Tuesday, July 27, 2010

frustrated

I am without any tech entertainment at home. First my internet went out last night. I watch all TV on the lapop now days, except news in the morning. Then while I was putting my laptop in the bag this morning at 4 am I hit something on the remote and now my TV is out. I just shook my head. I called my son last night to come see what's up with the internet. The cable company said it's something on my end. Probably something easy, but since I know nothing about computers, it's beyond me. So I cleaned out a couple of closets. I was at work by 6 am. Rode the bike to work this morning.

I have a confession. I have gained almost 15 lbs. I got on the scales this morning and was shocked to say the least. I am hoping that if I will just push the H20 and get back to work that it will come right back off. I have been stress eating. ALOT> Using food. Falling asleep way too early. I feel like I am hiding out. When Roxie told me to entertain more, I almost had an anxiety attack. I have become a hermit. When did this happen??

I am still walking almost everyday. I am loving walking on the treadclimber and pushing myself alittle more. I haven't been walking as far cause my buddies haven't been able to. So instead of making it up by myself, I let it slide. I have been allowing crap food back into my home and it has got to stop. I am feeling pretty frustrated with myself. To say the least.

I am not going to say that this is the day that I turn it all around. I am just going to do my best. Make the next right choice and not beat myself up. I feel that since I started therapy to try to work on some pretty serious issues so I don't gain the weight back........that I have started to gain the weight back . That's pretty much what's happened. Didn't see that coming. Like I said, FRUSTRATED.

I don't know if my sister is coming from Japan now. Feel sad. Especially since my other sister spent alot of money to come from Utah to visit her, and me too. She'll miss the shower too. Anyway, it is really hard when she's so far away and I can't get ahold of her. I will hope for the best.

Going to put a smile on my face and fake till I make it. Keep the mood and the food real.........

12 comments:

  1. What do they say? It is always darkest before the dawn? Maybe that is how therapy works. Sorry about your sister, perhaps she will still come. I am excited for your shower. I know it will be awesome. As for the 15 pounds, I feel your pain. You can get it off!! I would like to drop 15 of my 39 pound gain. Your daughter and I might come out of this with HUGE babies. Yay for drugs.

    I am with you. I shall fake it til I make it!

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  2. Hey. Glad you said all this. Don't know if it makes you feel any better, but from the outside, saying this stuff out loud means you're dealing with it.

    Wish I had some wisecrack to make you chuckle, but I got bupkis. So, I'll just say faking it till you make it sounds like a pretty solid plan to me.

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  3. You can do it girl! Keep smiling. One step at a time!

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  4. Not all progress is linear and not all progress is directly tied to the scale. Being in therapy is tough sledding. It's dealing face to face with the crap that made us use (insert whatever) in the first place.

    Oh my dear friend, I didn't mean to send you into hyperventilations!

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  5. You know I am the same way I start being a hermit when I just don't want to deal with myself. I think Roxie had a great idea. Really though even just hanging with the family helps and you have still been doing that. As for the creeping lbs I think it's good you are realizing why they have come back on. But you know how to get them back off so just keep faking it till you make it like you said. Hang in there my friend *big hugs*.

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  6. You already said what i was going to say: fake it till you make it! "hugs"

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  7. I can totally relate! I put on 25# (again) and am desperately working to take it off plus all the other pounds I need to lose. Hang in there and take it a day at a time!

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  8. You can do this sweetie ,keep on :) stop by soon.cilla

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  9. Babes! 15 pounds is nothing. I am practically back at square one. We can and WILL do this. We just need to get our pretty little heads back in the game. Slowly slowly. <3 here to help any way i can. you are doing great do not let this little blip derail you. we;re in it for the long haul m'lovely.

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  10. We have all been there or are there right now! In 2 months, I packed on 20 lbs. It's easy to do, but the greatest glory is in keeping going to you get it right. It's no coincidence my quote of the week is, "Sometimes you have to fight a battle more than once to win it." I'm with you, girlie!

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  11. Hang in there my friend! Stress makes us do stupid things...especially with food right? lol You love your walks and riding your bike- just try to plan the meals a little better and get rid of the no no foods. lol :) You can do it, I know you can!

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