Tuesday, June 2, 2009

the itty bitty sh*tty commitee

I was pleasantly surprised to be down another 2 lbs this week. Bringing my total to 34.6 lbs lost since the 1st of March. I was so sure I would have gained. I freak out if I haven't stayed on points perfect. For right now I am sticking with eating good for me foods, with sensilbe portions. The walking EVERY morning for 50 minutes ( 3 miles ) is really paying off. In more ways then just weight loss. This is now something I really enjoy and I feel better mentally and I get a better start on my day. I was also noticing that I hit my 10% about 3 weeks ago. I hadn't even noticed. I will mention it to my leader next week.

For some odd reason I feel like this is too easy for me this time. The people that I go to WW with are not loosing, I almost feel bad to tell them I lost again. I KNOW in my MIND this is not the case. I have worked hard and for most of the I have done my best, but when you eat what I ate over the last 2 weeks and still loose, well that's a head scratcher.

I think when I binged that weekend I just felt so out of control. That's the part I hate.....the I can't stop eating I am out of control feeling. Doing Fat Girl things. Going back to using food to medicate my feelings. It wasn't nearly as bad or as long as some of my other binges in the past. Baby steps...a little here and a little there. I can't be so hard on myself when that happens. I need to forgive myself and move on. Otherwise I am going to shame myself into being a quitter. NOT THIS TIME BABY!

That's another thing that I do. I refuse to forgive myself. That is poison! I need to put the bat down and step away from the bat. I need to quit beating myself up. I am so hard on myself. I will try to be better at treating myself as I would a dear friend. Easier said then done. 1st I need to get rid of that "Itty Bitty Shitty Commitee" in my head. You know the one I'm talking about. My self talk needs to kinder and gentler.

Anybody else have that little commitee in their head?

11 comments:

  1. Wow another 2lbs - that is fabulous! Just goes to show that the exercise pays off. 3 miles every day is a lot and as you have found, so good for us in many ways.

    I do have the IBSC in my head - they are so mean to me and want to make me fail so they can say "I told you so". Well lets prove em wrong so we can go "ner-ner-ner" to em!

    Keep up the good work, 34.6 in 3 months is just fantastic!

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  2. I wrote about my committee last week and my goal to treat myself with loving kindness. I think it really is the first and perhaps most major step in practicing good self-care. I'm trying to provide self-comfort in the form of positive and uplifting self-talk, rather than berating myself by committee. If self-denegration actually worked, my ass would look like Mary Kate Olsen's.

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  3. Do not wait up for your friends at WW. Instead, let them catch up to you. And if they're jealous of you, that's their tough luck. Keep up your good work - it's really paying off.

    The things in my head are always telling me I can't do something so what's the point of ever trying. I've made lots of headway in confronting that type of negative self-talk but it was so ingrained in me since childhood and continues still (perfectionist dad, bitchy(and envious)sister). I figured out that I have the power over myself, not them. Only took me 51 years to figure that out.

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  4. ahhh yes that committee is very active and its very hard to veto them.. but when I do it feels good...

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  5. Oh, I think we've all got the little inner dialog going, but we also have the abilty to use it to our advantage. Don't turn it off, just try and be nicer to yourself. We all deserve to be more positive and better to ourselves

    Congrats on the loss!

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  6. I'm sure you are such an inspiration to others at weight watchers. You should let a little bit of that inspiration rub off. Invite some of them for a walk. So glad you decided to do the contest. I hope i can pull it off without a hitch. I've come up with a theme now i have to come up with a prize......hmmmmmmm.... Jinx!

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  7. It inspires me when I see people losing, and I am sure your friends at WW are inspired by you. You can't raise people up by bringing yourself down. Congrats on yet another loss!

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  8. Congrats on yet another awesome week's loss!!

    Ditto what Patty said above! I think you are doing great and it can only be POSITIVE influence to others in your WW group. Be proud and lead them on!! :)

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  9. Congrats! You are doing super. Everyone loses at different weights and you should not feel bad about it. I get where you're coming from, though.

    Yeah, who doesn't have the committee in their head? I do, but when it starts screaming, I scream back louder. I'm getting much better at curbing my negative thoughts.

    It's all a part of the process, it's a body and mind journey.

    Forgive yourself, learn if there's a lesson to be learned, but forgive and move on.

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  10. Hey don't feel bad that you're losing and they're not. You don't know what kind of "routine" they have, if they even have one. They may not be sticking to plan and what-not. Just be proud of yourself for losing!

    And yes, I'm too hard on myself sometimes.

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  11. You are doing great Dana. Yea I know all about that little voice in your head. For me, it comes and goes so much I never seem able to conquer it. Just keep doing what you're doing though sounds like it's working.

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