money to spend all this cute stuff. Oh well, a girl can dream!

Rode the bike to work this morning after a brisk 3 miler with my buddy. Last walk with her for awhile she is going in for a D&C this morning. Time to call someone else on my buddy list. If not, well maybe I can get my son to be my 5am bodyguard. Excuse me while I wipe my eyes from laughing so hard..hehe. Food has been better. So has H2O.

The pic is of my poor hand after my Gdaughter accidentally threw a bucket at me. She was trying to flip the bucket and watch the sand spill out. I some how ended up injured. Who said being a GeGe was safe work??

Keep the mood and the food real.............dream big

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

You can do it

Not a stellar week, but better then last week. Still, I gained 1.4 lbs. Oh scale, how you baffle me! Nothing but a number. My size 14 Levi's are getting very loose. It's just a moment in time. I didn't get the water in yesterday that I had hoped and I have been been eating too much processed food. I did however, get more exercise in this week. All in all I am ok with it. What else am I going to do. Get upset and shake my fist at the Scale God. No, not so much. I only have myself to blame. I don't feel like being pissed at me today. So onward to a new week!

While riding the bike home yesterday I took a little fall. No major injuries, except to my bruised ego. Still, my son drove me to work this morning. I will walk on the teadclimber later. My knee is letting me know that it thought that falling was a pretty dumb thing to do....can you say OUCH?! Not too bad, but I want to be able to stop if it starts bugging me.

I had book club last night. The book was Fahrenheit 451. Since my car broke down I wasn't able to finish listening to it. No worries though. Somehow everything was funny last night. Not that total mind control and book burning is funny, but you just had to be there. I had the belly laughs I DESERVED after a kind of crap couple of days. FELT GREAT! I love the women in my book club. We are all kind of nuts.

So note to self, Dana. Try that not eating when your not hungry thing. Seemed to work for you yesterday. DRINK your H20...DAMN IT. You know better. It is one of the things you did in the beginning that really got the scale moving.

Keep the mood and the food real..........easier said the done. You can do it! You know you can!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

enjoy the ride

I had a good day yesterday. Went for a 3 mile walk then rode the bike around town to do some errands and got in about 5 miles on the bike. It felt good. The weather is suppose to be in the 70's all week. I got my car towed and now it's just waiting around for someone to take a look at it. Got up this morning and like a fool got on the scales. Official WI is tomorrow. Up about 3 lbs. Yikes!! I best drank a buttload of H2O today. Get to pounding the water! I wasn't surprised by the gain, but I was my how much. I still have today to try to turn it around before the OFFCIAL WI. hehe

Got in another 2.5 miles walk this morning then rode the bike about 3 miles to work. I forgot how much fun it is to wave at people. I love the look on their faces. So that was fun. I had Jett pounding in my ear "Are you going to be my girl"! Yep, great ride in.

Now, I need to get the store and get some green stuff. And for heaven's sake, Dana...DO NOT EAT IF YOU ARE NOT HUNGRY. Sounds simple enough. If only it were that simple.

Keep the mood and the food real.....enjoy the ride

Monday, February 15, 2010


This is who I spent my Vday with. This is Al. His smile says it all. This is the stinker that kept getting out of bed. His wife needed a break from him so I spent the day visiting with him. He CAN TALK...alot. I know all about him. It was a good day actaully. I got to see true love. He and his wife have been married for almost 60 years. She is still over the moon in love with him. She is so worried about being left alone. She knows things are changing. She went in to take a nap, and all he wanted was to check on his "sweetheart". I can see where they drive each other crazy, but all that stuff is a non issue. They are a team. I am glad I decided to go.

I should be freaked out, but strangly I am not.

My car broke down again yesterday. I will be biking it for awhile. I haven't had anyone look at it yet, but it doesn't matter. I can't fix it right away anyway. I am so sick of car trouble. I am almost glad that I am being forced to do without it. I have my son's car if I need it, but getting out to see my Gkids is going to be tricky. Their mom is going to have to bring them more. It will work out. It always does. At least I have time to get it fixed before it hits 120 degrees. The weather is suppose to be BEAUtiful! So it could be worse, alot worse. Trying to keep a smile on my face and a song in my heart....just call me Pollyanna.

Yesterday I went and saw The Blindside. Totally loved it, it was just what I needed to see. An uplifting, feel good movie. Then I came home and watch the 20/20 that featured the real people. That was really worth a watch too. My sweet friend MADE me go out to the movies after the car took a dump and I am so glad she did.

