It's Worth It

I have been feeling good. Really good. So what do I do when I feel like this? I'll tell you. If I am not careful The Crazy Brain will tell me that things are TOO good. When will the other shoe fall. This can't last forever. It's almost like I am willing things to go wrong.

I am loving my job right now. Things are going along really well. I feel apprecitated. So why have I been tense over nothing at work? Afraid I am forgetting something? Who knows. The bad thing is that for the past couple days I have really wanted to use. Those of you who have been reading for a while know that I am a recovering drug addict as well as a recovering food addict.

Now don't freak out. I didn't use, nor will I. However after getting off the drugs I used food as a way to cope with the feelings I didn't want to feel. I gained 90 lbs in 2 years after I got clean. So for the past couple of days I have felt at dis-ease. To me that means out of sorts. Nothing is really wrong. Everything is too good, like I said. Anyway, I have really tried my best to not eat my way thru the feelings this time. Not even binging on "good for me" stuff. I do that. ALOT. Lately.

This is not an easy journey. Life isn't suppose to be easy. It's ok. While I was on the treadcliomber this morning I had what I would call a spiritual experience. I was really pushing myself. I haven't felt like that I don't think EVER. I felt like their was a Power Greater then myself pushing me to go fast and push myself harder. I cried. Cried pretty hard. I found it be very cathartic. Guess what, now I feel fantastic! The feeling is gone. Once I tell on TCB it goes away.

This thing is HARD.........but so worth it. Keep the mood and the food real

Comments

  1. Cole Walter MellonOctober 29, 2009 at 8:23 AM

    I find exercise to release a lot of negative energy. I can't remember a good workout where I left feeling worse than when I came in.

    Good for you for fighting off your inner demons.

    ReplyDelete
  2. SevenbeadsOctober 29, 2009 at 8:53 AM

    You've overcome so much! That's one fine endorsement for exercise.

    ReplyDelete
  3. RoxieOctober 29, 2009 at 9:00 AM

    Your views on overcoming adversity are always spot on. Thank you for sharing your ESH.

    ReplyDelete
  4. bbubblybOctober 29, 2009 at 9:29 AM

    Glad you're feeling fantastic my friend. I know what you mean about feeling that dis-ease, I love that you write it that way. Thanks for always making me feel better with your words.

    ReplyDelete
  5. ShelleyOctober 29, 2009 at 9:45 AM

    I so appreciate your honesty, Dana. I understand swapping one addiction for another, and now, with having to control food, needing another release - glad you found it with exercise. Hugs to you, my friend!

    ReplyDelete
  6. BrightceteraOctober 29, 2009 at 9:58 AM

    Dana, I've felt like smoking again in moments of CB.
    That feeling you had on the treadmill ... bliss.
    I appreciate your honesty too.

    ReplyDelete
  7. MelissaOctober 29, 2009 at 10:09 AM

    You are so honest and I really appreciate that. Glad the exercise is helping ot be a release. (((hugs)))

    ReplyDelete
  8. WWSuziOctober 29, 2009 at 10:15 AM

    It is hard! You just have to remember where you're trying to get to, although i don't always remember.
    What a great feeling on that treadmill today :)
    I'm so glad you're in a good place right now.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Diane, Fit to the FinishOctober 29, 2009 at 11:05 AM

    You have a great attitude towards the whole process! Exercise is something I avoided for a long time, but once I finally did it I was shocked to find out that I loved it!

    ReplyDelete
  10. SheilaghOctober 29, 2009 at 1:13 PM

    I love your honesty and I am really pleased for you. You have come so far and it is great to see how good you are feeling.

    You are an inspiration to me.

    hugs

    Sheilagh

    ReplyDelete
  11. Katie J ♥October 29, 2009 at 1:29 PM

    You speak from your heart and it shows. Thanks for being so honest and sharing with us.

    ReplyDelete
  12. screwdestinyOctober 29, 2009 at 3:45 PM

    It is worth it. And you are a strong person who can deal with whatever your brain or the outside world is throwing at you.

    ReplyDelete
  13. wildfluffysheepOctober 29, 2009 at 4:13 PM

    i loved the end to this post.
    you do HAVE a great attitude. I am so glad you posted this missus! Got to pull the bad with the good.

    sometimes a good cry is all we need. let it all out. <3 stick with it babes!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Valerie RobersonOctober 29, 2009 at 7:39 PM

    You are awesome.
    I do this as well-worry about things being too good, and then I usually self sabotage. You are so inspirational!! Have an awesome Friday :D

    ReplyDelete
  15. Journo June aka MamaBearOctober 29, 2009 at 10:36 PM

    You amaze me. You do a great job of keeping it real and persevering.

    ReplyDelete
  16. MizOctober 30, 2009 at 3:44 AM

    I appreciate your raw honesty.

    inspiring normalizing and amazing.

    ReplyDelete

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