TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY

I don't want this blog to be a downer...so I didn't post yesterday. I am feeling so funky from that stupid zoloft ( or really lack of it ). Good thing I know this won't last forever. It's almost like I've got tracers today. ( don't know what tracers are...ask ) NEVER NEVER NEVER again will I take that stuff. I feel like a whinner. UGH.. My knee cyst is giving me fits too. I guess in order for the cyst to go away, I need to have the tear fixed. DANG IT. I am so afraid that if I get the surgery I won't get back into the groove of walking. Plus there is the whole pain pill thing too. I have been doing so good. Every day WALKING. I feel like I need a good cry. That usually makes things better. Maybe I will watch a sad movie and cry about someone else's problems. OK Whinning DONE! OVER AND OUT. I am eating so much better this week. I am not as hungry and my H2O intake is rockin! I am eating a good breakfast. Taking the time after my m...

I still manged a 1.4 lb loss last night at WW. I know it's the walking that is saving my butt. I will take the loss and will continue to improve my food choices and increase my H2O. I still don't drink enough water, and I love H2O. I went food shopping at Sprouts after the meeting and got some more waffles ( they really stayed with me yesterday morning ) and some pop chips, love those things. I also pick up some celery....I ate some at book club and it was so sweet, almost like candy. I am hoping that mine is as good. I bought a pricey watermelon last week and it was no good. I hate that. Waste of money! No word on the houses yet. It's going to be a little bit longer of a process to find out. Both houses have a few bids. I am going out again tonight to look at another one. I am bound to be a home owner! I can wait. When I have a backyeard I am going to have a garden. I am feeling better and better about moving. Not as scared...at least not right this m...

It's hard to go back to work after such a nice weekend. But here I am. I have been cleaning and filing all morning. Getting ready for an anual audit here at work. I want things to go well, and to be able to find things. I feel much better knowing that I have done my best here at the office. I told my landlord that I had put bids in on a house. He was very nice, and told me he hoped I'd get it. He is my boss too...lol. I went back over and looked at the houses yesterday when I took the boys home. I am really anxious to see what happens with the bids. I should hear something on one of the houses today. I was up at 3 am this morning. I went to bed very early last night, I was on a binge and wanted to stop the madness! I can't sleep in, but I can go to bed early to make for it! I was pooped anyway since I didn't sleep well with the 2 boys kicking me out of bed the night before. I got alot done this morning around the house and then got 60 minutes of walking...

Had a great evening last night with my grandsons. We had spagetti dinner ( their favorite ) and then watched a movie all of us in bed with popcorn. Turkey spagetti and lite popcorn. They didn't even know they were eating healthy! I had made a bed on floor for the 5 year old, but somehow in the middle of the night I was kicked out of my bed to the bed on the floor. It was the only way to get some sleep. I was up my usual time, the butt crack of dawn, and was waiting for them to wake up. We had Kashi waffles, turkey bacon, and strawberries. Then we headed to the bird park. We somehow managed to lost, again. ( I secretly like to get loss, then I get in more steps ) By the time we were almost back to the car, the 3 year old refused to pudge, so I had to carry him. They both said they were ready for a nap.....what a laugh that was! I took some pictures this morning and thought I would share them. I will admitt I binged yesterday....but on low cal healthy stuff. I did however get to th...

My sweet friend Nadine passed away at 11 am. I will miss her so much, she has been such a big part of my life for 2 years. I know that her sweetheart of 65 years was there to meet her and they are having a happy reunion. I love you Nadine.

