I have been feeling good. Really good. So what do I do when I feel like this? I'll tell you. If I am not careful The Crazy Brain will tell me that things are TOO good. When will the other shoe fall. This can't last forever. It's almost like I am willing things to go wrong.
I am loving my job right now. Things are going along really well. I feel apprecitated. So why have I been tense over nothing at work? Afraid I am forgetting something? Who knows. The bad thing is that for the past couple days I have really wanted to use. Those of you who have been reading for a while know that I am a recovering drug addict as well as a recovering food addict.
Now don't freak out. I didn't use, nor will I. However after getting off the drugs I used food as a way to cope with the feelings I didn't want to feel. I gained 90 lbs in 2 years after I got clean. So for the past couple of days I have felt at dis-ease. To me that means out of sorts. Nothing is really wrong. Everything is too good, like I said. Anyway, I have really tried my best to not eat my way thru the feelings this time. Not even binging on "good for me" stuff. I do that. ALOT. Lately.
This is not an easy journey. Life isn't suppose to be easy. It's ok. While I was on the treadcliomber this morning I had what I would call a spiritual experience. I was really pushing myself. I haven't felt like that I don't think EVER. I felt like their was a Power Greater then myself pushing me to go fast and push myself harder. I cried. Cried pretty hard. I found it be very cathartic. Guess what, now I feel fantastic! The feeling is gone. Once I tell on TCB it goes away.
This thing is HARD.........but so worth it. Keep the mood and the food real