comfortable

This is who I spent my Vday with. This is Al. His smile says it all. This is the stinker that kept getting out of bed. His wife needed a break from him so I spent the day visiting with him. He CAN TALK...alot. I know all about him. It was a good day actaully. I got to see true love. He and his wife have been married for almost 60 years. She is still over the moon in love with him. She is so worried about being left alone. She knows things are changing. She went in to take a nap, and all he wanted was to check on his "sweetheart". I can see where they drive each other crazy, but all that stuff is a non issue. They are a team. I am glad I decided to go.

I should be freaked out, but strangly I am not.

My car broke down again yesterday. I will be biking it for awhile. I haven't had anyone look at it yet, but it doesn't matter. I can't fix it right away anyway. I am so sick of car trouble. I am almost glad that I am being forced to do without it. I have my son's car if I need it, but getting out to see my Gkids is going to be tricky. Their mom is going to have to bring them more. It will work out. It always does. At least I have time to get it fixed before it hits 120 degrees. The weather is suppose to be BEAUtiful! So it could be worse, alot worse. Trying to keep a smile on my face and a song in my heart....just call me Pollyanna.

Yesterday I went and saw The Blindside. Totally loved it, it was just what I needed to see. An uplifting, feel good movie. Then I came home and watch the 20/20 that featured the real people. That was really worth a watch too. My sweet friend MADE me go out to the movies after the car took a dump and I am so glad she did.

I watched the 20/20 while I cleaned out my closet. Man, for not buying really anything, I had alot of clothes. I had a huge trash bag full. It felt to pass them on. I feel like this is a good sustainable size for me. I want to loose more, but I know realistically, this seems like a sustainable size/weight for me. If I can get to a size 12 that will be awesome, but I think I might just be a nice size 14. I have so far exceed my inital expectaions about loosing weight, that this is all icing on the cake. I was really just looking to move more. Get out of the the size 20's. I feel comfortable in my own skin....today anyway....lol. I am going to relish it, it happens so seldom.

I am sitting home alone on Vday, watching HGTV. I must say I am feeling pretty good about this too. Not on a pity pot. Again, I just feel comfortable. It's a good feeling. I really didn't want to turn into a woman that got "man crazy' after loosing weight. When I was fat I couldn't get ANYONE to stop when my car broke down. Yesterday 3 men stopped and 2 pushed. In other one's defense, he was an old fart. That seemed like a pretty good NSV. It made me smile. I feel like if I wanted to have a realtionship I could. Not that I want to. But now, I don't feel like fat is the reason. It's my choice.

I went for a 4 mile walk yesterday and a 3 mile walk/run this morning. Really have drank alot of water, but I have been grazing. Popcorn at the movies, not alot, but still. I am not eating enough "real" food. I am, however, aware of this and plan on making adjustments.

I have been looking at a bunch of fashion blogs. I am loving putting together cute outfits. I forgot how to do that. I spent part of my life too busy with dope to care about what I looked like. Then I got clean and was too busy getting fat to care what I looked like. It has been great motivation for me. I am wearing makeup almost everyday. THIS IS HUGE! I haven't been able to wear makeup (without sweating it off in 5 mins) in years.

That's enough for me. I am trying to stay awake alittle later. I slept till 7am this morning. I KNOW! I was amazed myself.

P.S. I wrote this last night. I made all the way to 5 am. I was happy with that. I can't leave comments on anyone's blogs. Stupid computer. Had to come into the office to upload the pic this morning. Have a good Pres Day

Keep the mood and the food real.......