Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Put your heart into it!

I can't believe it's been a week since I posted last. Had a very low key weekend. I kind of hid out. Went to church, but just for an hour. The back of my legs had pins and needles going through them. Last week was productive. I filled out a motion to dismiss on my charges and files them on Wed. Me, myself and I. Well I couldn't have done it without my sister. She put me in touch with a young layer willing to stop by a Mcdonald's and look over my "work" and gave me some good suggestions and the confidence to move forward. I have been on a real job interveiw for an office mananger. They said they would call. We'll see. I will have to wait 90 days (at least) before I hear anything about my motion, but I am going to get that resume out there and really put my heart into it.
My heart hasn't been into the whole job thing. I think that I was hurt more then I realized by my past employer. I know they were weird, but I loved them like parents. Crazy ass parents. I was devastated when they were able to live without me. Both professionally and personally. Then I go to work for that couple and they don't like me. For no good reason. Same has crazy old man that fired me. I must admitt my confidence has been in the toilet. All I wanted to do last week was sleep. I walked, clean Miss H's house, blah blah blah. If I was home I was in bed. That's why I tried not to be home. I am depressed. It's official. I have good days and bad days. I would like to have great months and day...singular. Oh....what a dreamer I am. I guess I will make a Dr. appointment. I don't want to, but, there it is. I feel achy even. For no good reason. Still, I am lacing up those sneakers and walking the out the door. Haven't walked with my buddy for a day or 2 so it will nice to catch up.
I don't want it to seem that life is crap. Cause it isn't. It's good. My son and DIL are in escrow on a house just a few minutes away. I told them I promised not to be a Marie Barrone. I get to go out and watch the kids tonight. Overnight.
My room mate is here as well. I think she is still "really" deciding if she wants to move in or not. I think the other woman she lives with is pressuring her. If it happens it happens. She had surgery yesterday so she stayed here last night. I will be surprised if she really moves in. I had made peace with having her as a room mate and have really embraced it. However, I won't be disappointed if she doesn't. I will find out within a day or 2 for sure. It'll be time to put her money where her mouth is. If she doesn't follow through I won't consider it again. Not with her anyway.
Weight is up. No surprise. I was looking at everybody's fittbloggin pics. It looks like a really fun time with lots of swag. Holy cow! Wish I could have bought Mrs. Survival's ticket she was trying to get rid of. It would have been a great experieince. Maybe next year.
My heart goes out to everyone that has been effect by this crazy weather of late. The pics from Joplin Missouri is jaw dropping. All the video is. The power that caused all that mess is mind blowing to me. It just reminds the power of God....or the Universe or what ever you call your Higher Power.
The sky's the limit! I will continue to force myself out of that the bed. I don't need to isolate. That's when the old noggin attacks me. Going to make it a great week!
Keep the mood and the food real..............
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5 comments:

  1. Best of luck with your petition, Dana.

    Any sort of rejection just plain hurts - no matter the source -and it can really do a number on one's self-confidence. But you are keeping on, doing the next right thing. You've handled all these obstacles with such grace and dignity. So what if your weight is up, you are handling some difficult situations. As those resolve themselves, everything else will fall into place. I'll continue to hold your situation in my thoughts.

    From: Roxie - blogger is being STUPID today

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  2. Hugs. I'm so sorry you're depressed. I'm finally coming out of mine and it's been several months. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make everything wonderful for you.

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  3. Praying for you girl. Depression isn't easy. Seek whatever help you need my friend. And in the meantime, I challence you each day to do two things. Find 1 thing pretty in your world...one thing that is gorgeous. And the second thing.....do one thing each day for yourself. Even if it's something as simple as painting your toes. It's baby steps..but do it! It works! Fake it till you make it.

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  4. Hold on and remember that you are loved!

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  5. Dana, I'm sorry I missed this post. Know that I'm thinking about you - being depressed is no picnic. Been there, done that, taken the meds. Hang in there, my friend.

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