Well I am really liking my new "weight watcher" meeting. We had loads of fun. I brought one of Mr. Sh*t's lists with me to read. I (rather Mr. Sh*t)was the hit of the meeting. I WEIGHED EXACTLY THE SAME. I will SO TAKE IT! I really should have gained. That time on the treadclimber was time well spent. On to this week!
I have been wondering why I have kind of sabotaged myself lately. I have been kind of freaked out that I have managed to loose this much weight. I have been getting lots of people noticing my efforts....then BAM! All of a sudden I don't feel worthy of the praise. Then the CRAZY POWERFUL BRAIN ( see Roxie's post today ) tells me the ever popular lie...."You Don't Deserve It". Then there are the old standbys if that doesn't work......."You haven't suffered enough to loose this much weight", ...."You suck, you're not doing this perfect", ..."You are still fat, why bother". Anyone elses brain a pisser like like that. And that's usually just round one.
I need to get used to this body that I have right now. Almost fifty pounds is alot of weight to loose. It doesn't matter that I am only half done with loosing the weight. I want to love and appreciate this body that I have, right now. I might need time to get used to it, before I loose alot more. I am not in a rush. I haven't done or eaten anything I don't think I could continue to do for a lifetime. I don't workout, I walk. I am going to start some strengthening exercises, but I am no rush. I want to be able to enjoy the journey, for the most part.....lol.
My mood is better today. I feel calmer and more comfortable in my own skin. That's huge! I still have those stupid lingering fears, but today I feel like I won't believe the lies. The more I can trust myself, the calmer and more confident I am.
I am getting better at starting my day out in a spiritual way. Prayer and meditation are so important. I need all the help I can get! Sometimes I get this "bright idea" that I can do it alone...wrong! Getting and STAYING spiritually grounded is time well spent, along with eating right and exercising.
Let's make it a great day!
Keep the mood and food real............