**Prepare, this is going to long, and probably interesting to only me....consider yourself warned**
I haven't wanted to post anything for the past 2 days. Since I have been consumed by the following. I have been SLOWLY tampering off of Zoloft. I tried to do it myself earlier this year, but the physical symptoms were just really hard to deal with. So I have been under a doctors care. Things were going along great until this last week, when I was able to stop the med altogether. However, ever since I have been having these crazy feelings. Emotional, PARANOID, high anxiety. I feel like maybe I really did need the Zoloft. Then I start reading online about all the different withdrawal symptoms. I am pissed. These are just a few of the symptoms that it listed, all of which in the past week has been my GOLIATH, at one time or another. Highly emotional, thoughts of suicide, and anxiety How sad that when you stop using a prescribed psychotic medication, it makes you feel crazier then when you started.......to the point that I thought well maybe I really needed to start taking it again.
Then I remembered what happened to me last time I tried to get off of Paxil (another antidepressant). I was having very believable dreams that I was killing people and then putting the bodies thru a meat grinder. Pretty FREAKIN scary stuff!! I rode it thru, and I felt better, though I don't remember how long it took. That's what I am going to do this time as well. I am under a doctor's care, but I am not taking that crap anymore! Maybe it was all the brain cells I fried during my meth addiction, but I can't take antidepressants. THEY F*CK ME UP. You don't really feel like they are messing around with your brain until you stop taking them. At least for me. IAMNOTCRAAY IAMNOTCRAZY IAMNOTCRAZY!!!
So....I haven't been in a very good place. I have been foggy, confused, weepy, suspicious, and so tried that I can't think properly. Better living thru medicine my ass...........THIS SUCKS.
On the food/healthy lifestyle side of my life. Well food has been ok, not great but really good. Exercise has been KICK ASS. I did 45 mins at a 7 incline with a 2.8 speed. That my friends, is virgin territory by a long shot. I was so happy with it I cried all the way home (weepy, see I told you).
This too shall pass. I feel alittle better just writing about it.