Friday, February 6, 2009

where did the week go

Had another great day yesterday. I stuck right to all my goals. Plus I walked mile and half with Angelene. I bitched the entire way, but I did it. My knee is hurting this morning. It feels like the cyst is just stretching the skin on the back of my knee. I am not going to use this as an excuse for any pain pills. I can make up aches and pains, and I do have alot, to justify it. Not today, baby. Tracy and I went to see Defiance last night. It was pretty good, kind of long. I loved a story where the Jews fight back. Plus Daniel Craig...hubba hubba. I am still in th midst of motivation mojo.......Feeling good about my life right now. I found taco salad....yum, I ate is twice yesterday.

I fixed myself a nice omlette this morning. As I was cooking I thought how this isn't about food. This time I am doing things that are loving for me. Like showering, dressing everyday. That one thing right there has been the biggest and best thing I have done for myself. I was doing my dishes this morning, just grateful for the willingness to do them. Grateful that I seem to be able delay eating till something can be cooked. I am so fixated on feeling good fast that I could not be made to wait for something to cook. Grateful that a loving Heavenly Father knows me and knows what's best for me. I am so glad not be working at Delite's house anymore. Holy crap! I am just now seeing how toxic that was getting for me. I never dresssed cause I had to clean her house everyday.......pissed that I continued to scrub her toilet due to my stupidity. Pissed cause I have made some pretty stupid money decisions over the past year and a half, so that I feel I have to be a slave to something that I hate. Yet, I waited until she got rid of me. Oh well, it has worked out for the best. I was over there yesterday and I all that negative, resentful crap was gone. I loved her like the friend I knew again. So long story short ( too late ) I shouldn't be so freaked out by change.

1 comment:

  1. sounds like you are feeling really grateful---good for you !!!

    I can relate with being able to cook now without eating. I used to consume about the same amount of calories cooking as I did eating the meal! Chewing gum seems to help me.


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