I watched the 20/20 while I cleaned out my closet. Man, for not buying really anything, I had alot of clothes. I had a huge trash bag full. It felt to pass them on. I feel like this is a good sustainable size for me. I want to loose more, but I know realistically, this seems like a sustainable size/weight for me. If I can get to a size 12 that will be awesome, but I think I might just be a nice size 14. I have so far exceed my inital expectaions about loosing weight, that this is all icing on the cake. I was really just looking to move more. Get out of the the size 20's. I feel comfortable in my own I am going to relish it, it happens so seldom.

I am sitting home alone on Vday, watching HGTV. I must say I am feeling pretty good about this too. Not on a pity pot. Again, I just feel comfortable. It's a good feeling. I really didn't want to turn into a woman that got "man crazy' after loosing weight. When I was fat I couldn't get ANYONE to stop when my car broke down. Yesterday 3 men stopped and 2 pushed. In other one's defense, he was an old fart. That seemed like a pretty good NSV. It made me smile. I feel like if I wanted to have a realtionship I could. Not that I want to. But now, I don't feel like fat is the reason. It's my choice.

I went for a 4 mile walk yesterday and a 3 mile walk/run this morning. Really have drank alot of water, but I have been grazing. Popcorn at the movies, not alot, but still. I am not eating enough "real" food. I am, however, aware of this and plan on making adjustments.

I have been looking at a bunch of fashion blogs. I am loving putting together cute outfits. I forgot how to do that. I spent part of my life too busy with dope to care about what I looked like. Then I got clean and was too busy getting fat to care what I looked like. It has been great motivation for me. I am wearing makeup almost everyday. THIS IS HUGE! I haven't been able to wear makeup (without sweating it off in 5 mins) in years.

That's enough for me. I am trying to stay awake alittle later. I slept till 7am this morning. I KNOW! I was amazed myself.

P.S. I wrote this last night. I made all the way to 5 am. I was happy with that. I can't leave comments on anyone's blogs. Stupid computer. Had to come into the office to upload the pic this morning. Have a good Pres Day

Keep the mood and the food real.......

Friday, February 12, 2010

Yippee! A 3 day weekend

Went kind of crazy with the food yesterday. I ate an entire Chipotle chicken burrito for lunch. I told myself "go ahead, your going to boot camp". Except I feel asleep. GRRR. Anyway, back on track this morning. Had a really good homemade Egg McMuffin this morning...yummy. I am sleeping alot better. Later in the morning, which is awesome. I will enjoy it while it's happening. This too shall pass, I am sure.

Kicked out a really good 3 mile walk this morning. I love going with this friend because she walks really fast! It's a better bang for my 3 miles. Trying to drink more water, not doing really well with that. Doing better though.

Plan on going out to babysit the Gkids tonight. My SIL is taking my Darling Daughter out for Vday. I plan on taking the kids to the park then coming home and making dinner and Valentine cookies. Just the Pillsbury kind, but it counts...right?? I want to go on another hike tomorrow, but I will probably just end up going for an extra long walk around my neighborhood. That's ok. The weather is suppose to be sunny and around 70 this weekend. I will brag now, cause in about 3 months I will be complaining of the HEAT! Maybe a long bike ride after church on Sunday.

I have Monday off, so yippee, a 3 day weekend. The pic is of my Gson. That's kind of how I feel today. Like jumping for JOY!

Need to do some cleaning at my place, some organizing. Probably go through my closet. Get rid of a bunch of stuff. Maybe try to see a movie....The Blindside. I have still not seen it. Nice to know I have lots of options of fun things to do.

Keep the mood and the food real......enjoy being right where you are at!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

wonderful wed weigh in

And the Academy Award goes to Dana....for best performance in a difficult work situation. Yes, things have been better. Everyone just pretending like nothing happened. I am ok with that. Move on. I feel better. For awhile I knew something was coming. I felt it. Now that it's over I feel like I can relax alittle. I am feeling like my normal self again. It takes alot out of you to worry and be angry. When I think of the energy I have spent over this thing it makes me exhausted!

I felt it last night. The night before I did an overnight with the old guy. He was such a stinker. Trying to literally SNEAK out of bed. I dozed off, and he fell. Not going to do that again. He really needs more care then I am willing to give. (like someone that will stay awake) I can only do those kinds of shifts when I am able to doze. Anyway, I was exhausted, cause I had literally been up all night and then had to work all day. I was sleeping by 5:30 pm and slept till 3am. It felt so good! Got up and did a brisk 3 miles with a buddy and had a good breakfast. Packed with protein. I am raring to go!

