TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY

Great day. I got so much done. I was very pleased with all my efforts. Went to Sprouts and got lots of fruits and veggies. Cherries...I love cherries. I have really thought about something that TJ said the other day. She loves her food. Who wouldn't love her food, right? She says that is a major factor for her success. So I have decided to take my time, figure out what I like, make lists, planned ahead and prepare my meals with reverence. Thanks to Roxie for that post. Been thinking about both posts. It really rang true. I bitch cause I don't know how to cook. Well, who's fault is that?? I am worth the extra time and effort and money to fix good for me food. I got lots of exercise cleaning this morning. Then I decided to walk in my neighborhood. It was alot cooler, but DAMN it was humid! I was drenched by the time I finished. I was going to go to the office and walk on the treadclimber. I decided not to even set foot in that office this weekend. I don't want to risk any...

Thanks for all the lovely comments. Seriously, it's like having your own cheering section. I did very well yesterday. Drank a gallon, plus some of H20. Still having serious bags under my eyes again this morning though. I am holding on to the H20. I refused to let mind wonder. When I do that my self talk becomes crap, and then so does my mood. I am having serious memory issues. Loosing things. Laying them down and forgetting 2 seconds later where I put it. It was an afternoon where were simple things were hard. Just finding the damn van keys for one. Anyway, I laughed through it and pressed forward. Rode the bike to work, in the RAIN! It has finally rained here in the desert. Besides the wet stripe up my butt and back It was marvelous. I am just finding the show Boston Legal. I watch while on the treadclimber. Pretty good, think I will watch another this morning. Food was right on. And by that I mean I ate real food. Still overeating some, but at least it's cantaloupe and not th...

I have been up since 3 AM. I went to bed really early last night. I had a better day eating yesterday and drank an entire gallon of H20. I got in 40 mins on the treadclimber and really worked up sweat. I decided to get on the scales this morning. I saw 200.2 staring back at me. I got that sick feeling in my stomach. That's up 3 lbs in 3 days. I got to thinking that this is how this weight came back. QUICKLY. I am not going to freak out. That never helps. I was reading about Bitchcakes reaching her goal. She had 2.5 years where she didn't loose or gain. Then she recommitted. Then goal. See how that works, when you work it. This is all up to me. I have been feeling out of control food wise for along time now. I have gained almost 20 lbs back by eating just little bit more and moving just alittle bit less. Not by eating ice cream or fast food or calorie filled crap. Nope that would have been too obvious. The disease of addiction is very subtle when it has to be. It started out by ...

I am without any tech entertainment at home. First my internet went out last night. I watch all TV on the lapop now days, except news in the morning. Then while I was putting my laptop in the bag this morning at 4 am I hit something on the remote and now my TV is out. I just shook my head. I called my son last night to come see what's up with the internet. The cable company said it's something on my end. Probably something easy, but since I know nothing about computers, it's beyond me. So I cleaned out a couple of closets. I was at work by 6 am. Rode the bike to work this morning. I have a confession. I have gained almost 15 lbs. I got on the scales this morning and was shocked to say the least. I am hoping that if I will just push the H20 and get back to work that it will come right back off. I have been stress eating. ALOT> Using food. Falling asleep way too early. I feel like I am hiding out. When Roxie told me to entertain more, I almost had an anxi...

I had a pretty good weekend this past weekend. Saw some movies, Salt and Despicable Me. Liked them both. I called my daughter asked which kid she wanted to get rid of. The 4 year old of course. Man that kid can talk. And eat. He was a pretty good distraction. I knew if I was alone this weekend I would probably go into a self induced food coma. I skipped church. The Gson was not having it. I really didn't feel like fighting it. We went swimming and watched Harry and the Henderson's. Cute movie. Then we made the little meatloaves. His most fave. He probably ate 5 of them. The kid is skin and bone. Eats like a horse. God bless him. No walking yesterday. Saturday was just short walk. My buddy needed to cut it short. I got in another 20 mins on the treadclimber. Felt like I was working harder, much harder. I am walking on the treadclimber for the rest of the week. Both buddies are taking this week off. I feel like I will get a better workout this way. I ...

I woke up in a much better frame of mind this morning. Took the time to get spiritually center. Some reading, praying and meditating. This is a must for me. It doesn't happen every day, but I do try. That's why I think I like to up so much earlier then I really need to be. I like to do that before I head out the door to walk. Both buddies bailed on me this morning. So I rode the bike to work. I turned up the Ipod. I am LOVING the Glee soundtrack. I was bike dancing most of the way in. Come on. You know you've done it. Singing and bike dancing. Luckily there is no one on the streets at 5:45 AM. Great way to start the day. I am cooling down before I jump on the treadclimber. We just got wireless ( I know ) so I brought the laptop with me and I am going to watch The Closer. The only redeeming thing about summer is Brenda Lee Johnson. Work will be busy again today. I have felt real tired by the end of the day. Going to try to stay in the moment and enjoy m...

