TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY

Yesterday turned out to be an okay day. I haven't really talked about my friend that I am staying with. She is 68 and has just gotten married to her late cousin's hubs. The cuz has only been gone 8 months. Needless to say this has caused a lot of drama for her. His kids are mad, and don't hold back. Luckily they don't live in this little town. Her sister was best friends for years with this cuz and she is SO MAD at my friend that she refuses to talk to her. Even though they go on the same retired group trips and they live with 3 miles of each other. I am very happy for my friend. She has been single since her hubs died 15 years ago and they really do make a cute couple and seem like very good companions. He treats her very well and he is very kind to me. It is his basement that I am staying in. He doesn't know me from Adam. I have been going between the 2 sisters. I haven't said a word about my friend to the upset sister, but yesterday she started c...

Kind of feeling stuffy and achy today. Tummy sounds like it might erupt. Woke up early. Walked 2.5 miles. Uphill the last half. I am really feeling the altitude. Doing some reading. Just finished the new John Sandford book Buried Prey. I love Lucas Davenport :) Better then some of the last ones he's written. I love the ones with Virgil Flowers too. Gonna start the Stephanie Plum book. Working on some recovery stuff. Going to a meeting tonight. I am missing my kids and Gkids. I thought this morning that I should be home looking for a job. Then I realized that this is more important. Looking for an excuse to home....maybe?? The old noggin is messing with me today. Maybe the honeymoon phase is over. Food has been ok. I went with my friend and her hubs to Cortez yesterday. They took me out for Chinese food. That left me feeling swollen and reeking of garlic. Glad I sleep alone. Didn't over do it though. Stopped when I started feeling full. Drinking a ton o...

Ok....I must say that this is a hard one for me. Right now I feel like I am in the honeymoon phase. Everything seems new and wonderful. I am on a self imposed retreat and I don't have the day to day worries or temptations that I would have at home. I realize this. I also know that I have a long and difficult road ahead of me when I get home. This time to reflect and get back to some kind of "normal" is a gift. I have been doing much reading and meditation. Prayer is a must for me. Faith and confidence go together. I do have confidence that I can do this. I have confidence that I can do it and not gain back to 100 lbs I lost. I just have to do the work and make choices that will take me were I need to be. I know what I need to do. I have lots of people that I can rely on. I am really grateful for that. In the end it is ME who has to the next right thing. Am I scared. Hells yes. But I will not let it consume me. I refuse to let anger and resentments rule...

I am so grateful to be here with my dear friend. I was thinking today just how many things I have to be grateful for. My kids and Gkids. My sisters. My parents. My sweet, sweet friends. My church family. All have been a source of faith and strength to me. Both in real life and here in cyberland. I appreciate all the comments and the facebook emails. I agree with the comment Helen made. All I want is some peace. I think I have come to the right place. I went to the reservoir this morning. It was cool and beautiful. You can see AZ, NM,and CO from the rock I was sitting on. I want to be able to carry this peace around with me always. They fixed waffles and strawberries this morning. Yummy. Walked my 5K this morning. My legs were killing last night. Actually my entire body hurt. Didn't get to sleep till after midnight. It is to be expected. I can do this. I forgot to mention that my Brother in law gave me such a powerful blessing last Sunday that I was shaking. It has ...

I made it and I have internet. They have the entire basement fixed up for me. So nice! I was road weary yesterday. It was a 7 hour drive, but it seemed that the time flew by. I listened to podcasts of Joyce Meyer ( love her ) and podcasts from the Mormon channel. All were very inspiring and made me boohoo, a lot. Then I started listening to the book The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. I already read the 2nd one but can't remember a lot about it, so that doesn't ruin this 1st one for me. I also read the Hunger Games recently. It was good, but kind of intense. Wasn't expecting that from a young adult book. Don't think I will read the rest. The temp for my 3 MILE walk this morning was 60 degrees! SIXTY DEGREES! I am in heaven. I plan on doing it every morning. I am anxious to get going on my recovery handbook. I feel a lot better just knowing that I am doing the next right thing for myself. I really do feel this is were I need to be and that it won't ...

Well it's just after 4 am. I am getting ready to go to Blanding. I am ready. I got my car fixed. I got a recall that said the air bag could deploy and throw metal shards in me. Yep, got it fixed. I love long car rides. Even by myslef. I can do nothing but think. I brought the books, but I feel all insulated. It's just me and the story and the car and the scenery for hours. It's kind of nice. I will be on and off with the computer. I don't know if they have wireless. I might have to go to the library to post. That's ok. I am looking for some peace. I know where my peace lies. It's with my Heavenly Father. I am going to look to a Power Greater then myself. I have the faith. I am going to do my part to. I have an opportunity take a look at me. I have a recovery workbook that I plan on working while I am there. I am going to include to food as a drug, cause to me, it is. Do I want peace, a decent job?? Do I want the spiritual rewards that c...

I can't believe it! I can post again. I am getting ready to head out of town for a couple of weeks. I am going to the middle of no where ( Blanding , UT you'll find it ) I am struggling with my addiction and need to hit the road to get my head on straight. I picked Blanding because I don't want to replace a substance with food. There is no, none, fast food places. My friend has a garden and I plan on eating from there. I was clean for about a red hot minute and I gained 100 lbs. I don't want things to go that way. I want to focus on things of a spiritual nature and myself. I plan on doing lots of reading and meetings. I know that I will get a handle on this. While I was in Utah my sister's hubs gave me a blessing that left me shaking. I have no doubt that I have the faith required to stop. If I wait a while the substance will be legal here in AZ. I don't want to depend on it though. I want to lead a healthy, no smoking, lifestyle. It did serve...

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I still can't post from my computer. I must have a virus. Going to get it fixed this week. I am going to a friend's house for a few weeks to get away from things. I just got back from seeing my sister in Utah. It was rainy and in the fifties. Hated coming back to hot. I had a very spiritual experience while I was there. I will go onto more detail when I am not posting from my phone. That still drives me crazy. Walked this am, despite the heat. I have had a nervous tummy so food hasn't been a problem. Anxious to get away. Anxious to get back. I am struggling with my addiction. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I know this is quick and vague. Sorry. I am trying to keep up with all of you. Commenting where my computer will let me. Keep the mood and the food real! Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.1

Blogger is being crazy. I still can't publish anything from my computer. Ugh! I am doing good. Walking everyday. Eating still out of whack. Still maintaining my weight. I loved Shelly's post today. I have plenty of time to work on me. I could be doing the same thing. If anyone has any ideas on fixing Blogger please let me know. Still keeping up with all of u. Keep the mood and the food real. Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.1

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.9