I woke up at 4 am and decided to start on the house, saying I would only go for like an hour. It is amazing what you can get done in an hour...ok probably closer to 2 hours by the time I stopped. What did I do, well.... 1. cleaned kitchen, mopped, swept, clean out the fridge, straightened cupboards 2. clean out drawers and closet in got rid of fat clothes. 3. got the laundry ready to go and started. 4. changed sheets and deep clean bedroom. Then after I was done with that I went for a 3 mile walk! I feel so FREAKING good. I almost sat down and cried this morning after I finished cleaning. It makes me feel so much better when everything is in it's place. If only I would keep it like that. I still have to do the bathroom, but that will be a breeze. then I am going to go to the movie this morning. $5 movies before noon. I am going to see The Soloist. Then over to see my Sweeet Nadine. The sweet little old lady that I have helped take care for 2 years is unresponsive and not eating, so...

Still no sign of the cats, but the food is disappearing. So I think it's safe to assume they are still alive.

Okay, this really isn't weight loss realted, only in the sense that I was on my walk when this happened. My neighbor asked if I would look after her cats while she is away this week. I said yes, even though I don't know her very well, and she is a ...well a "cat woman". I had not been there since Monday. While I was there this morning, while I was on my walk, I didn't see any cats. She has 4. So I was kind of freaked out. I don't want to be the neighbor that killed the cats....so I went looking in the apartment for signs of kitty. When I went in her room to look for them I was SHOCKED to see HUGE WALL PAINTING OF A CAT. If was like something you would see in a B horror movie. I was waiting for the walls to bleed ( insert scream ). Anyway, last time I do something this neighborly! Plus, the place smelled so BAD. How does someone live like that. Not that I judge ( whatever ) Food is good, on plan. I had a small dish ( 1/2 cup ) of low fat forz...

Good morning! I was up and out the door to walk this at 5:30 am. Walked about 3 miles with my neighbor and had a nice chat. What a great way to start the day! I have a NSV to share ( I found out what that ment ) I am fitting comfortably into a size 18, and really can't wear my size 20's anymore. I have to keep pulling them up! So yea! I need to go the food store. I really hate to go. However, I do like to eat. Tracking is going better, and I am OP. Trying to drink at least half gallon of water today. I am putting an offer in on 2 houses so we'll see what happens. I switched realtors and this kid is a go gettter! I called the other guy yesterday, and he still hasn't called me back. This kid has already got me into see the homes I wanted to see, plus he will have the offers ready today. Feeling good about the move, still alittle scared, but truly what have I got to loose. One house is just one street behind my daughter. She is excited too. Today I feel confident in me. It...

I am in the 230's. Yippee! I knew that I hadn't loss 5 lbs. My daughter's scales are wrong. I am happy with the number. I am down a little more then 25 lbs in 8 weeks of Weight Watcher's. I am going to track better this week, I still don't track very well....I just eat alot of the same things over and over. I know that my tracking is going to have to improve. Maybe I should do it online. Anyway, I am going to move more, and drink more water. The water really gets the shaft over the weekend. I am going to look at another house tonight. Then spend some time with my daughter and the grandkids. Best get dressed, I am going walking in about 15 mins. It's getting too hot to walk in the afternoons. It was 97 degrees yesterday. It's almost time to swim! I need a new suit! have a good Tuesday........I will do the same.

These are the grandsons at the older one's adoption. Javi and Carson (left to right)

I just found out how to do pics. Here are my granddaughters, Tatum in the highchair and Alivia in the dress. They are just the sweetest sisters.

My coworker thought I looked extra skinny today....no I don't sign her checks! Here it is. I don't really see a difference, but you be the judge. I did buy a new bra, and I'm still hanging low....SAD.

I had a nice weekend. It's getting hot here already. 100 degrees within days. Dang it. I am not ready for the heat. Went walking on Saturday and Sunday. My knee seems to be bugging me a bit. I just strolled through the bird park with my grandson Sunday morning, went for mile. He loved it! He was such a good boy for his overnight. My daughter decided to stay home and paint, so I didn't have to sit. I just took my 5 year old grandson home. I went to church yesterday, but I was dripping in sweat. I left early. Nobody else seemed that hot. My sweating problem really can effect my life. It is embrassing to have the sweat GLEAMING off your face and down your back. My hair was soaked half way up the back of head and running down my back yesterday. I am waiting for my Seven Plus juice to come in the mail. Maybe today. I really think it helps my knee and my hot flashes. I felt alittle tense and anxious yesterday afternoon. I felt exhausted after church, so I just na...

