TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY

What the heck?! I need to blog more then once a week. It's just kind of reflection of how I have been feeling. The "blues" remain. I was more productive last week. At least it seems that way. I am alot more active then my new room mate. Of course she just had bladder surgery the day she moved in. So she hasn't set the bar very high :) I will use any excuse to feel better about myself. I am more active then a woman who just had surgery. Go Dana! Kind of pathetic. Had to laugh. Something that didn't make me laugh was my weight. A new high in the regain. 208.6 lbs. GULP. Reasons?? No good reasons, but here's a few. New room mate. Had some car problems that freaked me out about money. Turned out it was just brakes. Sigh of relief. Some other money worries and some other personal stuff and well, I used food. I bought food to eat for comfort and then I did. Didn't make me feel better. I find that I am allowing myself..(when I say this I...

I can't believe it's been a week since I posted last. Had a very low key weekend. I kind of hid out. Went to church, but just for an hour. The back of my legs had pins and needles going through them. Last week was productive. I filled out a motion to dismiss on my charges and files them on Wed. Me, myself and I. Well I couldn't have done it without my sister. She put me in touch with a young layer willing to stop by a Mcdonald's and look over my "work" and gave me some good suggestions and the confidence to move forward. I have been on a real job interveiw for an office mananger. They said they would call. We'll see. I will have to wait 90 days (at least) before I hear anything about my motion, but I am going to get that resume out there and really put my heart into it. My heart hasn't been into the whole job thing. I think that I was hurt more then I realized by my past employer. I know they were weird, but I loved them like parents. ...

I was quite excited to read this morning that my most favorite books are being made into a movie. The Stephanie Plum books are finally being made into a movie. One for the Money. The author Janet Evanovich has written I think we are on 16. They probably need to wrap up the series. She needs to decide already. I am a fan, but seriously. Katherine Heigl will play Stephanie . Sherri Shepard ( The View ) will play Lula. Debbie Reynolds will play Grandma Mazur. Two HUNKS that I am not familiar with will play Joe Morelli and Ranger. It comes out in January. They are predictable books, but Ms Evanovich is so funny. My most fave is #7 Where Steph has to get the old guy's heart back. Anyone else love these books. Your thoughts?? Scales are up a wee bit. UGH! New room mate will be moving in this week. Still trying to convince myself that this is going to be a good thing. AND, it's not forever. Walking but eating crap. Not drinking enough H20. I am a in a "let...

WOW! Week flew by. I wasn't even that busy. I was able to pick up another house cleaning job and then I took the woman to do errands. She was very nice and generous. And CLEAN! It was so nice to just have to shine up a home instead of digging it out. Miss H was sick so no more pick and shovel house cleaning this week. I was able to do some errands for her instead. I stayed fairly busy. I really need to get into school. I am tired of working my ass off. It's hard work to clean house. Especially big homes. I don't mind working hard, I just wish it was more mind work then physical work. As always though, I am grateful to just have the opportunity to make some dough. I have made another hard decision as well. I have a friend from NA that needs a place to stay for a couple of months. I have know this woman for 10 years, though we did loose contact for a few years. She has remained clean for the last 5 years. She has had some health problems and her other room mate moved back to ...

Monday, Monday. I wish I had a job to go to this morning. Well, I do. I am going to Miss H's house a little later this morning. I just wish it was something steady. Enough! Be grateful you have a place to go to make some dough and smile Dana! I had a nice day yesterday. I turned out that the class was empty yesterday, so I didn't have to teach. Guess I will have a lesson ready to go for next month. I went out to my daughter's house. We told each other we weren't doing gifts. Well someone forgot to tell her hubs cause he got both of us a pedicure. He is the sweetest kid. The roast was delish. Then we went for yogurt. Yummy again. I just got a small Mango Tango. Then it was home early for some mindless TV. I got a season of Designing Women and have been laughing my butt off. Those ladies were really funny. The clothes and the hair really take me back. I have been up since 4:30 and have manged to get my little place cleaned up and I am waiting for the kids to bring their p...

Happy Mother's Day! I am so grateful for my kids and for being a mom. My kids have taught me so much. I am a much better person because of them. I am missing my mom today. I often wonder what our relationship would be like. What my life would be like. I was never clean for more then a red hot minute when she was alive. I wasn't an easy child. It started when I was very young. I cut the neighbors long pig tail off with the lawn clippers. In my defence she did ask for a hair cut. Ran away from home at age 4. Went to the store and filled up my wagon and walked out. Who knew you had to pay money? I still think that system sucks..lol. I know that she loved me, but I was alot of work. She took my daughter for 6 years when I was deep in my addiction. My daughter is a better person for it. I love my Mother. I miss my Mother. I know that she is still an influence in my life every single day. Sometimes I can feel her with me. Almost like is a part of me. Which, of course she is. She wasn...

It seems like this week is flying by. I had a Ggirl for an overnight Tuesday night. Lots of fun. Went swimming for the 1st time this year. That suit really sucks me in. I can still breath so I guess I am ok...lol. I had ice cream with the Ggirl. It tasted good. Too good. Made sure I just bought a small amount. It's gone.....long gone. I have been walking alone. Buddy has had ome knee problems. I have used the time to just think. I have to teach again at church on Sunday. It's kind of stressful. I have yet to really prepare. I am sure it will be fine. I have been listening to the subject matter for the lesson. I just need to put it together. I was up on the scales this week. Not surprised. I abought a Groupon for a month at a gym with 3 personal training sessions. When I decide to stop pussy footing around I will redeem it. I have to do by the end of the year. I hope I don't wait that long :) I am feeling better emotionally. I have worked 3 mornings at Miss H(oarders)'s ...

The pic is Carson reading to his new baby brother. Too cute! Good days and bad days. Working my butt off cleaning houses for old people. Bring on the gloves and the masks. Old people have alot of stuff. ALOT!! I am chiseling away at the hoarder's house. She knows she does it, but can't let go things. It's sad. She can't even use her kitchen. I think I would much rather have a food addiction then an addiction to stuff. I cleaned a woman's fridge. HOLY HELL! I was drenched by the time I was finished. That was hard FREAKING work. I am walking every morning again. At least 3 miles everyday. Food is alright. I could do much better. I am staying away from the drive thru and eating more greens and fruit. H2O is much better has well. Last week I pretty much hid under the covers. It was a chore to even get dressed. I really let getting let go hurt my feelings. I was so depressed. Looking AGAIN for another job. It exhausts me. This week I seem back to my old self. I still don...