I weighed in this morning and was happy when I saw a 2.6lb loss! That 78lbs overall. That's right, even with the grazing I did on Sunday I managed a loss. I knew I felt lighter! When I got off the scales I was so proud of myself. I was able to keep my commitment to myself, by not going food crazy when I things got so tough. I wasn't able to walk 2 times this week because of the extra shifts. That has never happened in the last 9 months. I didn't freak out about it, I did what I could, and told myself that it was enough. It was.

Sometimes I can't figure this weight loss thing out. Sometimes I gain for no reason, then after a not so stellar week of effort I lose 2.6. It reinforces to me that attitude is SO IMPORTANT! I was not my emotional best last month. Little weight loss. I tried really hard in Dec to go the extra mile to keep myself from the holiday blues....loss like 6 lbs that month. My eating might have been worse in Dec the Jan yet I lost. I am so glad that I decided not to be so strict with myself this time around. I know I am successful this time because I did it for the right reasons and just did what I KNEW I could do the long haul.

Thanks so much for all your support. Between my family and friends and follow bloggers I have all the support I need to be successful! The rest is up to me.

Keep the mood and the food real.........

Monday, February 8, 2010

hiking pictures

Here are some pics of my hike Saturday. It really was a glorious day! I wasn't even tried or sore. I want to try a harder, longer hike soon. We hiked to some Indian ruins with writing on the walls. Very interesting.

Things at work really have worked themselves out. I could not be happier, or more relieved. The person involved apologized this morning and of course I accepted. No use in holding a grudge. I still plan on looking around, but at least I know my job isn't in jeopardy. I m going to do my overnights with my elderly guy till Thursday. I can sleep alittle, so it shouldn't be too bad. I need the money, so it's good. I am feeling lighter in my heart, where it matters. lol.....

P.S. I reposted my entry from Friday.

Keep the mood and real.......

have alittle faith

At work. So far, so good. However it is only 7:30 am. Still plenty of time for the shit to hit the fan. Feeling better. Less upset by the whole thing. I have decided to just act like nothing happened. It's for the best.

I have to really believe that no matter what happens I will be okay! Working on having that kind of faith. Went for a long walk this morning with my good friend and got a blessing from her hubs. I felt alot better after that.

I stayed home instead of going to church or to my daughter's, thinking I would sleep. I did not get to sleep, just sat there and stewed and freaked out, and yes sadly I grazed most of the day. Not anything bad, just grazed. Didn't go for a walk yesterday, but I did go for a bike ride. Not long, but it was still better then nothing.

Hope everyone has a good Monday. Keep the mood and the food real.......have alittle faith!

Sunday, February 7, 2010

you guys are the best!

Just a quick thank you to everyone who commented. I appreciate all the good thoughts. Went hiking and had a marvelous day. It was about a 4 mile hike. We just took our time, visited and enjoyed the green desert. We have had alot of rain this year. In fact it's raining now. Then I went and visited some friends in the hosptial. I made my son watch about 4 episodes of the TV show Moderen Family with me. If you have never watched this show you should. It cracks me up.

Did my over night with the new old guy. He was very sweet, but very active during the night so I am exhausted but now I can't sleep. I want to eat myself in a food coma to just stop thinking and stressing about life. However.....that is not the answer. I don't have to be food perfect, but numbing my feelings like that will send me off into a food spiral. You know the one....shame, regret, frustration, and when I come out of "the coma" all those original feelings will still be there. Now, since I never learn anything easily, I most likely will start over doing the same thing expecting different results. I do not want to be the reason I am miserable.

So, note to self Dana, lace up those shoes and go for a walk in the rain. It will help. Stay away from the fridge. There is nothing in there anyway. Thank goodness you are out of food. Remember what your Dad used to say, things are rarely as bad as you think they are. Do not let The Crazy Brain win. This will work it's self out.