I woke up with a sick feeling in my stomach. TCB ( the crazy brain ) is working over time this morning. I feel so nervous and upset. About what?? I haven't a clue. I am worried about work again. I wish I wouldn't do this. It is unreasonable. Luckily it was my morning to visit the good doctor. Felt much better. I am really going to work on not taking things personally. That's my home work. I assigned it to myself...lol. Work was crazy again today. I will be glad when school starts and things calm down a bit. Everyone is tense. Since the state of AZ is broke they have drastically reduced our funding this year. No one got a raise, but everyone got to keep their job. They have added classrooms to try to make up the difference. That means lots of construction. Remodels really bring out the best in people....NAUGHT. Anyway, things were much better today then yesterday. For sure. Luckily they have plenty of kids enrolled, but you never know till you see the whites o...

Sometimes I cause my own stress. My sisters are coming for a visit the 1st of August. My daughter wants to have her baby shower while they are here. I'm all for that. So why I am resisting? I am over thinking and over worried about this little shin-dig. So what do I do? What I do best. Nothing. It drives my daughter crazy. This will change. Today. The invites will be going out and some food decisions will be made. This doesn't have to be a big deal. I am making it a big deal. I want to do something extra nice cause it's for my kid, but also, my sisters will be here too. Yes, I might want to impress them....pride? Oh yes. I got on the scales this morning and was down 2 lbs since this weekend. I was happy with that. I am sucking down the water. It's so FREAKING hot here. Both walking buddies bailed on me this morning. I sucked it up and went out and got in almost 4 miles. I was drenched by the time I got home. Listened to some inspirational podcas...

Yesterday didn't turn out like I thought it would. One of the Ggirls had the runs. So swimming was out. I did have a good time. I kind of felt exhausted. They are only 3 and I forget there is 2 of them. Only one of me. I ate too much. Those little girls are relentless. They want to be eating 24/7. So I gave in. It sucked being cooped up in this house. UGH! Then had the kids bring dinner to me when they came to get the girls. Nothing terrible. Still. Too salty. I am feeling the extra weight now. I didn't walk yesterday morning either. In fact I didn't get dressed all day. I was never a stay at home mom. Much a job for me. Hardest job EVER. That's why God decided a woman should do it. I can see why you would never make it out of your jammies. Anyway, I was exhausted and went to bed early. Very early. Woke up in the middle of the night. Ate. This is not good news. Nope, not at all. Why am I doing this now. I don't want to backslide. Ther...

Got the day off to a good start. We walked over 3 miles this morning. 96 degrees at 5 am. UGH! Anyway. Ate healthy brekkie and am now getting ready to start working. No really. I am. Brought fruit for snack today. Now if I can just stay away from the frozen Jr Mints in the freezer. Tossing them right after I finish here. Going to push the h20 today. Not drinking enough water. For sure. I have been feeling very snacky this past week. I walk into this office and all I want to do is eat. UGH! It's got to be an emotional thing. Who knows. Who cares. Just don't give in to the munchies! Or if I do, munch on something healthy. Something real. Having the Ggirls over a sleepover tonight. Excited about that. We are going to swim and watch movies. Paint our nails and do our hair. They love to comb my hair. As long as they don't pull too hard I let them. Have got meals planned. Snacks too. They have already called to ask what time they can come. It's...

Well I have another very busy, very hectic day. Still at work. Playing a waiting game with the irrigation. I got on the scale this morning. After I tried on a pair of pants that fit fine 2 weeks ago. Very snug. Have gotten back up to the danger number on the scale. Everyone has that number. The stop crapping around number. Lose it, or else number. I am confidant that it will come off. It's getting harder to loose it as fast as I did last year though. Granted, I am not putting my all into it this summer like I did last summer. So I have gone to the food store. Lots of fruits and veggies. Planned some meals. Filling up H20 jugs. Ready for my attack. I have pooped around in this general scale area for about 6 months now. I planned on taking a break from weight loss. I wanted to maintain for a while. Give my head a chance to catch up with my body. My son is getting married in March. I want to loose 25 lbs by then. It is doable. I am starting to feel that I can ...

I just heard on the news that being obese makes you stupid. Something about points on the obesity scale and your brain function. Do I believe it? No. What people won't spend money on.

Ok this is going to be a long post. With lots of pics. I am bored so I decided to upload some trip pics. To recap I went to Blanding, UT for the 4th and then headed off to San Diego the same week. This 1st pic is very spooking. Really. The Whalley House in Old town was named one of the 10 most haunted houses in the U.S.A. Or so says the Travel Chanel. Anyway I took this right before the tour. We were the only ones there. I KNOW! I didn't a flash, but come on that is a great story. The "ghost chaser" had a vortex meter and everything. Very legit. Or so said the 14 year old who really, really wanted to go. It was fun and he really told alot of history that I didn't get the next day when everyone was around. This was in Balboa Park. Everything was closed but the buildings alone were worth the trip. Works of art. Lot's of museums. Gardens. A great place to just wander around. Especially cause it was 65 degrees. SIXTY FIVE degrees. Yes, I want ...

