Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Puffy

I woke up this morning and my right eye is huge. I can see were I have a sty. So I came to work looking like someone beat the hell out of. Luckily I work alone. I did good yesterday. In the evening I started thinking, I don't want to start WW today....WHAT????....where the hell did that come from. MY BEAUTIFUL FREAKIN MIND. Well after I had alittle talk with myself, I decided to just total up what I had today, just to see. Well I was within my points for the day. So, I guess I started yesterday. Now that I have one good eating day, the next one won't be so bad, and so on, and so on, and so on. Till of course the guaranteed binge. I am beginning to see, after reading your blogs, that I have been looking on them in the wrong way. I am a recovering drug addict, if I fall off the wagon I relapse. I am looking at the binge as a relapse......giving it all the shame and guilt I would feel after a drug relapse. They are not the same thing! I need to cut myself some slack in the future. I have to have food to survive.....that's why I think food is THE MOTHER of all addictions. Total abstinence is much easier then trying to control it. Control is an illusion. Just ask a drug addict.

Anyway......I go for my MRI today. Lunch with my sweet little old lady friend and then stop by to do my visiting teaching. I haven't had breakfast yet. The new meds the doc gave me for my knee made me sick this morning.....I will be glad when my body stops hurting. I am going to still try to walk today also. It feels so good when I do it.....Better get some work done......

5 comments:

  1. How funny. My left eye is swollen with a stye. Woke up with it this morning. Together we've got pretty eyes today.

    Good luck with the MRI.

    Oh and you do know a fire spinner. ME! I take classes every weds night.

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  2. eye problems are so annoying!!

    Yes, the all or nothing mentality will drive you crazy. It's a journey :) and if it were that easy we'd all be thin :)

    You are doing great!!!! I wish I was having lunch with a friend :) I had lunch with 7 kids in the backyard.........that was fun too :) but sometimes I totally crave the adult company :)

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  3. I haven't had a stye in years, but I remember just how much they SUCK. Sorry you've got one.

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  4. Sorry you have a stye hope it goes away quickly. The stye stuff over the counter really works so maybe give that a try. Good luck with your MRI. I sooo agree that food addiction is a whole other beast. hang in there.

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  5. I'm so sorry to hear about your stye. I think i had one when i was little. I agree one of the hardest mind sets to get past is the 'all or nothing' way of thinking. The key is to shake it off and get back on the wagon. Forgive yourself. Its part of the journey. Planning ahead helps. Take baby steps to fix where you went wrong. And always, always put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. Don't get stuck in the past. Fingers crossed for your MRI Jinx

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