Get Grounded
Well I am really liking my new "weight watcher" meeting. We had loads of fun. I brought one of Mr. Sh*t's lists with me to read. I (rather Mr. Sh*t)was the hit of the meeting. I WEIGHED EXACTLY THE SAME. I will SO TAKE IT! I really should have gained. That time on the treadclimber was time well spent. On to this week!
I have been wondering why I have kind of sabotaged myself lately. I have been kind of freaked out that I have managed to loose this much weight. I have been getting lots of people noticing my efforts....then BAM! All of a sudden I don't feel worthy of the praise. Then the CRAZY POWERFUL BRAIN ( see Roxie's post today ) tells me the ever popular lie...."You Don't Deserve It". Then there are the old standbys if that doesn't work......."You haven't suffered enough to loose this much weight", ...."You suck, you're not doing this perfect", ..."You are still fat, why bother". Anyone elses brain a pisser like like that. And that's usually just round one.
I need to get used to this body that I have right now. Almost fifty pounds is alot of weight to loose. It doesn't matter that I am only half done with loosing the weight. I want to love and appreciate this body that I have, right now. I might need time to get used to it, before I loose alot more. I am not in a rush. I haven't done or eaten anything I don't think I could continue to do for a lifetime. I don't workout, I walk. I am going to start some strengthening exercises, but I am no rush. I want to be able to enjoy the journey, for the most part.....lol.
My mood is better today. I feel calmer and more comfortable in my own skin. That's huge! I still have those stupid lingering fears, but today I feel like I won't believe the lies. The more I can trust myself, the calmer and more confident I am.
I am getting better at starting my day out in a spiritual way. Prayer and meditation are so important. I need all the help I can get! Sometimes I get this "bright idea" that I can do it alone...wrong! Getting and STAYING spiritually grounded is time well spent, along with eating right and exercising.
Let's make it a great day!
Keep the mood and food real............
I have been wondering why I have kind of sabotaged myself lately. I have been kind of freaked out that I have managed to loose this much weight. I have been getting lots of people noticing my efforts....then BAM! All of a sudden I don't feel worthy of the praise. Then the CRAZY POWERFUL BRAIN ( see Roxie's post today ) tells me the ever popular lie...."You Don't Deserve It". Then there are the old standbys if that doesn't work......."You haven't suffered enough to loose this much weight", ...."You suck, you're not doing this perfect", ..."You are still fat, why bother". Anyone elses brain a pisser like like that. And that's usually just round one.
I need to get used to this body that I have right now. Almost fifty pounds is alot of weight to loose. It doesn't matter that I am only half done with loosing the weight. I want to love and appreciate this body that I have, right now. I might need time to get used to it, before I loose alot more. I am not in a rush. I haven't done or eaten anything I don't think I could continue to do for a lifetime. I don't workout, I walk. I am going to start some strengthening exercises, but I am no rush. I want to be able to enjoy the journey, for the most part.....lol.
My mood is better today. I feel calmer and more comfortable in my own skin. That's huge! I still have those stupid lingering fears, but today I feel like I won't believe the lies. The more I can trust myself, the calmer and more confident I am.
I am getting better at starting my day out in a spiritual way. Prayer and meditation are so important. I need all the help I can get! Sometimes I get this "bright idea" that I can do it alone...wrong! Getting and STAYING spiritually grounded is time well spent, along with eating right and exercising.
Let's make it a great day!
Keep the mood and food real............
I'm relieved to hear that you're feeling better today, Dana.
ReplyDeleteThose dark days are a b*tch.
Congrats on the sameness!
5o lbs is a HUGE loss for your brain & body to get used to.
Yes, my brain is definitely a pisser like that and more too. Without a doubt it's my biggest obstacle to climb over for lots of things, not just weight loss.
Glad your meetings are going well!
ReplyDeleteMy brain says the same thing to me - I keep thinking my wiring must be faulty or something. But I'm my own worst enemy sometimes.
Trying to reprogram my thinking is part of this whole process for me. I think it may be the hardest part!
I have been doing WW online for over a year now, but I really think I would like the meeting and I have gotten into a bit of a slump lately...maybe I'll try it out, I think it could help because I tend to have same sorts of thoughts (I'm not good enough, or trying hard enough etc).
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you are enjoying your "ww" meetings. They sound like a blast. And while you might not have lost any weight this week, you certainly didn't lose any ground, so I'd count that as a victory, for sure.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you are feeling better. Calm is good!
That's great about your weight watcher meetings! I know what you mean about feeling like you don't deserve to lose the weight...I get those feelings sometimes too. But WE DO DESERVE IT! :)
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear the WW meeting was good and that you "turtled" as we call it in TOPS lol. I think you're doing a wonderful job of getting "grounded" and finding what works for you. I have that voice in my head often too but we are worthy and we do deserve a good life. It is so important to love ourselves today just as we are, I struggle with that too sometimes. But you're right there isn't any rush in all this and we will get to where we want to be. When I went to my TOPS convention the one workshop woman Carol Clendinen said for real wellness we need emotional, physical and spiritual wellness so it sounds like you're really working all 3 of those things which is great. I definitely need more work in the spiritual area.
ReplyDeleteI love that you are sharing Jack's shisdom with the WW meetings, lol!
ReplyDeleteDo you know something - I have the same thoughts too - why are we like this? I have no idea. Is it to end the agonising fear of failure once and for all? I don't know. But I do know I bleddy will not let my brain stop me. I will keep on going NO MATTER WHAT! And I know you will too.
Yeah the walking is good, doing some weight-training is quite good fun too. It is entertaining seeing muscles appear and is good for the metabolism, I hear.
Anyway, you HAVE worked hard (getting up and doing walks every morning?), so you DO deserve the weight loss and feeling so much better.
Keep up the good work!
Ummmm... when do I get my check?
ReplyDeleteDon't kid yourself...walking is exercise, or working out, or whatever you want to call it! Best of all, it's sustainable. You can do it when you're 80.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely take it, missus. Though I am saying that, when I get a stay the same I am frickin' hating it! lol so kudos. even if you were expecting to gain...
ReplyDeletelove love love that you love your new meeting :D huge positive. actually this post is full of positives. good.
Whaqt is it about us women, we have this
ReplyDelete"I don't deserve" gene that so mucks up our lives... Well this time it is not going to do that, is it?
You do deserve to succeed and you will. Tell your self each morning, in your prayers and meditation.
We will all succeed with the support out here in Blog Land.
best wishes
Sheilagh
Congrats on the maintain!
ReplyDeleteAnd you deserve all the wonderful things that life has to offer!
I am with you on the starting the day with prayer and meditation.
ReplyDeleteIm new to the realization I need to end my day that way as well (which makes me almost LAUGH as I end my daughters day that way and then "forget" to do for myself).
it changes my entire life-outlook.
You're doing great and don't let that nasty little voice in the back of your head tell you otherwise. I fall into the same trap and agree with you that it's some kind of self-worth issue. But you ARE worthy of this so don't stop.
ReplyDeleteThanks for passin my blog along! :) I appreciate it!
ReplyDelete50 lbs is AWESOME!! Glad you were able to quell the negative thinking demons!
ReplyDelete