Well it's the end of another work week. School is almost over. It is going to be sunny and warm today. NICE. I went out and looked at houses last night, took the kids to the park, while my grandson had his footbal practise. I was so upset. I lost my new pedometer. ON THE 1st DAY using it. My walking buddy gave it to me. It wasn't a cheap one either. I looked and looked, but no meter. So I am going to buy a new one, so she doesn't find out what a dope I am. My fat roll kept popping it off my pants. DAMN IT. I was over 10,000 steps too. I loved using it. I ran again last night, further then I did the other day. IT FEELS SO GOOD! So far so good with the knee. I went to my little church get together last night. Women only! So nice. I love my church! Different women brought a shoe that ment something to them. It was so inspiring!! Everyone has a story. Nobody lives an ordinary life.....nobody. I love the thought, it allows me to be kinder to those around me. Sometimes I forget t...

I walked before and after work yesterday. I walked about 5 miles. I was quite pleased with myself. My knee was feeling funky this morning. I didn't go walking before work with my friend, but I did just put in time on the teadclimber here at work. It was kind of cold this morning. Ate very well yesterday and stayed OP. I still need to increase my water, but overall I am feeling really good about my efforts. It looks like the house next to my daughter sold. Dang it! I will continue to look. There are quite a few bank owned homes out there in her neighborhood. Bad for them...good for me. I am feeling good today. No anxiety. It feels great. I want to remember this, cause the bad times will come back around. So does the GOOD TIMES! It's one eternal round! I am going to try to keep the good mojo going. I think increasing my activity has alot to do with my emotional health. I am going to see my grandkids tonight and I am going to try to go to church function tonight too. Be happy!

I ran alittle, very little, this morning.....and I didn't die. Who knew?

Well yesterday was a great day. Walked 2 miles before work. I am going to get a pedometer. What is a good one? That way I will know how much I am really walking. I ate well yesterday, everything OP. My son had a great B-Day. A sweet friend, whose family owns the school made him a double chocolate cake. I did not budge. I really do not like chocolate. He was in heaven. We sang happy birthday. He got like a million litle kid hugs and lots of pats on the back, I work for awesome people! I am so grateful for that! We went to a park for a bring your dinner and then he had another cake. It was kind of last minute, and just a few people came. He was so totally happy with his day. I thought he might have taken today off so he could go out and party with his frineds, but he was in bed by 9 pm. He has to get up at 5:25 am every morning. He is a great kid, and I am a lucky mom. I have so little worries with either child. I was noticing last night how easy it was for me walk aro...

I miss seeing Annette ( Annette's Awaking ) Does anyone know if she is ok...Annette we miss you!!

I weighed in exactly the same as last week. EXACTLY! I was ok with it. I was very ok with it. I was careful last week what I ate, and I still didn't write everything down. I kept a running total in my head.....and I try not to stress about it. Cause when I do that, I eat. I was looking at this book Think Like A Thin Person. Thin people don't freak about everything they put in their mouths. Anyway, I know I am not thin, and I do have to be careful, but I think that stressing out about eating, adds to what ever eating occurs. This seems to be working ok for me now. I am maintaining my walking and my knee seems to be ok, little bit sore this morning. I am drinking water, but not enough. This week I will do better. The scale will move DOWN next week, so let it be written, so let it be done. ( yes I watched the Ten Commandments over the weekend ) It looks like the house right close to my daughter's has had lots of offers above the asking price. That's ok, it's got me l...

