So it's Wednesday. I am done with school. Got straight A's. Pretty proud of that. I am still deciding what to take next semester. I am going to take my transcripts in from years ago and see if the transfer. I hope my math does. I suck at math. Actually, I don't know if I like it or not. I don't remember it :)
I have 3 jobs this week. Today I am going to take a lady to do some errands. Tomorrow is 8 hours in a car to go to the north pole. My daughter was laughing at me when I suggested staying overnight. She didn't realize how far the trip was. Who's laughing now? It will be fine. The kids have lots of devices and I will probably do some driving. My SIL has to work the next morning. We won't be home till late. I am going to work at 9 the next day. That's not early, nor will it be all day.
I am watching what I am eating, however, it's not been the best. I am not really tempted by sweets. I don't really like them. I am more of a stuffed baked kind of girl. I made a big batch of chili and have been eating on it for the past few days. So eating hasn't been too bad. I haven't been walking as much as I should. It's been wet and cold. I have been reading lots of blogs and I see that I am not alone. Lots of the bloggers that started when I did have gained back some of their weight. Bottom line, it's hard to maintain a healthy lifestyle all the time. Some days you feel it other days, not so much. Being a recovering drug addict, I am well aware of the chances of relapse. You are more likely to stay in remission of cancer then you are to stay clean for any real length of time. Relapse is part of recovery. It doesn't have to be. I haven't relapsed on meth for the past 11 years, but my addiction has taken me in other directions. Food, to be exact. I am still 80 lbs lighter, but I have about 40 lbs to be where I should be. I have gained back about 20 lbs. Not happy about it, but it's the way it is.
I have decided not to beat myself up. I have made great strides this year in other areas of my life. I feel better now then I did when I was 30. Much better about myself and life in general. I get to decide what I want to be when I grow up. I am scared shitless. Weird right? I want to treat it like it's a great adventure, but inside I am fearful. What of?? Who knows, failure? It's just fear of the unknown. That's ok too. Starting over at 51 is kind of scarey. What counts is I am doing it. I don't know what the future will bring, but I know that I can handle it. I have great family and friends that will stand by and help me.
Keep the mood and the food real.............................