Thanks again for all your support. I really do have a good job. It's just this one issue. I can do this. I can do this. I can also accept my responsiblity in all of it as well. There is always 2 sides to every story. Plus, fear and furstration can manifest itself as anger. I can understand why it happened. It doesn't make it right, however. But I understand.

keep the mood and the food real..........check out my daughter's blog. try try try try again. see my blogroll. She posted some awesome pics of the Gkids in the snow. Also if you are my facebook friend check out the video of my Gson singing pants on the ground. It will make you smile!............peace out!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

flashback friday or a very rotten day

**spoiler alert** This a long, whinny post.

Yesterday was one of the worse days of my life. Ok, maybe an exaggeration, but it was BAD! Shit hit the fan at work and sprayed all over me. Like I knew it would. Leaving me a sobbing, shaking puddle of goo. Why don't I stick up for myself. I hated that I just sat there and took all that verbal abuse. I want to quit so bad. How can I have any self respect and go back there on Monday morning? That is not a rhetorical question, seriously folks, HOW?

This was really a flashback for me. I was a victim of domastic violence. I was beaten pretty bad by 1st husband, and not just once. The last time someone spoke to me like that, the asshole broke his arm on the back of my head. No, I am not exaggerating this time, I am that hard headed. Yesterday brought all of the shit back up and I was really terrorized. These are people I have know for along time. They have been like my family, and now I just want to flee. The anger being felt towards me was so over powering. I can't say what happened, of course. That's even more frustrating. I don't know if anyone in real life ( except my kids and my sisters, and my dear co-worker) knows about this blog, but I can't take a chance.

The good thing that came out of this is that I didn't have to binge over this. I was craving a sugar fix, so I went to McD's and got a small ice cream, came home and went to bed. They are not going to rob me of the sense of peace I have been working so hard for. I will not let that happen. I can choose to KNOW ( in both my head and my heart ) that this wasn't personal. It had nothing to do with me, really. This is a weird, almost sick, family thing, that really has nothing to do with me. They were like this way before I arrived on the scene.

This also makes me incredibly grateful of my OWN family. We are not perfect, by any stretch of the imagination, but we love and trust each other and I never have to worry about them vebally assaulting me. They give me encouragement and support. They call me out on my shit. THANK YOU FAMILY AND FRIENDS FOR YOUR HONESTY! That is so important for me to able to accept the consequences of my actions. To learn and grow and be a productive member of society. Not a leach to those I love. I am grateful for my parents. They always told me that I was a smart and capable person. They did the best they could with me. I was not an easy child. They were able to stand back and let me feel most of my consequences. I was an active drug addict for most of my adult life, so there were alot of hard consequeces. As a parent myself, I know how hard that can be. I am grateful for their courage. I miss them so incredibly bad right now. I was always able to turn to my dad for guidence. I have always thought he was the wisest man I ever knew. I know I made them both crazy.

Ok enough of that! I didn't make it too boot camp Thurday night. Will shoot for Tuesday. I am going for a day long hike today with a friend from church. It is just what I need. Plus, I got a referal and another old person job for this weekend. Overnights Saturday and Sunday. I really need the extra money, so it is a blessing.

I am going to let this go. I have to. I need the job and there just aren't any jobs out there where I would make the money I make now. I am barely making it as it is. I do however need a back up plan. I can't keep taking this abuse at work. It isn't fair to me to keep putting myself through this. So let the planning begin! I can still hold my head high when I go back Monday morning. I did nothing wrong. I did nothing to be ashamed of. I did the right thing. I did the honest thing. I can be proud of myself.

Keep the mood and the food real........don't sell yourself short.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

here's to progress~

Started off the morning with the usual 3 mile walk. I am going to pick me up some pepper spray this afternoon. Got a weird feeling this morning out walking in the dark, by myself. I kind of like walking a podcast blaring in my ears. This morning was new the new podcast from 2 Fit Chicks and a Microphone. I usually listen to something spiritual 1st. So I didn't get to finish the entire podcast. So something to look forward to tomorrow morning. I feel like I am listening to old friends. I feel like I know Shauna. It was after reading her book a year ago that I decided to start my own blog to document my journey. Best thing I've ever done! Too many benefits to name! Of course if your reading this, you probably already know that! Check out her book, The Amazing Adventures of Diet Girl.

Went out to my daughter's last night. Took the kids to the park and ran around with them. They were so sad when I left. It broke my heart. When did I turn into such a softy? Came home and fell right to sleep. Made it to 3 AM this morning. Better.

I really need to drink more H2O. Seriously. I used to drink almost a gallon a day. I am down to filling up my jug like once every 3 days. Not good. So that is going to be a goal! It's doable. Food has been ok. Not eating crazy, but kind of grazing. Sticking to my healthy lifestyle. I am happy.

