Thursday, June 17, 2010

Intentions

I basically just sent this in an email to a friend, but I decided to share it here as well.

I have been questioning my intentions and the part I played in getting all upset over this car thing. I know that most of my unhappiness comes when I have a resentment. Like this stupid car thing. The friend is my crazy boss lady. She OFFERED to help me. I have been doing extra kind things for her since she blew up at me awhile back....remember that?? I started out doing it because I truly believe that if you don't want to resent someone you should serve them. So this has been going on for awhile. I do enjoy it. Plus it drives her crazy because I won't let her pay me. Which I really don't want to be paid for doing her dishes, or running the vacuum real quick. I really thought I was doing it out of love. Then when she told me that she talked it over with her hubs and they decided not to do help me I was hurt. Which really means that I was pissed. Anger is a perceived injustice. I thought it was unfair. I really had to look at my intentions. Was I expecting a payoff this whole time? Probably I was. That was as big a kick in the pants as anything else. UGH! I set myself for another resentment. Feeling so much less resentful now. I always have a part to play...ALWAYS! I will continue to do those extra kind things for her. As much for me as for her.

That's really it for today. I am really grateful for the comments and support I got yesterday. Thank you everyone. I forgot the most important Agreement.....Don't take anything personally. It's never really about me.

I have a plain denim dress. I think I might post a pic of it and then see what good tips I get for accessories. Maybe tomorrow. Have a great Thursday. The weekend will be here before I know it. My son and his GF are hosting a Meet the Parents night tomorrow night at their apartment. My daughter and SIL will be there too. Looking forward to that.

Keep the mood and the food real........do you ever question your intentions?

11 comments:

  1. This is such a huge thing for me. I come from a long line of manipulators/agenda havers/controllers and I am GOOD at it. I continue to be stunned at some of my own intentions, if I get down and get honest. I try to not do anything until I am absolutely sure of my intentions.

    Dana, this is so insightful. I know it doesn't help the car situation in the short term, but I'm still practicing "carma" on your behalf. Hugs.

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  2. Good for you finding more of the root of the problem.

    Accessorize with bright cute stuff! Post a pic!

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  3. I really admire you for looking deep into your own intentions...not many people do that. And I'm with Roxie - still sending good Carma (love that spelling) to you!

    Love that you are going to do Fashion Friday, too! It's fun to see what other people are coming up with to wear. :)

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  4. I loved that you've examined your intentions and how resentment and anger are tied together. I need to take a page out of your book and start examining my own feelings. Good for you!

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  6. Blessings, dear girl. ((hugs)) Sometimes it's clear when our motives aren't what they should be, but other times it really does take some serious soul searching to see what's in our heart. Most people don't care enough to even go there. The Lord will supply all your needs! :)

    Love, Gracie-kins

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  7. Thinking of you and wanted to say Hi!

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  8. I do.
    I adore my father but he was a role model for the passive aggressive way of life.

    I shall leave it at THAT :)

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  9. I question everything. Thats why I end up not doing nothing.

    <3 i love your self realisations. I never have them. Never learning.

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