TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY

I got this original title from Roxie. I thought it would be a good idea to get my last weigh in for the year. I weighed in at 205.4 lbs. That is up almost 25 lbs. I am starting to feel my giggly bits again. I can see it in my eyes too. I was comparing ( never really a good thing to do ) last years pics with this year pics. My eyes start to disappear when I smile when I put on weight. There are some pics were you can't see my eyes at all. Sad, it like I disappear. In a way I do. I was feeling pretty bad about it this morning. I woke up feeling fat. I ate Mexican food again last night. Still feeling full. ICK. I was reading Leslie's blog and she was saying how how could tell the difference in her thinking by just avoiding junk food. I have really noticed that same thing. Since I have been eating crap I have felt like crap. I am not as energetic. I can't make a decision to save my life at times. It's like I can't think straight. some of this may be my age and being a w...

A picture is worth a thousand words. The look on my face says it all. I had a great Christmas. I was opening the Kindel the kids got me. I am loving it. Reading the new Davd Sedaris book. Pretty good. I haven't really looked at all the extras on the Modern Family dvd yet. So far, they aren't anything special. Getting my hair done this morning. It's raining and blowing. Think I will pass on the early morning walk. Maybe after it gets a little warmer. I am suppose to have the day off. Still have to go in this morning for a few minutes. I plan on going out to my daughter's today. Got to get me a Gkid fix. Don't know what we'll do. I am going to take back some "gifts" I bought myself. Stuff I decided I didn't need. I need to go get new glasses. I lost my other pair. It had been about a year, so I am due for a new pair. I never go too expensive, cause I have a long history of loosing glasses. Usually if I don't look too hard ( i.e. fixate ) things w...

Good night's sleep in my own bed. Walked over 3 miles at dawn in brisk weather. The sunrise was glorious this morning. Suppose to be rainy and cold all day. Went food shopping and have started some laundry and getting reacquainted with my house. It felt weird to not really know what was in my fridge. Feeling great today. Didn't over eat yesterday but I have found this really good Mexican place right down the street. UGH! Ate just a chicken taco, but still. My kids gave me Modern Family for Christmas. I had a marathon yesterday and didn't a thing but go back and forth to work. Some days it's like that. Tomorrow I am going to get my hair done with my sister. Haven't seen her much this visit so that will be good. This is quick, but I am trying to get back into the habit of posting more. It really does help me focus and stay on track. Happy Hump Day. keep the mood and the food real............

Christmas was wonderful. I went crazy organizing right before the holiday and in the process made memory boxes for my kids. It was a great idea. All their 1st grade homework, artwork and other stuff goes back to them. It was a hit and I feel more organized. I love it when it's a win/win. The kids gave me a Kindel and I have been too busy to even really play wit it. My sister is in town from Japan and work is still crazy. My Little Lady's family is hiring people to give me a break. I need it for sure. Tomorrow is a day off....suppose to be. I have been doing over nights and everything. Food has been fair to poor. I am holding at 200 lbs. It's all I can right now. I have been trying to just recognize when I am eating when not hungry. Mindless eating with all the treat around. Over all I feel I've done ok with the treats. Not too many, My daughter didn't buy candy. Her kids have bad teeth and so she just doesn't bother. Plus she is trying to loo...

My SIL, Cassie, Livi, Me, Tracy and Mary My girls~! Had a great weekend. 1st of all let me say the yes indeed I can do anything for a week! 2nd of all I am so damn glad it's over. Tonight will be the 1st night sleeping in my own bed for over a week. Last night I did an overnight with my other lady. It was a breeze. Still, an air mattress is not my own bed. Had great fun with my late hubs side of the family Saturday. They are wonderful to my kids. He is my son's father, but his entire family treat Cassie like she is blood. They are very sweet. Too bad I couldn't have appreciated them when my hubs was alive. Addiction, it robs you of LOTS. Anyway, that's what all the pics are from. When I look at the pics I can see that 15 lbs I gained back from last year at this time. I also see a happy woman. Really happy. Genuinely happy. And grateful......you can...

Putting together a couple of good days. Not perfect, just better. No Drive Troughs ( loved that Anne /Grace) and I walked yesterday morning 3 miles and I am getting ready to do at least 20 mins of walking after I post. The 20 min trick.....hoping it turns into more like 45....lol I love this 20 day thing Roxie is doing. I wish I was doing it with her, but alas, I want to do it when i am not so stinkin busy. I want to give it the attention it deserves. I have made a point of recommitting to showering and grooming everyday since Roxie started her 20 Days. I makes a world of difference. Amazing what the small things can do for your emotional well being. Has made me really think more, not just react. Love it when that happens. Just wanted to check in. I do lots better when I post something regularly. Still madly busy, but happy! Had a nice dinner with my son and DIL to be. I have exceptional kids. Not to brag. Whatever...lol. Hope everyone's had a great Hump Day! keep the mood and the ...

Wake me when this week is over! I have now gotten myself in alittle over my head. The Little Lad is requiring alot more care. It double my money, but not my pleasure..... lol . I start with her around 5 AM. She had now gotten in the habit of calling at 9 PM to tell me she can't get back to sleep. Well, thanks now I'm awake. To top it off I am traveling about 60 round trip everyday to sleep at in someone else's bed to do dog sitting for a week. So I will be so happy happy when money is in my hot little hands, until then then , well I am just sucking it up. I have to make money when I can. Old people do not last forever..... lol . I love her and her family. It is still hard. I need to give up some of the green and get someone to cover one day a week for me at least. I KNOW THIS. But this too shall pass. I can do anything for a week! Food is still crap. Drive thru every night. WTF ??!! Like it's some kind of reward for killing myself with work. Stupid! I only walked 2...

I love the new family pics Cassie had done for her Christmas cards. I will share some more through out the month. They all turned out awesome! I know what I'm getting for Christmas! Look at those adorable kids......am I BLESSED or what??! Doing ok. Both of my ladies are getting alittle worse. It's hard to watch people decline, but I am glad I can be there for them and their families. This morning Ann said "How did Heavenly Father know I needed you"? Made me proud. This kind of work is really sacred, I think. I think Heavenly Father gave me a talent. To help those dieing and their families. Now if only I could make a good living at it. It does take a toll on me though. Remember last year at this time? Mr. 92 died. Always takes my mind off my own problems. Just what I need. I am sure I am a little depressed, but will work through it. My food has been way off. Crazy off. Still walking most every day....5 out of 7 for sure. My sister is coming from...

I had a great day yesterday and the day before. Food was wonderful and I got in my morning walk before 6AM. Now that's what I'm talkin about!! I went to a mall Christmas shopping. I never do that EVER. Didn't buy anything, but I am going back get a couple of things I wasn't too sure about before. Look at me thinking before I buy. Now there' your Christmas Miracle! Tonight I am going to see a friend's daughter in A Christmas Carole. It's a Community College production. Should be fun. I just might get out my tree this week. I think I will wait till later in the month for my Temple Lights party. Christmas shopping is almost done.....so happy about that. Still working hard to really get the mojo back. Some days are better then others. Walked and biked yesterday. Planned ahead and did well. Hiking is on the list soon. The weather has been B.E.A.U.tiful. Too nice to sit in your house and be depressed. Forced myself to get out there and enjoy. It really has helpe...