Going to try a boot camp this evening with my sweet co-worker. I told her I didn't think I could keep up. So we'll See. My 1st fitness class EVER! Maybe I am having adult onset athletics.hehe I robbed Roxie. Sorry, Friend!

Work was good yesterday. I just need to trust that it's going to be ok. I have ran through all the "what if's" in my mind. Having a plan makes me feel better. Of course, relaxing and going with the flow would serve me better....oh well. Progress not perfection. Feel less anxious about it today. What ever works!

the pic is of me a couple of weeks ago. 1st time wearing that dress. The sweater looks alittle tight, oh's a Large. Not to bad, considering I started out a size 3X.

Keep the mood and the food's to PROGRESS!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

another Weigh in Wed

UGG! I am not sleeping again. Up at 2:30am this morning and yesterday morning. I can still function, but not at my best. No sleep = grazing and moody. I was suppose to go to a church thing last night, but I was so stinkin tired. I know I should have just went and forced myself to stay awake, but I just wasn't up to it. Yesterday morning I RAN again. Almost a mile. Only stopped a couple of times. My knee did fine. It felt good. I still can't believe that I am still walking. Yes, I am I want to do more, different stuff. My friend is doing a boot camp thing twice a week. I might try it Thursday. I need to step out of box anad try yoga. Still haven't done that yet.....I KNOW!

I have been anxious about my job lately. I am probably blowing things up in my mind (who me??)but there have been some clash of personalities. Even though I work by myself and work hard, I still kind of freak out about loosing my job. Since it's about money it involves me. It's a family business. Enough said. When I feel like this I find myself trying to please even more. GRRRR. That makes me crazy. I make me crazy is more like it.

All in all I feel good. I have a friend at work that is in ICU basically because her diabetes is out of control. Abesses, renal failure, surgery. Scarey! My son is closer to her family then I am, it's hit him kind of hard. He's been at the hospital quite a bit. Actually lots of people from work have been there. Most of us have been there for years, so we are like family.

Weigh in Wed shows me up .2 lbs. Not surprised. Happy to be the same. I have not eaten bad stuff, just lots of stuff. I found myself last night wanting something naughty. ANYTHING.....just nothing sounded good. No that's not right. Nothing sounded worth it. So I ate my chili and went to bed.

Looking forward to the day today. Going to go out to my daughter's after work to help with the kids. She has said she is having a hard time making it out of her PJs. Being a stay at home mom is the HARDEST job on earth. I take just the boys over night and I am wiped out!

Well that's it for today I guess. Goiing to lace up my walking shoes and get out the door.

Keep the mood and the food real.......take care of you!

Monday, February 1, 2010

enjoy the good times

Hope everyone's Monday is off to a good start. Just going to share a few pics from my weekend. Food was ok. I did over do it Saturday evening. Home alone=eating. Oh well. It wasn't terrible. Today is a new day. As you can see by the top pic it was a beautiful weekend. We had a great time at the park then hit the library then took them home and got the girls and took everyone to the park. I was still home by 2pm. That's when I decided to stay in and watch the season about Mad About You I got from the library. That's when the eating started. Thank goodness I fell asleep early.

Got up and hit an AA meeting I used to go to. People had no idea who I was. Made me laugh...and my head did swell a wee bit. Got to watch out for that. Then church. Then out to my Darling Daughter's house. We took the kids for a drive and we looked at houses. She loves to look at homes. We found an empty one with had a mother-in-law quarters. It was a beautiful home. We can dream, can't we?

Got in a good walk yesterday and got out early this AM with a buddy. I have not been as focused on what I am putting in mouth. I doubt that I will see a loss this week. I haven't gotten the scales out of car since last Wed. I don't know if I should be worried because I am not worried about this. DO NOT LAUGH!hehe

I really have about 50 lbs to go to be in my ideal weight. I really could care less about that. I feel great! I think I look so much better. I do want to loose another 30lbs. I want to loose maybe 7 lbs before I wear the capris that were given to me. It's kind of like I HAVE to. I have no other pants. That is motivation! They zip up easily, I just feel they are too tight. This is my new short term goal.

The 2nd pic is Gkid that insisted I call him Master Chef....seriously, he said this. He was helping me make french toast. I really did have a nice weekend. Well better sign off and get to work!

Keep the mood and the food real............enjoy the good times.