Well my daughter called me last night and said that the house down the street from her is for sale. For a killer price. I have never owned a home, and the thoughts of the process really frighten me. I HATE change. I moved last year into a nicer townhouse, but still haven't even hung pictures. It doesn't feel like home and I hate the stairs. So I think that I am going to try to do this. I am kind of excited! I will have to set up some ground rules with my daughter so we don't drive each crazy, but I think this could work! I am going to call my friend and get the ball rolling. I know that I can count on my kid's to help me thru this process. I really am scared, but you know what, I am going to try anyway. What's the worst that could happen, I can't get a loan? Ok, but at least I tried. In weight watcher news, I had a pretty good weekend. Busy! I walked Friday and Saturday, skipped yesterday and will walk on the treadclimber this morning. Last chance workout before...

I had a great day! Had the day off, woke up early and walked 3 miles. then I came home and cleaned around the house and then got sucked into TV. Did anyone else watch Oprah today, or yesterday for that matter ( I didn't watch yesterday ). I was shocked! Those of you that watched will know what I am talking about. I heard the word masterbation more in the few minutes it took me to find the remote, then I've heard at one time in my life! The show was really a good thing, cause it forced me to get out the house this afternoon. So I went and washed my car, cleaned it inside. Then I went and got a diet soda and then went to Barnes & Noble and read magazines, and just looked around. Then I had my hair appoinment, and my hair looks pretty good, if I do say so myself. The girl at the salon even asked me if I was thinner! How sweet...I did of course double her tip...lol. Tonight I am going to sit with my sweet Nadine. My old lady friend, that I love to death! Her daughter is going o...

Good day yesterday and today. Stayed really busy at work, I am feeling better about the job front. It's out of my control anyway. I am just feeling better period. I have eaten well, and have been walking alot. I went 3 times yesterday with 3 different friends. I was nice. so yesterday I probably walked 5 miles. Knee is holding up good. I went to Sprouts last night and got some fruits and veggies and fish. YUM. I am going out to my daughter's tonight to watch the grandkids for about anhour then and fix scallops for my daughter and myself. We'll see what the kids want to eat. Getting up and walking by 5:45 makes me feel great! I am up at around 4 am everyday, and so that is great for me. I have the day off tomorrow and the rest of the weekend. Lots of walks at the bird park for me. I am alittle bit afraid about my weigh in on Monday, the day after Easter dinner. I will be careful, I really don't like chocolate, but I do love me some rolls, and green bea...

I am at work early today. By 6:30 actually. I even walked with my neighbor before I got here this morning. Not too far, but I did. I will walk on the treadmill again this morning. I did yesterday also. I did ok yesterday, went out for lunch and dinner, but made good choices, and watched my portions. I am kind of feeling pressure at work. Mostly self induced, again I love to worry. Well that's not true, I have a love hate relationship with worry. Anyway, the end of the school year is coming up, and with the budget cuts the state is making, schools are having to reduce their workforce. So far so good with the schools I work for, but I can't help but worry. I have tried to make myself indispensible, but I know they will do what they have to do. I work in the money end of running the schools, so I know what they are up against. Maybe that's why I worry more. Who knows. I am making a goal to really try to live more frugal and to TRY to save some money. That way ...

I wrote last night that I was shocked by my weight loss this week. Well, I was alittle, but then I got thinking about it, and well, I did try hard this week. I walked everyday, and I did track.......but then when I think that I might have gone over, I tell myself that I haven't, so that I don't blow the rest of the day, week...ect. I felt like I was over doing it with food, but that could have just been in my head. I was so stressed this weekend that I think that had something to do with it too. I am eating basically the same things, so I know I didn't go too far overboard. It's when I FEEL out of control, that I freak, and then start getting thoughts of food, and the ways and means to get more food. SAD. I know that I am really focusing on drinking water too. I know that I need to be doing better, but I am loosing, This will not last forever, I know that. I will have to hone my weight watchers skills, especially the tracking part. I just count my usual points. I don...

