TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY

I could have thought of a better post title. Oh well. I did weigh in this morning and was happy to see another 2.2 lbs gone. That makes a total of 74.4 lbs. Who would have thought it! This year as been kind to me. This year the holidays have been easier. I am so grateful for all my blessings. The biggest I think is Willingness. Willingness to stick with it. Being willing to give change a chance. I never dreamed that I could have lost almost 75 in less then a year. I am truly humbled. I never really know how the weigh in will go, because I never really count anything. Which is kind of good. I don't get expectations (TRY not to anyway) thinking well I stuck to my diet perfect, why is there no movement of the scale. I have some how hurt my upper arm a week ago while moving Mr 92 up in bed. I thought it was a pulled muscle, it probably is. I really thought it would feel better by now. It seems to feel worse. I will keep babying it for a while longer. I don't want to go to the docto...

I love this picture of my son and myself. We went to the Mormon Temple on Wed night with friends. They always have such a beautiful light display. Wore my Skinny Bitch jeans. Feeling very young and cute. LOL!! I was giving out my Christmas Eve Carmel Popcorn and one of my friend's daughter in law was begging me to stay. Told me I looked too hot to just being going to my daughter's house. That they had 2 men coming over that would be perfect for me. WHAT? YIKES! I beat it out of there. Just cause I put omn alittle make up and dress up DOES NOT instantly mean I am looking for a man. Holy Cow, seriously. I have not really given that part of this thing as much thought as I should. I've been single too long. The holiday was very nice. My daughter and SIL were great hosts and the kids made out like bandits. They got me to play rock band. Oh YEA! I ROCK! By the end of the day the kids and adults were damn tired. Whining kids is my cue to help to put the kids to bed and go home and...

YES I KNOW I HAVE THEM BASS ACKWARD! I do not know what the hell is going on with blogger but I can't see the pictures that I posted. Someone had asked me a while back to post a progress photo. Well I was pretty good at not getting any body shots. Seriously, I couldn't find one. This Fat Dana picture was taken last year at Christmas. The cute little family in the pic I am holding is my daughter's family. I look HORRID! I probably weighed close to 260-270 lbs then. I didn't step on a scale back then! I was miserable, in severe knee pain and taking Vicodins by the handful to help with my knee. I really just wanted to disappear. I rarely "groomed". I would shower on the good days. The other days well I went to work in PJs and barely ran a comb through my hair. Thank goodness the people I work for are kind. Plus, she runs around in her nightgown all day as well....still does. Plus I work alone in a home, but still. The thinner photo is of me this past weekend. At ...

I had a totally glorious weekend! Just wanted to check in quick this morning. Things are going well. I am staying crazy busy with Mr. 92 and now Mrs 82 is back home and is begging for me to come back a couple hours a week. Even if it's just to visit. I can not refuse such love. So life is busy. I am not feeling stressed. Doing my best to just stay in the moment and not try to control things. Mr. 92's family has been just awesome. I am only going a couple times a day now, and I had yesterday off. So that was nice. I actually missed him. Took a long walk listening to to music out at my daughter's yesterday afternoon. The weather was BEAUtiful. I rarely listen to music. It reminds me of my tweeking days. I use to sit with headphones on for hours on end. Too bad, cause I love music. I have to me in just the right mood. Church was great too. We had our Christmas program. Saturday was a extra long walk and then my church had a Breakfast Christmas party. We had a great turn out. T...

UGG! I am so stinkin tired this morning. Slept all the way to 5:30 AM. I usually walk out the door to walk at that time. I am not feeling it this morning. Thanks for all the concern about loosing my head and the check. I never did find it. I decided that I was too damn busy to worry about it. After I looked everywhere I called and they canceled the check and I got another one last night. They were great about it. I was embrassed. I am kind of a scatter brain, but it has gotten so much worse in the last few days. I have to talk to the family about cutting back on my hours with Mr 92. I am wearing myself out. When I gained my weight back 2 years ago this is kind of what happened. I put my desire to please and to earn extra money ahead of my healthy routine. I will not let this happen again. I will do what is best for me. Being busy isn't bad....but being so busy that everything else takes a backseat, well not this time, baby! I am going to hit the treadclimber at w...

