Oh Sweet Crazy Brain, how you vex me. Yesterday life was grand! The perfect day. This morning I am a nut case. I can't stand how I look in any of the pants I had hemmed. Remember, it's not really got cold here in the desert, so I haven't worn long pants in a long time. I know it's just cause I am not used to seeing myself dressed that way ( girlie ) but still. My mind is playing tricks on me. Focusing on areas of my body that I hate. (stomach and arms) Instead of being DAMN proud of my accomplishments.
WTF!!! I have decided to wear what I feel comfortable in. I have borrowed so much stuff that I don't even feel like myself. I have WAY over packed, cause I need someone to help me. I think I look stupid, but again, I have TCB. My sisters will help put me together.
I am going thru other emotions too. If my sister is reading this (and I know you are, love ya) remember this is about the way I feel. You have done nothing, EVER, to make me feel this way. I compare myself to my sisters, too much. They are beautiful women inside and out. They always look like the stepped out of a magazine. I on the other hand, dress like a slump-a-dunk ( i don't know, I just made it up) and don't even wear make up.
See what I mean. I hate that I have focused so much on what to wear and if I will look good "enough". Good enough for what, to visit my sisters, that love me. This journey is about so much more then what I put in my mouth or how much I move. It's about believing that you're good enough. That you are worth all the work and sacrifice it takes to loose 60 + lbs. Believe that no matter how I look on the outside, on the inside I ROCK! And that my friends, is where it's at!
I love that I just kicked ASS on the treadclimber. That I am even willing to climb aboard is a miracle. So my bags are packed and I am ready to laugh my ass off. Cause really, who cares what I look like. It's how I FEEL that matters. Always has been, always will be.
Keep the mood and the food real.............BELIEVE!