I am feeling tons better. I went out to the kids house andspent the night with the Gkids. Little Z boy cried the entire night. Nobody really slept. I woke up with him the next morning at5 and he wanted to play ball. So we did. The other kids got up early too. Too early. When my son in law came home from working overnights he was so mad everybody was up. My daughter woke up cause they had to get some lab work done before they could change life insurance companies. I decided to take the kids all morning, out. We sat at the McD's for 2 hours. They could play on the jungle gym thing they in there for hours. Then it was to a regular park for another couple hours. Ran around with them. Brought them home fed them lunch put them in rooms for some"quiet time". My daughter woke up and was so grateful to be able to get some sleep.
I took off after that. Rode home ate some dinner and went upstairs to watch The Grapes of Wrath. I was asleep 15 mins into the movie and slept straight till 6 am. That never happens. Church was at 10 am instead of our regular 1:30 pm. I am not gonna lie, I love church but we rotate time blocks every year. When the block starts at 1:30, that's the year I miss a lot. Ususally because I have aeaten myself sick before one. Sad but true. Especially lately. Then I don't want to go anywhere. Who says food isn't a drug? It does the same damn things to me that drugs used to. Makes me isolate, makes me feel shame, once I have started a binge it's super hard to pull back and stop doing it.
This week has started every well. I went to church. I got all my Tuesday home work done by Sunday evening. I went to help out my young mother yesterday morning. I went out to see an old friend that I rarely visit anymore because I just can't afford to drive clear out there. I love her so much. She grounds me and help me sort my feelings out. She usually likes to go to a fancy place to eat (we did ) but I just had a salad and half a cupcake. Drank lots of water. AND.....I walked yesterday. No need for pain pills. I really have to be careful of those things, I only taking Tramadol, but I am sure I could find a way to abuse them, being the good little addict I am. I started to like the opiates a little too much, it's been a thing for me. I never let it get crazy out of control, but I just start to feel uncomfortable. I know from past experience when I start to feel a certain feeling, it's over. I need help. I got my hair done yesterday too. Lots of red! Love it! I needed something different.
Oh and I got a call from a temp service!!! They a needing payroll people. It wasn't really my thing at the old office, but I will try anything. Everyone has their own system they uase. I am going to relax and say a prayer before I go in there that the Lord will sharpen my mind, that I might be able to grasp the concepts easily. I am saying the same prayer each time I start my Spanish work. I seems to make things easier, at least I feel that way. Sometime I am so silly and forget that I can ask Him for help, on anything. The Lord really does make all the difference. The interview is tomorrow. So say a little prayer for me, would you?
I have classes today. I am prepared. You know, you really can't hold a good (wo) man down. I knew I would redound. That I would feel happy again. It's always a cycle for me. I just have to roll for it.
I weighed my self and I am down around 8 lbs. Makes me fell so much better. I knew it was all water retention. So I will continue to press on.......having a perfect brightness of hope.
Keep the mood and the food real..................