Saturday, September 4, 2010

off to a good start

Off to a good start for the long weekend. Got a very early morning walk in with the buddies. I didn't walk with them yesterday morning cause I spent the night at out my daughter's house. I got in 3 miles Friday morning too. I love walking out at my daughter's. It seems the sky is bluer out there in the the desert. I wogged actually. I spent more time running then ever before. It felt good. After my walk this morning I decided I can't be cooped up in this house, so I went for a bike ride. Got to get out early, before the heat advisory. Rode the bike home in a heat advisory yesterday. Wasn't that bad, really. Like I said, I can do anything for 20 mins. I could have gotten a ride home. I wanted to see if I could do it. And I can.

I have been watching Joyce Meyers on the computer. I love her. I would highly recommend her for anyone of any religion. She has a series on Changing Your Heart. It has been very helpful to me over the past week. I have been trying to rid myself of resentment. Not something that I can do alone. I need Heavenly Help. I have found the AA trick for resentment to be the quickest cure. That is to include the person I have a resentment against. Ask that they be blessed with what ever they need. Do it for 2 weeks. I've never had to do it past a few days....until this past year. So I am getting alot more help this time.

I need a change. So what does a person do that is fearful of change. I get stuck. With things they way they are in this economy I know I should just be grateful for my job. I really do try to look at that way. My co-worker has decided my boss lady is jealous of me. I doubt that, but it is starting to make me think. My boss lady has never treated me this bad. It's just since I've lost weight. She put back on around 60 pounds as I was taking it off. She has a son that is over 400 lbs. Since he's been on disability he hasn't lost anything significant, while I have lost 80 lbs. 100 lbs since she has known me.

So maybe that's true. I don't know. Just typing the above paragraph makes me feel grateful. Grateful to have loss the weight and have really changed the way I eat. Grateful that I am able to be active. That I am able to bike and walk and not HAVE to depend on a vehicle. There really is a sense of freedom in that. If it's true then really I can't do anything about it. I can't do anything to make her change her feelings. I can change how I react. That's were the real power is. In changing me. Can I accept this thing that I can not change? It really is so hurtful when people you love do cutting things to you. It makes a wound that has to heal. At least I know where to turn for healing.

Going to go to the cheap movie this morning. Seeing "Get Low." It looks pretty good. Sissy Spacek and Robert Duvall. Then I am going to get my youngest Gdaughter and she gets to have an alone over nighter with her Gege. Church tomorrow, naps and and DVDs. Then Monday my walking buddies and I all have Bdays this week. So we are going for breakfast after the walk. Then who knows. I am going to enjoy my long weekend and truly try to leave work behind.

Nothing yet on the elder care front. Something will happen. I know it will. This is a great opportunity to practice patience. Something I need much practice in.

keep the mood and the food real.............


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2 comments:

  1. It's so great to hear that you're doing better, Dana. :) Good for you for getting lots of activity in recently! Resentment that is something that can be very hard to let go of, but it will only eat away at the heart of the person holding and do nothing to the one it's held against. If your boss is jealous of you, I hope she gets over it soon or that you find another opportunity to earn your income. It's sad that we can't always improve ourselves without there being some negative reactions. Well anyway, have a great Labor Day weekend!

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  2. Your attitude is so great. Another way that I have found to lessen my resentments is to keep my mind from going there. My habit/tendency is to think about it, turn it over and over in my mind, trying to "figure out" someone, when really, it's none of my business. And sometimes I have to talk to myself as if I were a dog "Drop it" or "Leave it" if I'm just churning myself up over some situation.

    Oh, man, I'm anxious to hear about that movie. It played in an art house here for two weekends only and I missed it. I don't know if it will be back in general release.

    Hope your weekend so far is fabulous. Patience is hard for me, too. I feel ya, sister.

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