Friday, October 1, 2010

I need a routine

It's so early. I went to bed very early last night. My little job is no more. The hubs was taken to the hospital and so my little patient was taken to a care center. Trying not to freak. doing a pretty good job. I start with the other lady this evening. I still have to see how much I will be working with her. It seems like she has a full time person already. So, I am waiting to see what happens next. It seems like the boss is going to follow through with the money. I have to sign a waiver. I've decided to save alittle more before I buy something. A friend is giving me her beater to use till her kid gets out of rehab. So I won't be forced to buy something out of desperation.

I am feeling exhausted. I really didn't sleep very well. I don't feel worried, just kind of stunned. Just when I think things are going to settle down, they don't. I am sick of the highs and lows. Of the uncertainty. I do not do well when not in a routine. I feel kind of lost. Didn't walk yesterday morning. Only rode the bike once. Didn't feel like eating.....shocker. I did what I always do when I feel like shit, I sleep.

So.....I will walk this morning. I have to go for a long bike ride to have a friend's lawyer hubs take a look at that waiver before I sign it. Then I will start with the new lady this evening. Feel like I am just faking it......till I make it.

Have a good weekend.................keep the mood and the food real

11 comments:

  1. I hope you have a calm day, Dana - I know it's hard when things are so up in the air, but from the outside, it looks promising. Nice that you are getting a car to use; I think it shows how much you mean to your friends.

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  2. Fake it - yes!
    But with faith that it will work out fine!

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  3. I'll just echo what Shelley and Anne have said. Try not to freak out - you don't have to be perfect each and every day. If a bit of extra sleep is the worst of it, then I think that's pretty darn good. You'll come out of this looking rested and refreshed at least.

    I am so sorry to hear about Ozzie being hospitalized and the loss of that job. Tough on all of you. I am glad you are getting the use of the car.

    So I ask this question, what can you do today, that first, does no harm, and second, brings you a bit of peace, contentment or happiness? Do that thing. You may have to fake it the other 23 and a half hours, but find something that takes you out of your head, even for just a bit.

    You are doing great, Dana. Handling a tough situation with grace and dignity. Hugs to you. Have a wonderful weekend.

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  4. Sorry about your little couple, hope he is ok. Glad you will have a car again for awhile. So happy you will get the money from the exboss too. Hope the new lady goes well. Sounds like you're hanging in there. *hugs*

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  5. I am so sorry about your patient. I hope he gets better.

    Keep plugging along!!! Things will turn around. Take care of yourself!!!

    Hugs!

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  6. "hugs" i'm so sorry you have to go through this! Keep you eyes on the light at the end of the tunnel and never give up.

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  7. Yea, you are definitely getting the raw end of the deal of life right now. But, you got some bright spots (grandabby!!) and of course all of us!!

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  8. Highs and lows do suck and hopefully the lows will disappear for awhile. Take special care of yourself and do try to get enough sleep. Being exhausted is no fun. I remember being there through some of my major lows and my brain started to feel like cotton wool. I couldn't even think after awhile. And it will reek havoc with your eating habits. Good idea, fake it 'til you make it. You're such a sweetie - tie a knot in your rope and hang in there.

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  9. still thinking about you.
    how went the weekend?

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  10. Sorry to hear about your troubles. I'm afraid I lack much in the way of practical advice... Getting adequate rest is crucial to my sanity & I'm sure very important to yours (pot, meet kettle) - so whaddaya doing, posting at 3:45 AM?!?

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