Am I loosing my mind? I just lost a $320 check. GRRR. Trying to get rid of this crazy brain feeling. grrr. BREATH!

Something just dawned on me. It is a week to Christmas. I still have some shopping to do. I have Carmel popcorn to make. Lots of it. My mother gave out popcorn, this googey soft Carmel popcorn. I have carried on that tradition. It's easy and it's pretty cheap to make. I am not going to get freaked out about what I have to do. I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off yesterday. It was a day where easy things were hard. I went into downtown Phoenix. The 1st try I forgot the check that was to go with the paper work. Ok turn around, try again. Then get over there and drop off the paper work and I find out I had the old paper work and the cost of a daycare renewal went from $150 to $7800. HOLY HELL! I almost died. Arizona is in such financial trouble. This state's money troubles makes me look like Warren Buffet. State employees might start getting paid with IOUs. I work for a school. It's not time to worry yet, however. Just reminding myself....lol. Mr. 9...

Well this morning was the official weigh in day. This morning I was surprised with the number 192.6. I can't believe it! Another 3.4 lbs gone. I have done better then I thought. I love this weighing in the morning thing. What took me so long! I knew I felt lighter...lol. Still very busy with Mr. 92. I think today will be the last day. The family has taken him to the doctor. I would be surprised if they didn't admitt him. Too bad, I think he would much rather die in his chair at home. It is getting harder and harder to take care of him though. Yesterday I thought I had tore up my knee. I got off the treadclimber and then got back on and forgot it was still running. FREAKING OUCH! Feels much better this morning and walked at a slower pace for only 30 mins. My head wasn't in the game yesterday. When I was 17 I gave a baby boy up for adoption. My dauhgter has been trying to find him this past few days, without me knowing about it. I am register at the State...

Good morning to all. I have had a busy past few days. Mr. 92 is still kicking and till he gets moved to a group home I am going to go to his house 5 times a day. Crazy I know, but I was praying for a way to make alittle extra Christmas money. Prayer answered. I love it! It's hard to fit everything in, but so far, so good. It's just till Thursday or Friday. 70 lbs ago I would never have had the energy to do all this stuff! So go me! I have been doing okay with food. Not great, still eating too much processed stuff. I jumped on the scales Monday morning for a premature peek and was happy, but I will wait to weigh again till tomorrow morning and be all official. I hope I can hold onto the loss. Though, it doesn't really matter, cause I feel lighter. I know that seems crazy, but my body just feels different. I was able to wear, comfortably, the size 16 GAP jeans that were my daughter's. They are low ride and kind of uncomfortable anyway, for me, since I usually wear MomJean...

It's been a crazy morning already. Mr. 92's SIL ( my boss ) called me early this morning. Long story short the paramedics have been to his house twice already today. It's only 10:20 AM. I had him in the shower this morning and had to slide him to the floor because he was to weak to stand. So I was one of the calls. It's too bad. They are probably going to have to put him some where to get round the clock care. It's really what he needs, but he will fight it. He is a stubborn and hard headed man. Good luck! I will do what I can. I really could use the extra money right now before Christmas. I am kind of depending on it! Things will work out, they always do. I have done alittle more Christmas shopping and at least have a plan for the rest. I have really scaled back this year. ALOT! I am glad too. Makes me grateful for the gifts I am able to give. This makes me feel alot better, less stressed. I am in a good place this morning. Feeling good, less anxious. More energy, ...

Holy Hell! I am hungry today! I want to eat everything and anything. Luckily I am at work and there is nothing here. I did find some gross little taquitos in the freezer...nuked one. Ate it and now I am feeling like ICK! Don't plan on eating another. My emotions are still all over. Such high anxiety this morning. I was pacing. Over nothing. I was as Roxie calls it, I was "awfulizing". I have decided I am too damn good at doing that. GRR. Anyway feel better. Got myself in a good space spiritually and things got better. I have let my prayers get mundane. I need to get back to "feeling" my prayers. How will I do this? Practice, practice, practice! I did not want to walk this morning. I didn't do my usual 45 mins on the treadclimber, but I did do 35 and then my knee was bugging me. Plus, I just felt like it was torture. Attitude is SO important! I did walk....no excuses. Yesterday was fun. My friend hadn't seen me in awhile and she just kept telling me how g...

