Thursday, June 23, 2011

To the Best of My Ability

I can't believe it! I can post again. I am getting ready to head out of town for a couple of weeks. I am going to the middle of no where ( Blanding, UT you'll find it ) I am struggling with my addiction and need to hit the road to get my head on straight. I picked Blanding because I don't want to replace a substance with food. There is no, none, fast food places. My friend has a garden and I plan on eating from there. I was clean for about a red hot minute and I gained 100 lbs. I don't want things to go that way. I want to focus on things of a spiritual nature and myself. I plan on doing lots of reading and meetings. I know that I will get a handle on this. While I was in Utah my sister's hubs gave me a blessing that left me shaking. I have no doubt that I have the faith required to stop. If I wait a while the substance will be legal here in AZ. I don't want to depend on it though. I want to lead a healthy, no smoking, lifestyle. It did serve me well while I was loosing weight. It took the place of the food right out of the gate when I stated loosing my 100 lbs. First I ate the feelings away, then started I smoked the feelings away. I am scared, but I do fill full of faith. I do not want to screw up all my weight lost. I do want to get back into the temple though too. My church leader has been nothing but supportive. He has known for about a year. My kids have known for a long time too. This is just a mole hill. I climbed the meth mountain and won. I can do this. I have already stopped. I want to stay stopped. That's the hard thing. When you shift your focus off weight loss it's hard to start again.......same thing. Just like any new habit, the more I say no, the easier it gets.

I was planning on leaving this morning, but I need to do a few more things around town to get ready to be gone for 3 weeks. Plus, my friend is going to be taking a bus trip ton Moab and wants me to go. I do not want to. I will dead after driving 7 hours. By myself. I got a few books on CD. Plus, I have This American Life on my phone app. I LOVE that radio show. The app has a bunch that I haven't heard.

I am excited to get out of town. The heat is about to kill me. 113 is too damn hot. UGH! I went walking the past few days. This morning I did not. I had an upset stomach during the night and was up for about 2 hours. I did get back to sleep, but feel like I want to stick near a bathroom for today. I took my car into get serviced and I was happy to hear that "Miley" is in perfect shape. It was a good buy.

I am anxious to get back to blogging. I need to vent and I need your feedback. The title of this blog is weight loss and other addictions. I will discussing all my addictions from now on. Not just the food aspect. I know that blogging was a great way to loose the weight. I am sure it will help with this. I am going to return to doing things To the Best of My Ability!

Keep the mood and the food real.............

4 comments:

  1. So glad that you are able to post again. My wish is that you find the peace you are looking for. With love and hope, Roxie.

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  2. Hey Dana, email sent. Big hugs to you (and I'm glad you are able to post again!).

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  3. Thinking of you Dana and wishing nothing but the best for you.

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  4. Good to see you being able to post!
    You can do it! And we're all here cheering you on.

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