Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Feeling beter

Feeling better. I always do, I wish I could remember that when I am in the mist of my saddness, or what ever it is.

Ate better, walked a total of 6 miles the last 2 days and I am so glad I did. It makes all the difference. Thanks so much for all your encouraging comments.

I am so tired, it really took all my energy to walk and go to work. It's better then putting myself in a food coma and sleeping all day. I am hoping that the hormones help. I am sure that was the reason for the weekend melt down. Part of it anyway.

Going to focus on H2O tomorrow. I went food shopping and bought good food. I have been eating too much take out. I really hate to cook, but if I did it more I would get better at it.

My friend gave me some swim suits. 5 to be exact. She is about 30 lbs ahead of me in weight loss so when she goes down a size I get her stuff. It was Christmas in May!

I am not going to give up. This is what I do. I get down about 30 lbs then I stop. I give up. I sabatoge myself. I regain all the weight and all the shame. People know that your life is out of control just by looking at you. For some reason I guess I don't really think I am worth this work. In my head I know I am, but some days I just don't FEEL it.

Today I felt it. When I can stay in the moment I can FEEL JOY.

feel joy

12 comments:

  1. feeling joy is wonderful. I have my days that I can't feel it either. It's there...but sometimes it hides LOL. Thankful for the days we feel it. ;)

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  2. What a great insight! We all need to be able to remind ourselves when we are feeling very low that it is only temporary. It will get better. It will!

    You lucky woman, you. Getting swimsuits without having to go shopping for them! Now that's a reason to feel joy.

    Have a wonderful day!

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  3. such great thoughts and, IMO, mantra.
    it just jumped out at the the: IM NOT GIVING UP THIS IS WHAT I DO.

    that would become my chant :)
    the backdrop to all I did all day long.
    ride that thought to more success.

    MizFit

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  4. Love your attitude toward not giving up. Wish I could keep that in mind when I get down. Will try next time.

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  5. Never, ever give up. Life likes to throw things at us, change our moods, play games on us. We need to laugh right back in its face.

    Feel the joy.

    (((hugs)))

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  6. I do the exact same thing as you - get to a certain point (but nowhere near close to my goal) and start sabotaging myself. And I just hate when I do that!! I'll take a page from your book and remind myself that I am worth it. We all are. Good for you for pushing through.

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  7. I am so good at losing that first 30 pounds...then I am even better at gaining 45!

    I am really really focused on getting out of that cycle even if it takes so much longer to lose the weight!

    JOY

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  8. I'm so glad you are feeling good again...hmmm - happy, joyous and free? Sounds like a good thing to me!

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  9. I'm new to your blog but not our group of health quest bloggers.

    I stuggled for years with self-sabatage. I think I have finally conquered it. How? By getting to the root of what I gained it, why I choose to keep on the layer of protection. So much is mental stuff. It takes a lot of digging and then a lot of working through the issues. It can be done. Then for me I have tried to focus on health and not just the scale which is just a device to measure your progress.

    NEVER GIVE UP!!You can do this!

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  10. Just keep moving in the right direction. All you can do is stand on your feet and take a step.
    I've been reading your entries. I like your writing. Nice work! Keep it up.

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  11. I can't believe it has taken me this long to get over to your blog. I see all of the encouragement and funny comments you leave for people, and think what a lovely person you must be! You are so worth the work, and I am glad you are feeling better.

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  12. just checking back on you.
    still feeling better? perked?
    weekend plans for YOU?

    Miz.

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