Julie from Julie's Lost and Found http://julielostandfound.blogspot.com/ was sweet enough to pass this Life Is Good award. I suck at following rules. I love so many blogs that I just will refer you to my blog roll. I was surprised by the award. I don't fee like I have been expressing Life Is Good in my posts lately. Too much bitching and moaning. So Thanks Julie. Like Roxie I will ask you to think of every reason that your life is good. I have lots to be grateful for. Great Family and Friends. A job. I love my church http://mormon.org/mormonorg/eng/ . It really does give my life purpose. Grateful for the life I have today. Compared to life I had 15 years ago. SO MUCH BETTER! Grateful for my willingness to improve my life. All areas. Physical. Mental. Spiritual. Tell me one thing your grateful for. Something that you don't always think of. Remind me why Life Is Good! Keep the mood and the food real...............

I had such a great time with the Gboys. Swimming twice in one day. A trip to a salad buffet. What kid doesn't like all you can eat anything. Then off to the library for as many FREE videos as we could carry. Who cares if they never watch them. I take them back in a week no matter what. It's fun. The 6 year old sat at the computer and learn to use the search engine and then found the book When I dropped off the boys my Ggirl was so excited about coming next weekend she grabbed her cheeks and shrieked with joy. She was almost shaking! I don't care who you are........that makes a GeGe feel like like a million bucks! My daughter gets a weekend all to herself. Her hubs is taking the boys to Cali with him and I am taking the girls. I know just what she'll do. SLEEP! I am ready to get back to work. This last week of friends, family and fun has reminded me that crazy people make me crazy. Sometimes just being around like minded people brings you back to a sen...

Here is my A.Dor.Able new purse. I love it. I am going to try to put together an outfit and model it real soon. I am having tummy problems. Gas pain that wakes me up. I have eaten too many GasX in the past 24 hours. I guess I am going to have to get a doctor appointment. Anyone want to diagnosis me. Maybe some home remedies to get rid of this?? UGH! I haven't been walking since I've been home. I am just too tired at 5 AM. Then it's too hot. I did ride my bike to work, but that's it. I have been eating alot of food out. That's the way it goes when your on vacation. I was down about 4 lbs last week. I just jumped on the scale to assess the damage and was happy with just a 2 lb gain. No walking and salty food. Yep, I'll take it. Time to get back to basics. The Gboys are coming over for a sleep over tonight. My son will be dropping off his car pretty soon. It is overcast and alittle rainy, that won't stop us from swimming. It is still 91 ...

Just checking in. Had a super fun time in San Diego. Lots of driving though. Back to work today. Busy. So busy. Not worried so much about work. I really needed these little trips. Came back in a more reasonable frame of mind. Sometimes I am too close to the forest to see the trees. Not sure what the hell that means. I think it means not seeing the little things that make up the big things. My dad used to say it. It made me smile. I do feel like I am seeing things less personal. I am seeing some self esteem come back. Not self worth. That never changes. It's God given and He loves me as much as He loves you. Esteem depends a lot on what others think about me. Am I enough? Am I letting them down? Am I expecting too much? Am I thin enough? Pretty enough? Getting back to what is most important. I am grateful for sweet friends that know how to lift my spirits and love me warts and all. This past week wouldn't have happened without them. Nothings changed, b...

My dear sweet friend and me. I took care of her hubs till he passed away. I love this family so much. I don't know what my life would be without them. It's no exaggeration. We are at the cemetery visiting his grave. I had such a nice weekend. One of the best 4 ths of my life. Well I am back home. It was a quick trip with lots of driving but I had such a great time. I walked the Blanding UT 5K Saturday morning in about 40 mins . I wasn't even dead last...almost, but not quite. Then the parade. In the evening we went to a melodrama. Complete with booing and hissing the villain. They even sold popcorn to throw him. So cute. Then a fantastic firework show. I never go the the fireworks anymore. It is just too damn hot here in the desert. So this was a treat. We were sitting right under them too. Loved it. I was shocked by something while I was there. I refused to eat eat fast food. I truly did not want to eat crap. No milkshakes and onion rings. Just a bite of someone else...

I'm from Phoenix! I read that on a bumper sticker when I 1st moved here 25 years ago. It still rings true. It was 113 degrees yesterday. Another extreme heat advisory today. At 4:30 AM it was 90 degrees, and it is humid. I guess the Monsoon has arrived. We still manged a 2.5 mile walk this morning and I rode the bike to work. Glad I have a ride home! It is too damn hot to wear a sweater to cover my unsightly upper arms. So I am letting them just hang out. The longer I expose them the less uncomfortable I am about them. If other people don't like, well that is just too damn bad. It's funny how you can get over things, if the motivation is right! I am going for a hair cut today and I need to run some errands to get myself ready for my little trip. I have noticed that for the past few weeks I have had a hard time just BEING. I am having a hard time staying in and enjoying the moment. I hope a little break from my routine will help with that. Trying to anticipat...