Thursday, August 19, 2010

Fighting the Good Fight

WOW! The week has flown by. I can't believe it's already Thursday. Work has been crazy. I have been lazy. I am worn out when I get home. I haven't really been wanting to blog this week. Doing alittle less time on the computer and more time engaged in real life. Which is a good thing. Food has been good. Not eating out. Fruits and veggies and protein. The good stuff. Went to book club Tuesday night and said no to the sweet roll. Got on the scales the next morning and gained 2 lbs. The body, she is fickle....no? Made me laugh. Weighing ever day has been good and as long as I can keep this kind of attitude I am going to keep it up. I am overall feeling more peaceful.

Walking as always. Getting ready to watch good old Brenda Lee Johnson solve another murder. I woke up late this morning and opted out of an outdoor walk. So the treadclimber is happening as soon as I sign off. Trying to push myself alittle harder.

Have been thinking alot about my body image lately. When my intention shifted from eating healthy and feeling better to about the number or the size I started to lose focus. Why would that be. Everyone wants to look good. That's not a bad thing. But it is true, when I started going out and buying new clothes and was forced to look at all new sizes ( some I could wear, some I couldn't ) and look at myself critically in the mirror things started changed. It was subtle, hardly noticeable at first, but changed none the less. Do I not feel worthy of be thinner or a certain weight? I don't know. I know in my head that I am, but do I feel it in my heart.

Forgiving one's self is a tricky business. Much harder then forgiving some one else. At least I think so. I am so much better then I used to be. No where near where I want to be. I know that today I am a work in progress. Sometimes progress is slow, most times progress is slow. Today I feel like I am pressing forward. Fighting a good fight.........for me.

Hope everyone is having a great Thursday......keep the mood and the food real

194.2

8 comments:

  1. Yeah, that scale can sure be a biotch!!! I totally understand about the body image thing, our minds are crazy things to figure out and create much of our battle I would guess!

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  2. It does seem like the week has gone by fast this time. Avoiding eating out is really helpful for keeping yourself in charge of what you eat and how it was prepared.

    Passing up the treat at Book Club may seem like a small thing but I know how much strength it takes. The small sacrifices add up.

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  3. I agree with you on the week flying by! I also agree about taking more time in real life and less time on the computer. While I do love "our" community, real life is important to.

    Oh, that scale. Just laugh and keep right on doing the next good thing. It'll catch up.

    Hugs to you!

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  4. Very good observation about losing better when you are focused on being healthy versus being a certain size. I will be thinking long and hard about that today!

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  5. Yea, that darn scale. Glad you're living in the real world more I think I need a bit more of that myself. The week is flying by because the kids go back to school, at least for me lol. The body image, hmmmm, not sure I'll ever feel just right about mine but I'm trying. Glad to hear you're pressing forward, always the right direction to be going *hugs*.

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  6. I am glad it is flying by! Looking forward to the weekend for sure.

    Always striving for balance too. I love the blogosphere but I know I should reduce my time spent on it - working on it.

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  7. Someone was flirting with me so much,
    I ate and ate and ate.
    My first binge since LoCarb.
    I ask myself these same questions.
    Sheesh!
    hugs and stuff!

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