About a month ago I made the decision to buy a scale. I even wrote a post asking myself if I was emtional ready to have a scale in the house. Well as of this week the scale is going to a friend's house. I have been on and off that damn thing all day yesterday and then I hopped on again this morning. My head is just not in a good place. I am still struggling food wise. Totally over eating. So then I end up with stomach problems. No walking this morning. Plus my knee is hurting as well. I am not eating total crap, I am just eating too much. I am using food.
For some reason I am trying to sabatoge myself. I don't know if this is a depression or hormones or what. I feel tired as hell all the time. I have not really pushed myself physically in a week. For some reason my head as gone back to "diet" mode. I have been trying to figure out calories/points. I haven't done this since I 1st started. It is not working for me. I liked it better when I just eat good food and focused on feeling healthier. Not focusing on the size of the pants. I can't comfortably wear the skinny bitch jeans now either. This has been messing with my head TOTALLY. For the past few days it has been that STUPID all or nothing mentality.
Pride has snuck into my thinking. I have been getting so many compliments lately. That is always dangerous. I am worthy of every nice thing said to me. In my head I know that. But, is it really the way I FEEL? Me thinks not. So what am I going to do about it?
HOLD ON.....that's what! This will not last forever. I refuse to be thrown totally off track. I will stay the course, and I will hold on. I didn't want to do another poor me post. Oh well, it is what it is. What's so frustrating is that I know it's up to me. Yet I fight my every good intention. Try to do better today. It's all I can do.
Today's tender mercy is the fact that I have so much support. Between my family and friends amd all my blogger buddies I know I am not alone. Plus I have lots of people rooting for me. All that positive energy can't hurt, it can only help.
I love this quote from the new Mitch Albom book Have A Little Faith. "We fail until we don't".
keep the mood and the food real. Hold On!