Feeling beter

Feeling better. I always do, I wish I could remember that when I am in the mist of my saddness, or what ever it is.

Ate better, walked a total of 6 miles the last 2 days and I am so glad I did. It makes all the difference. Thanks so much for all your encouraging comments.

I am so tired, it really took all my energy to walk and go to work. It's better then putting myself in a food coma and sleeping all day. I am hoping that the hormones help. I am sure that was the reason for the weekend melt down. Part of it anyway.

Going to focus on H2O tomorrow. I went food shopping and bought good food. I have been eating too much take out. I really hate to cook, but if I did it more I would get better at it.

My friend gave me some swim suits. 5 to be exact. She is about 30 lbs ahead of me in weight loss so when she goes down a size I get her stuff. It was Christmas in May!

I am not going to give up. This is what I do. I get down about 30 lbs then I stop. I give up. I sabatoge myself. I regain all the weight and all the shame. People know that your life is out of control just by looking at you. For some reason I guess I don't really think I am worth this work. In my head I know I am, but some days I just don't FEEL it.

Today I felt it. When I can stay in the moment I can FEEL JOY.

feel joy

Comments

  1. that TOPS ladyMay 27, 2009 at 9:33 PM

    feeling joy is wonderful. I have my days that I can't feel it either. It's there...but sometimes it hides LOL. Thankful for the days we feel it. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. RoxieMay 28, 2009 at 3:07 AM

    What a great insight! We all need to be able to remind ourselves when we are feeling very low that it is only temporary. It will get better. It will!

    You lucky woman, you. Getting swimsuits without having to go shopping for them! Now that's a reason to feel joy.

    Have a wonderful day!

    ReplyDelete
  3. carlaMay 28, 2009 at 3:37 AM

    such great thoughts and, IMO, mantra.
    it just jumped out at the the: IM NOT GIVING UP THIS IS WHAT I DO.

    that would become my chant :)
    the backdrop to all I did all day long.
    ride that thought to more success.

    MizFit

    ReplyDelete
  4. DeborahMay 28, 2009 at 4:49 AM

    Love your attitude toward not giving up. Wish I could keep that in mind when I get down. Will try next time.

    ReplyDelete
  5. joMay 28, 2009 at 6:21 AM

    Never, ever give up. Life likes to throw things at us, change our moods, play games on us. We need to laugh right back in its face.

    Feel the joy.

    (((hugs)))

    ReplyDelete
  6. GigiMay 28, 2009 at 6:50 AM

    I do the exact same thing as you - get to a certain point (but nowhere near close to my goal) and start sabotaging myself. And I just hate when I do that!! I'll take a page from your book and remind myself that I am worth it. We all are. Good for you for pushing through.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hotch PotcheryMay 28, 2009 at 7:00 AM

    I am so good at losing that first 30 pounds...then I am even better at gaining 45!

    I am really really focused on getting out of that cycle even if it takes so much longer to lose the weight!

    JOY

    ReplyDelete
  8. ShelleyMay 28, 2009 at 8:05 AM

    I'm so glad you are feeling good again...hmmm - happy, joyous and free? Sounds like a good thing to me!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Mary BethMay 28, 2009 at 9:02 AM

    I'm new to your blog but not our group of health quest bloggers.

    I stuggled for years with self-sabatage. I think I have finally conquered it. How? By getting to the root of what I gained it, why I choose to keep on the layer of protection. So much is mental stuff. It takes a lot of digging and then a lot of working through the issues. It can be done. Then for me I have tried to focus on health and not just the scale which is just a device to measure your progress.

    NEVER GIVE UP!!You can do this!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Heather WaghelsteinMay 28, 2009 at 11:26 AM

    Just keep moving in the right direction. All you can do is stand on your feet and take a step.
    I've been reading your entries. I like your writing. Nice work! Keep it up.

    ReplyDelete
  11. PattyMay 28, 2009 at 7:20 PM

    I can't believe it has taken me this long to get over to your blog. I see all of the encouragement and funny comments you leave for people, and think what a lovely person you must be! You are so worth the work, and I am glad you are feeling better.

    ReplyDelete
  12. carlaMay 29, 2009 at 3:22 AM

    just checking back on you.
    still feeling better? perked?
    weekend plans for YOU?

    Miz.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Tell me what you think!

Popular posts from this blog

I MADE IT TO ONEDERLAND

Oh Happy day! I weighed in on the "official scale" and it said.....drum roll please........196.5 lbs!!!!! That's down 7.5 lbs since last Tuesday. I was so shocked I jumped off. Like I couldn't believe it! I can't believe it. I am so happy!
Read more

Contentment at last

Oh my goodness!!  I can't beleive how long it's been since I haave posted here.  So maybe things have changed.  The month I moved in with my son and daughter in law, a friend from high school asked if I wanted to be a "Granny Nanny" for her 86 year old mother.  It would mean moving back to my home town and living with the woman.  I didn't hesitate.  I had a good feeling about it from the start, so I went for it.  So, as of the first of October I have been residing in a cozy little home in Orem, UT.  The woman is just a sweetheart.  So easy to please and I feel so comfortable.  The pay is great too.  I like living with someone and it has just been a win/win.  I love my surroundings.  I love the mountains, the memories, being around my extended family.  My sister lives here, as does my aunt, a ton of cousins on both sides of the family.  Of course the downside is I am away from my kids and my grandkids.  I m...
Read more

A Traditionally Built Woman

I am listening to the latest No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency books. Blue Shoes and Happiness. They are sweet simple stories about a woman in Botswana Africa. She is a "traditionally built" woman. This means of course that she is heavy. I have never seen the show on HBO, but I love the books. In this book she decides to go on a diet. All her litle "insights" about going on a diet are cute....and so true. My favorite is how it's human nature that when you decide to restict ANYTHING you always end up wanting more of it. How she thought that was funny, until she herself was on a diet, now not so funny. How she gets crabby when she's hungry. I could so relate and it made me smile. People, we are more alike then we are different. The book is written by a white man, which I think is great. See, more alike then we are different. I have my grandkids birthday party today. My daughter, "C," is doing 2 kids in one party. They are still young enough that they don...
Read more