Monday, August 17, 2009

stay in the moment

Weekend was nothing like I planned. I was at dead run all day Saturday it seemed. Worked all day doing extra money stuff and then they moved dinner up. Then I took the grandkids home to babysit. I was exhausted. Yesterday was a nice day. Went to a friend's house with my daughter and the kids to swim and have lunch. I was thinking they would have healthy stuff, but alas it was chips and hot dogs. I did have alittle of both, but filled up on watermelon that I brought. I got home and was still hungry. I needed to go to the store, but was just too wiped out. This week has not been a good one. Too many salty meals, too much eating out. I have weigh in tonight...... if I don't go out to look at houses.I am tempted to just skip this week. I am not overly excited about weighing. Hell, I am not overly excited about any damn thing.

I have been in a funk for about a week now. I am sure it is hormonal. This morning I just felt this over whelming sense of impending doom. Sounds apocalyptic doesn't it??!! I know that these feeling are irrational and that does help, but it doesn't take them away. Like yesterday, even though it was a nice day, I couldn't wait to get out of there. I am turning into my Grandpa. I always thought he was crazy for not wanting to go anywhere or do anything. He also went to bed very early and woke up real early. I always thought that was crazy too. Now....look what I've become. HIM! Serves me right! lol

I am going to try to convince myself today that my crazy brain is trying to freak me out. It wants me to feel all afraid and unsure of myself. It knows that if it can do this to me long enough I am bound to justify stupid behavior. Like eating till I am ready to explode. I will not let my emotions ruin my day today. I REALLY can choose to be happy. I have to remember to STAY IN THE MOMENT. That's were my true feelings are real. I will not freak out over stuff that has happened in the past....... or hasn't even happened yet....or EVER WILL! See what I am saying....CRAZY BRAIN!

I am walking up a storm still, so that has been really helpful. I can't even imagine what I would be feeling like if I didn't have that outlet. Plus my walking buddy and I talk things out as we walk....and that is really helpful, as my mind can cripple me sometimes before 5 AM.....I am only half kidding.

So blogger buddies, anyone else feeling funky? How do you control your emotions so they don't control you? Inquiring minds want to know!

Keep the mood and the food real. Stay in the moment.


  1. I hate that impending doom feeling. Just had a moment of it now that my weekend visits are over. Not sure what it is, but I do know that they DO pass. Eventually, lol!

    I am still learning about how to cope with them, I do try to distract myself with a good read, movie, blog or by getting outside for a bit. Time will tell whether I have conquered it or not.

    Hope you feel better soon!

  2. Runaway anxiety manifesting as impending doom! Check.

    You are doing great, truly. Recognizing the underlying emotions PRIOR to acting upon them is such a huge step.

    I got no real answers - just know that you are not alone. We've all got each other to lean on - Sisters of The Crazy Brain.

    Sometimes just acknowledging how I am feeling is enough to help.

  3. Yeah, I'm feeling funky. After tons of warm sunny days, we're looking at a solid week of dreariness. On top of that, my husband is in Denver for 6 days and I'm not ready for school to start. Anxiety is my middle name right now.

    You ask an interesting question. How do I control my emotions? Well... short answer, I don't. I can't. I have no idea if this is the "right" approach, but it's where I am in life/maturity right now. I controlled my negative emotions for years through food & drugs (some legal, most illegal) and sex and shopping and lots of other exterior things. Although it did help me to temporarily feel less pain or discomfort, it has hurt me in countless and long-lasting ways.

    Now, I just try to feel the negative emotions. The most important thing to me is not controlling the emotions, but making sure the emotions do not control me. When I feel the anxiety starting to build, I acknowledge it. I let my husband know it's coming. I honor it, prepare for it and make room for it. I batten down my emotional hatches and get ready to ride out the storm. I reassure myself by acknowledging that this is JUST a negative emotion and it will pass. It always has before and it will this time.

    When it gets really rough, I turn to my best friend. He always listens for as long as I need and I always feel better when I come away from Him. I know it sounds corny, but God is my best friend, and prayer does work.

    You say to keep the mood real. Well anxiety is reality for lots of us. Especially (IMHO) those of us who battle addiction (aka the crazy-brained). Feel it. Do not fear. I swear every time we run it gets stronger. When we face it and deal with it head on, we get stronger.

    Sorry about the wordiness.

    Have a great day, even if great just means surviving today.

  4. Sorry crazy brain has returned - hope the funk leaves soon! Love your last sentence - sometimes that's all you can do!

  5. I've also been in a bit of a funk and had a rough weekend. Right now, I'm trying to just focus on the positive, rock the "today is a new day" thing.

    I'd strongly advise you not to skip the weigh in. I think it's really important to face the scale consequences for our transgressions, so to speak. Whenever we don't do a weigh in it makes it that much easier to not weigh in the next time, and then the next time, and then you've just stopped weighing yourself and the weight slowly comes back. As painful as it might be (for me, today was painful: I'm at the highest weight I've been in 6 days), I think it's really important to face the music.

  6. You said you wanted to skip a week - I did that once, and boy, were my legs sore!
    hehe :D
    When we finally face our "stuff," it's not so's only the anticipation that really frightens us.

  7. Oooo--I hate that feeling of doom. Thankfully it doesn't come very often these days. For the last ten months or so I have been practicing positive thinking. Sometimes I fail, but not as mush as I used to. When I feel worried or doom-ish (is that a word?) I focus on the blessings in my life and put my fear in God's hands. When I do that it works wonderfully!!! Hope your week this week is peaceful and productive! Blessings--Bonnie

  8. I'm all over the anxiety lately. I agree with Anne H. - when I finally face whatever is causing the anxiety, it's never half as bad as I thought it would be. Blogging is a great outlet. Just knowing there are others out there with the same issues I face is nice. Oh, and lots of alcohol helps(jk).

  9. I know that 'this too shall pass' . I just try to ride it out. Hubby has been with me long enough (20 years) to know when i'm not myself. And he usually gives me what i need be it space or closeness.
    I bury my head in a book sometimes till the storm passes by. Sleep a little more. Hang in there McButter. I'll be thinking about you. I hope you went to your meeting..........JInx!

  10. I too have been snacking on the old watermelon! mmm... delicious!

    I also have been in a funk this last week. As of yesterday no more. Chin up, babes! We are better than that! You are happy. The world is a great place to be. Push those shitty irrational thoughts away with a fat ass mighty shove. If I can do it you certainly can! People (awesome people like you) kicked me out of the funk so I am here to kick you outta yours! *raises kicking leg*

    *high fives* to walking up a storm! (that creates the best image in my head!)

    in the moment.

  11. I believe our Crazy Brains may be related.
    I have no offerings of wisdom either but KNOW you are NOT alone.
    I'm reading some books Change Your Thinking by Sarah Edelman & another one about the 5 things we cannot change by David Richo
    but not often enough to let them digest and become a part of my regular thinking yet.
    This takes a lot of work and practice eh?
    Like others have said ... at least you're enlightened to the fact that CrazyBrain is in action and a big fat liar.
    We will get there from here.
    Sorry I missed this yesterday. I was off and on and blogger was acting all crazy yesterday.

  12. Well you're definitely not alone in your feelings Dana. It looks like we all have days/weeks like this. For me, it is just about riding it out and trying to stay rational in my thinking.


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