It's Up To Me
Yesterday turned out to be an okay day. I haven't really talked about my friend that I am staying with. She is 68 and has just gotten married to her late cousin's hubs. The cuz has only been gone 8 months. Needless to say this has caused a lot of drama for her. His kids are mad, and don't hold back. Luckily they don't live in this little town. Her sister was best friends for years with this cuz and she is SO MAD at my friend that she refuses to talk to her. Even though they go on the same retired group trips and they live with 3 miles of each other.
I am very happy for my friend. She has been single since her hubs died 15 years ago and they really do make a cute couple and seem like very good companions. He treats her very well and he is very kind to me. It is his basement that I am staying in. He doesn't know me from Adam.
I have been going between the 2 sisters. I haven't said a word about my friend to the upset sister, but yesterday she started crying and saying that she will never talk to my friend again. This makes me kind of feel weird. I love them both. The sister is very controlling and can be kind of mean....who can't right? She has ALWAYS been a dear to me, but I have seen her come unglued and it's not pretty. She just seems so sad. She has lost her best friend and her sister. It's her choice though. I want to shake her and tell her to stop it, but that isn't my place. When I was there yesterday I felt uncomfortable and felt like there was such a contentious spirit in the house. She literally hates her hubs. The poor guy had a stroke a few years back and it's like she feels like he has punished her. I want to be her friend while I am here, I feel bad for her. But I don't want that energy around me. I am trying to be positive here!
Yet I couldn't make myself go over there this morning. I was going to go over and help her get her house ready for company. HOLY HELL. That place is STUFFED with junk. I really feel like her stuff is weighing her down. I suppose I will go over later. I don't want to hurt her feelings.
This got me thinking about my own problems. I got thinking that I am grateful for my own problems. If you put everybody's problem in a barrel, you would probably grab your own back. I try not to hate. Just feeling resentment makes me uncomfortable. I try to get along and not be contentious. I hate to argue, though I have been known to, of course. I always try to put myself in the other persons shoes. I probably am a people pleaser, though I have gotten better. If I love you I will try to make you happy.
I love the sister. I would like to make her happy. Yet, I know I can't, that's something only she can do. I am responsible for my own happiness as well. I know that I am willing to do what it takes to be happy. I really am positive, happy person. I am so grateful for that!!
So my problem seemed like such a small thing after I left there. It's all about perspective. I have a family that loves me and I love them. I had parents that I knew without a shadow of a doubt loved me. Even if I was a juvenile delinquent. They always tried to lift me up not drag me down. The sister told me yesterday that her mother used to tell her when she was a kid that she was a "fat girl". Then "playfully" punch her in the gut. REALLY?? WTH?? My friend said she did the same thing to her when I talked to her about when I got home. I wanted to weep for both sisters. Just too damn sad.
So today is about being grateful for all my blessing. I have wonderful sisters! I can count on them to have my back. I hope your are reading this Sis........I love ya!
I am walking up a storm. Drinking lots of water. Eating was better yesterday. I am partaking in the good food that my friend's hubs make, but not over doing it. He said it was ribs with fruit salad for diner. I am trying to keep the food thing in perspective. I have a much bigger "fish to fry". Like the reason I am here. I weighed myself before I left and will weigh again when I get back. Like I said, I feel good about my choices and am doing the best that I can. I can live with that!
Keep the mood and the food real.................
I am very happy for my friend. She has been single since her hubs died 15 years ago and they really do make a cute couple and seem like very good companions. He treats her very well and he is very kind to me. It is his basement that I am staying in. He doesn't know me from Adam.
I have been going between the 2 sisters. I haven't said a word about my friend to the upset sister, but yesterday she started crying and saying that she will never talk to my friend again. This makes me kind of feel weird. I love them both. The sister is very controlling and can be kind of mean....who can't right? She has ALWAYS been a dear to me, but I have seen her come unglued and it's not pretty. She just seems so sad. She has lost her best friend and her sister. It's her choice though. I want to shake her and tell her to stop it, but that isn't my place. When I was there yesterday I felt uncomfortable and felt like there was such a contentious spirit in the house. She literally hates her hubs. The poor guy had a stroke a few years back and it's like she feels like he has punished her. I want to be her friend while I am here, I feel bad for her. But I don't want that energy around me. I am trying to be positive here!
Yet I couldn't make myself go over there this morning. I was going to go over and help her get her house ready for company. HOLY HELL. That place is STUFFED with junk. I really feel like her stuff is weighing her down. I suppose I will go over later. I don't want to hurt her feelings.
This got me thinking about my own problems. I got thinking that I am grateful for my own problems. If you put everybody's problem in a barrel, you would probably grab your own back. I try not to hate. Just feeling resentment makes me uncomfortable. I try to get along and not be contentious. I hate to argue, though I have been known to, of course. I always try to put myself in the other persons shoes. I probably am a people pleaser, though I have gotten better. If I love you I will try to make you happy.
I love the sister. I would like to make her happy. Yet, I know I can't, that's something only she can do. I am responsible for my own happiness as well. I know that I am willing to do what it takes to be happy. I really am positive, happy person. I am so grateful for that!!
So my problem seemed like such a small thing after I left there. It's all about perspective. I have a family that loves me and I love them. I had parents that I knew without a shadow of a doubt loved me. Even if I was a juvenile delinquent. They always tried to lift me up not drag me down. The sister told me yesterday that her mother used to tell her when she was a kid that she was a "fat girl". Then "playfully" punch her in the gut. REALLY?? WTH?? My friend said she did the same thing to her when I talked to her about when I got home. I wanted to weep for both sisters. Just too damn sad.
So today is about being grateful for all my blessing. I have wonderful sisters! I can count on them to have my back. I hope your are reading this Sis........I love ya!
I am walking up a storm. Drinking lots of water. Eating was better yesterday. I am partaking in the good food that my friend's hubs make, but not over doing it. He said it was ribs with fruit salad for diner. I am trying to keep the food thing in perspective. I have a much bigger "fish to fry". Like the reason I am here. I weighed myself before I left and will weigh again when I get back. Like I said, I feel good about my choices and am doing the best that I can. I can live with that!
Keep the mood and the food real.................
The sister is just standing on her 'principals'. Its hard to get past that. One day , hopefully soon she'll just be glad that her sister is happy and that she found someone to love after 15 years and that loves her back.....life is really to short to stand on principals....Best wishes my friend....walk softly but carry a big stick! LOL! You'll find a way to subtley knock some sense into them. And if not well its not your job. Your job is you! All you can ever do is your best!
ReplyDeleteMy very bad childhood.... I never doubted (and always knew)
ReplyDeletethat my Mother loved me. Go figure!
And isn't it good to know that people really do have your back!
You're doing great!
I'm so sorry that you are stuck in the middle between your friend and sister. I think the route of just keeping quiet about it is probably the best. Your doing fine juggling them.
ReplyDeleteYou are totally right...EVERYONE has problems...it's how we deal with them that makes us different!!!!