Well I was shocked. I stressed out all weekend about my car, so I ate, then I got stressed out cause I was overeating. I was overeating things with less calories, but still. CRAP! I guess the walks really paid off this week. I am going to try to go in the morning before work. Walking around the bird park early when no one is there is a really nice way to start the day. Quiet, beautiful, peaceful. I really wore myself out with the worrying today. Even after the car stopped smoking, I had smoke flashbacks and "thought" I saw smoke. He had to come one more time today to get it right, so I kept worrying it was going to do that again.. So far no smoke. I feel so relieved that I actually feel lighter. Almost giddy, and giggly. Punch drunk, you know what I mean. Everything is funny. Feels good. In other news, I really did enjoy LDS conference ove the weekend. I came away with a deeper desire to do things better. To live a better life. To live more within my means, and to appreciate ...

The car is FIXED!! Now, onward and DOWNWARD for the WI tonight. Whatever happens, it's going to be a great day!!! I have DECREED IT.

Well my car broke down. No money to fix it. I have been depressed all weekend. Feeling tired and anxious. Always freaking anxious. I am going to take the car to see how much it will cost to fix, but I don't have any money left over after bills. I want to set some goals this week. I didn't do very good food wise over the weekend, but I did walk everyday. I guess we'll see what the scales say. I was noticing yesterday that I wasn't winded when walking at the park. I love going there, cause I always get lost, and that forces me to walk further then I might have. lol. 1. Gallon water everyday 2. track food better 3. more fruits and veggies 4. walk everyday. Weigh in tonight, Today is a new day. Thanks to all who left comments. I do need a plan (MIZ) Plan to start the day right, and hope to be able to handle whatever may come. I am reminded that I am not alone!

I was hungry yesterday I did overeat, but I fell asleep early, so it could have been lots worst. The chocolate kisses are gone....in the trash. I do not even like choclate. Well I feel hung over. I slept too long and feel groggy. I am getting ready to go walking at the bird park. I am going to do better today. I am going to drink more water then I did yesterday. I ran out early at work yesterday, so I didn't drink as much as I should. I just couldn't stop eating when I got home. I was caught in the food frenzy. I am glad that I was so tired, I didn't have plans last night. Things have been kind of stressful at work, and I have stressing out. Trying to make it all about me, and it isn't, yet I can make it seem that way in my mind. I guess what I am trying to say is that, I was afraid I was in trouble at work, but I wasn't. I didn't do anything wrong, but sometimes you never know. Things are getting tight. I know the owners are kind of freaked ou...

I am hungry today. I want to eat. I Just got off the treadclimber. 25 mins plus I increased the incline alittle. I was sweating the entire time and it felt great. I did the treadclimber yesterday for 25 mins. Then I went for about a 2.5 mile walk with my friend. I am just so grateful that I am becoming able to do more things. I could walk last night, my knee was good, I wasn't winded and it was a pleasant experience instead of something I had to do. I am hungrier the past couple of days, I have done pretty good point wise. I try to just stay within my points, I don't use activity points. I have been eating at home more, and this is saving me money. Good for me! Emotionally I am feeling better too. I have had a deep feeling of gratiute the past couple of days. That makes or breaks how I feel on any given day. AM I GREATEFUL? I am more likely to treat my body well when I am grateful for it. I am more likely to enjoy my job, when I am grateful for it. I don'...

I had another good day today. Still seem more hungry then usual the past couple of days. Tried really hard to stay on plan. I did pretty good. I must get better with the tracking thing. I think I am going to try the online one that I see on some peoples blogs. I really am computer challenged. Drank alot of water almost 3/4 gallon. I am building up to a gallon a day. I feel good when I am drinking lots of water. I also have noticed that I don't sweat as much either. I have mentioned it before, but bears repeating. I have really bad hot flashes. My hair and neck get soaken wet. It is embrassing and really interfers with my life. I have been back to the bird preserve twice since Sunday. I walked this morning on the treadclimber and then this evening for about an hour art the park. I just ambled around, no hurry. It was nice. I watched Oprah today and she had on Star Jones. She lost like 165 lbs. I didn't realize it was that much. Lots of things that she said...