Friday, October 1, 2010

I need a routine

It's so early. I went to bed very early last night. My little job is no more. The hubs was taken to the hospital and so my little patient was taken to a care center. Trying not to freak. doing a pretty good job. I start with the other lady this evening. I still have to see how much I will be working with her. It seems like she has a full time person already. So, I am waiting to see what happens next. It seems like the boss is going to follow through with the money. I have to sign a waiver. I've decided to save alittle more before I buy something. A friend is giving me her beater to use till her kid gets out of rehab. So I won't be forced to buy something out of desperation.

I am feeling exhausted. I really didn't sleep very well. I don't feel worried, just kind of stunned. Just when I think things are going to settle down, they don't. I am sick of the highs and lows. Of the uncertainty. I do not do well when not in a routine. I feel kind of lost. Didn't walk yesterday morning. Only rode the bike once. Didn't feel like eating.....shocker. I did what I always do when I feel like shit, I sleep.

So.....I will walk this morning. I have to go for a long bike ride to have a friend's lawyer hubs take a look at that waiver before I sign it. Then I will start with the new lady this evening. Feel like I am just faking it......till I make it.

Have a good weekend.................keep the mood and the food real


  1. I hope you have a calm day, Dana - I know it's hard when things are so up in the air, but from the outside, it looks promising. Nice that you are getting a car to use; I think it shows how much you mean to your friends.

  2. Fake it - yes!
    But with faith that it will work out fine!

  3. I'll just echo what Shelley and Anne have said. Try not to freak out - you don't have to be perfect each and every day. If a bit of extra sleep is the worst of it, then I think that's pretty darn good. You'll come out of this looking rested and refreshed at least.

    I am so sorry to hear about Ozzie being hospitalized and the loss of that job. Tough on all of you. I am glad you are getting the use of the car.

    So I ask this question, what can you do today, that first, does no harm, and second, brings you a bit of peace, contentment or happiness? Do that thing. You may have to fake it the other 23 and a half hours, but find something that takes you out of your head, even for just a bit.

    You are doing great, Dana. Handling a tough situation with grace and dignity. Hugs to you. Have a wonderful weekend.

  4. Sorry about your little couple, hope he is ok. Glad you will have a car again for awhile. So happy you will get the money from the exboss too. Hope the new lady goes well. Sounds like you're hanging in there. *hugs*

  5. I am so sorry about your patient. I hope he gets better.

    Keep plugging along!!! Things will turn around. Take care of yourself!!!


  6. "hugs" i'm so sorry you have to go through this! Keep you eyes on the light at the end of the tunnel and never give up.

  7. Yea, you are definitely getting the raw end of the deal of life right now. But, you got some bright spots (grandabby!!) and of course all of us!!

  8. Highs and lows do suck and hopefully the lows will disappear for awhile. Take special care of yourself and do try to get enough sleep. Being exhausted is no fun. I remember being there through some of my major lows and my brain started to feel like cotton wool. I couldn't even think after awhile. And it will reek havoc with your eating habits. Good idea, fake it 'til you make it. You're such a sweetie - tie a knot in your rope and hang in there.

  9. still thinking about you.
    how went the weekend?

  10. Sorry to hear about your troubles. I'm afraid I lack much in the way of practical advice... Getting adequate rest is crucial to my sanity & I'm sure very important to yours (pot, meet kettle) - so whaddaya doing, posting at 3:45 AM?!?


Tell me what you think!