Tuesday, August 4, 2009

feeling defeated

I hate to sound like a broken BAD NEWS record but I went out to go to work this morning and my car wouldn't start. For real??

I am feeling crazy defeated. I was all jazzed about my WI last night, then I get up this morning and start deciding what to wear to work and I look in the mirror and all I see is this FAT CHICK staring back at me. FREAKING CRAZY BRAIN. At least I am able to recognize it for what it is. My dis-eased mind. I am not going to fall for the lie. This will not set me up to sabotage my efforts. I will not do it.

Then I read about what a rough day Jen ( prior fat girl ) has in front of her and I feel guilty for feeling all picked on. I know in the grand scheme of things this is a blip, but damn it how many blips can I take? Crap I need to quit asking that!

I really feel good despite the crazy crying that I am now doing. I know, stupid....but I can't help it. Things will work out. I am so tried of saying that too.

6 comments:

  1. You'll get through it. Hope the car is nothing serious. Maybe we all need to put a before picture on our mirrors I bet that would make all of us realize we are making progress. Wish I could give you a hug *hug*.

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  2. Just take one hour at a time!! And breathe

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  3. Oh, darn, something else eh? This has got to be the end of your run of bad luck, surely?

    Funny thing is, I have some days when I feel so slim and some days I feel so fat too :(

    Still, you are slimmer and still getting smaller every day - 53lbs is fantastic and even if you aren't totally happy with what you see in the mirror, your body will be feeling a lot better anyway.

    Besides, looking in the mirror when your shoulders are slumped and your face is red and puffy from crying, just isn't going to look good even on the tiniest of tiny model-creatures.

    Hope you can get the car fixed and you got to work OK, life without a car is much harder.

    More (((hugs))) x

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  4. The fact that you are still writing about this is great. You are showing such strength of character - and crying about it is understandable! Lord knows, I would be.

    Don't let The Crazy Brain convince you of untruths. You are doing a great job. You've come such a long way and have been so strong and so good to yourself. Don't let TCB convince you that you are undeserving of good things.

    Together, let's all set an intention. You are good with the money you have. Your car will be fixed. You will continue to take good care of yourself.

    May we all live in peace.

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  5. *opens arms* come hug me! Seriously woman, what did i tell you about lucky charms?

    THINGS WILL WORK OUT. YES. stay positive babes! i know its easy saying it but really *hugs*

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