Sunday, September 12, 2010

Memories and Moving On

Well what a wonderful weekend. Let me 1st say that I have the most wonderful daughter in the world. She and my friend made me a Book of Memories. A scrapbook full of memories family and friends wrote about me. IT was one of the best nights of my 50 years. 1st she gave me a card that called me a "Skinny Bitch". Who doesn't like that....right? Made me laugh. My eyes are bad, my arm just isn't long enough...lol.

I started looking through the scrapbook and I was amazed at who had wrote memories. A dear friend that I was in Salvation Army rehab with years ago. Cousins that I haven't seen for a while. My aunts and sister. My nieces. I received notes from family members of loved ones that I cared for in their last days. High school buddies that I haven't seen in years. I even had a note from the old boss lady. She wrote very nice things. How I made her laugh and how I was always there for her. She submitted it to my daughter a couple of weeks ago and Cassie included it. I am glad she did. Even other members of her family submitted stories. Sweet stories.

I was shocked to see how fat I was. I don't have alot of before pics, but other people did and I was just in awe. So was every one there. It really was a celebration of me. Of the good things in my life. Loosing 100 lbs was the gift I gave myself. I was floored by what I have accomplished. I really can do hard. We all can.

That's when I had to cover my face and go into the ugly cry. The entire week last week was a mixture of really good stuff and really crazy bad stuff. I am still over whelmed by peoples kindness and love. Then I get over whelmed with the seriousness of my situation. I have been on an emotional roller coaster. I feel like I need a to just take a deep breath and appreciate it all. The good, the bad and the ugly. I feel strangely calm about it all. I really have a feeling that no matter what happens, I will be ok.

Now it's business time. The birthday fun and fog is over. It's Monday morning I have no where to go. I have been up for my walk and plan on a bike ride to the food store. Maybe the library. I went on a super long bike ride yesterday. Not sure how far. Did some good thinking. My biggest hurdle now is going to be discouragement. I can't let those thought over power my good thoughts. Life is difficult. It's not suppose to be easy. I am going to press forward with faith. I am going to be better for this experience.
I have not turned to food over this. I have allowed myself a few more things then I would normally, but nothing big. There were lots of things to celebrate last week. This week I am going to focus on doing the next right thing in all areas of my life. Like Roxie says....1st do no harm. To myself or others. I need to remember that I can only do my best. I can not control the actions of others. I am planning on staying busy doing good works. Doing things that I have wanted to do, but that I haven't had the time or energy to do. I have a line on an elder care jobs. I filed for unemployment. So things are looking up. I am thinking this might be the time to take a few classes. Update my skills. I have lots of options. I just need to keep reminding myself of that.
Keep the mood and the food....











9 comments:

  1. Just a beautiful post, Dana. What a delight your daughter is - what a wonderful and thoughtful gift.

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  2. :) aww what a sweet gift. Glad you had a good birthday weekend my friend! :) xoxo

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  3. Wow what an amazing gift. Glad you had a nice birthday! Now go have a great week :)

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  4. Awww, your daughter is the best!!! What a lovely thing to put together for you, the scrapbook...and I'm sure it couldn't have come at a better time. The pictures tell a wonderful story of your birthday - thank you for sharing them.

    I hope you have a calm week. Take it slow, take lots of deep breaths, and just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

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  5. I am so glad that you experienced something so wonderful. What a great idea. I am glad you loved it. Wonderful.

    Things will work out. Life is funny like that. God is good. Be strong, like we all know you can be. We're here for you. I am on the unemployment band wagon too. Just take some time.

    Here for you babes <3 puffy heart love hugs

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  6. What a wonderful way to celebrate you!! I'm so glad you celebrated your birthday surrounded by people you love.

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  7. What a wonderful gift. You had me doing the ugly cry too lol. Glad you have such wonderful people in your life. Big hugs my friend.

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  8. I think that is a really thoughtful gift! I love my daughter to pieces too!

    I think its a good idea to take some classes!

    Happy Belated Birthday!

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  9. Such a lovely gift! I think you should definitely take some classes. Figure out what interests you and use this as a time to learn some new stuff.

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