Monday, May 4, 2009

people pleaser

I am a people pleaser. I want people I like to like me. Some people I could care less if they like me....but by and large......Yes, I want to liked. I feel I have the power to make someone happy. Now, that being said, I do not like this about myself. I DO NOT have the power to make others happy, ok maybe for a moment, but not for long. I have stressed out because of this war in my mind. When I feel stressed out, I want to eat. When I binge, I am not happy. So what's a girl to do? WALK that's what. I have walked about 6 miles over the past couple of days. This may not be alot for some, but for me it is. I have started to walk when I am feeling stressed. Like food, it makes me feel better...but with positive feelings after.

I had to let someone down this morning. I was brave and did it in an email, coward that I am. I have stressed out about this over the weekend. It shouldn't be hard to tell someone that you really don't want to do something. The "they won't like me" feelings have been in overdrive and it sucked big time. Since I sent the email, I have felt better. I should have done this along time ago. The war in my mind has almost shut off. Those voices that say, well so what if it doesn't feel right...do it anyway, don't make waves. I feel that I have done something kind for myself. I am not going to spend time on something that is just not right for me, though they think I am missing the boat. I have wasted so much of my life in WORRY MODE. I want to be in faith mode. Faith in myself, in my decisions, and in a loving Heavenly Father that only wants what is best for me. I feel good about me this morning. I CAN DO HARD THINGS.

I had a nice day yesterday and went to bed early to keep from stress eating. I think that is another good thing I am doing for weight loss. No late eating. Getting lots of sleep. Weigh in at WW tonight. Don't know what will happen. I feel pretty good about my choices this week, and I don't want to give the scale too much power.

I am still struggling with the zoloft thing. I have come off too quick, and I am calling my doctor today. Now I am sick to my stomach too. With lots of dizziness. I almost fell while walking this morning. My son drove me to work. I have the auditors here today and I really don't need to feel like crap physically. I feel weepy and anxious also. Yippy!! I almost have to laugh at myself to keep from crying. No more of that stuff. It makes me feel so much worse. I have only been on it for about 6 months, and it is not owrth this feeling.

I am going to have a good day. Things are going to go well today at work. The scale will be my friend...and I will call my aunt later today and explain my email.

BE BRAVE.

6 comments:

  1. I totally LOVED this post! Yes, yes, yes....I believe I agree with everything you said. Stand up for you. You deserve it.

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  2. (((hugs)))

    I am a people pleaser with some and not others, too.

    I'm glad you're calling your doctor today. I have learned I will never try Zoloft from reading your blog!

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  3. I want people to like me also. But you know what I have found? People like the MaryFran that stands up for herself a whole lot better than the MaryFran that will just go with the flow so as to not rock the boat and upset anyone!

    Good luck at your weigh in tonight!

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  4. I am here!! Thanks for missing me and I'll for sure befriend you on FB!!LOL:)

    I have taken care of many of a worry through e-mail. Don't feel bad!!

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  5. yes, you have to know when to say no. It's okay.

    Hope the scale is your friend today and that things get back on track with your med change very soon :)

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  6. I clicked on your blog because I just thought your name was hilarious! I like that you have a sense of humor.

    I too am a people pleaser. My mother was here over the weekend, I should have put on about 5 lbs just from her freakin' me out! Thank God I got the Wii Fit recently and it's still a novelty and fun so I palyed it a lot.

    I can't believe you've wakled 6 miles lately. That's amazing! 6 miles seems like a lot to me! I only do about a mile at a time, two at the most. I started walking to destress a few years ago, and lost about 40lbs. I've gained some of it back, but I'm still trying. Anyhow, good for you going for a walk when you're stressed. That takes a lot of control!

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