Welcome to the 1st anual Dana's Wed Weigh In. I bought a scale last night and they were kind to me this morning. It said 196. So I am back in the 100s. I really want to stay here this time. I haven't been eating good for me foods. Lots of processed food. BOOOOOO! I am feeling it in my emotions and in my energy level. I was so beat this week I tried one of those energy drinks. YICK! Plus it was useless. The scale is down quite a bit, but that is because I had just eaten a huge sandwich and drank a big drink of water just an hour before I weighed last week. Plus I weighed in at night. I weighed in this morning. Plus, it's a new scale. So I am not breaking my arm to pat my own back. I have been pushing the water though and keeping up on my walking everyday. No excuses. I am grateful I have a treadclimber available. It has been pretty cold. I walked yesterday morning, but this morning I am downloading the new Closer and am going to the office to walk. I am...

Thank you to Terie at gatheringmyroses.blogspot.com (for some reason blogger isn't letting me link you to her blog....but check it out for sure!! ) for the Superior Scribbler Award. Sorry it took so long to remember to respond. It's been kind of crazy. I wish I could give the award to all my most favoite bloggers. Instead just look at my blog roll. Thanks Teri!

Well I decided that this year I would put up a tree and some outside lights. I don't have alot of Christmas stuff. I have started over so many times. It's hard to keep stuff that way. Anyway, I put out what stuff I do have. I haven't done that for a few years. It makes me feel alittle merrier! I am really going to make this year different. I am! Today is my Dad's Bday. I miss him so much. He is still near, helping me when I need it. I have felt it. He recieved a heart transplant years ago and it gave him an extra 7 years. I have the news clipping about the accident of the man that donated his heart to my dad. Overwhelming sometimes, when I really think about it. He bounced so many times, I stunned when he didn't pull through that last time. We all where. He was a chemical engineer. A geek, with a slide rule in his pocket protector. He was so witty and funny. When I was little I used to think he must stay up late night amd plan his responses. Li...

I LOVED this post this morning. http://tippytoediet.com/ Cammy said that she hasn't owned a scale in years That when she steps on the scale it's just a moment in time. What she does consistantly is what counts. I loved that it. Besides, it's so true. She said that perfectly! She is also giving away a very nice scale. You might want to check it out. This got me thinking....am I emotionally ready to own a scale? It started yesterday. I am going to change my weigh in day and the time. I am going to have a scale in my home to weigh 1st thing in the morning.....on Wednesdays. The scale used to make or break my day. Now I can just think of it as a moment in time. Most of the time. Attitude is so important, I don't want to screw it up. I am feeling better. I find that as a push myself to do the things that scare me or that I just plain don't want to do, I feel better. Well duh! When I am going through this Crazy Brain stuff I am anxious and scared all the time. It's...

Most of you already know about this blog TJs Test Kitchen http://tjstestkitchen.blogspot.com/ . This Sweetie's blog is awesome. She is an awesome cook. I want to go to her house for dinner. Check out her vlog post. It was real and honest and hit home for me. She says that this journey is hard. I know that it's true. If you don't know about this blog, check it out now. TJ had a small gain this week. This after she had planned, prepared and went without. She was upset. I can relate. I had a 3.5 lbs weight gain this past week. I wasn't shocked, but I was disappointed. I didn't have pie or stuffing or appetizers. I had one meal. As opposed to eating several...throughout the weekend. Which is what I used to do. Still a gain. I am not going to beat myself up over this. I am going to cut myself some slack. It could be a bunch of stuff. Hormones, water retention, had just east a sandwich. The body, she is fickle....no? I have decided that I am going to break down and buy...

Here are some pics from Thanksgiving. I haven't felt much like posting. Just don't feel like I have alot to say. Trying to ride out some Crazy Brain stuff. Sometimes I wish I would just grow up already. I just don't feel excited. About anything. Even my weight loss. I am glad, grateful and humbled, but not excited. I just feel stagnant. Nothing is really wrong. Just feeling at dis-ease. I am not as vigilant about my food as I was. Or water. It's still a hell of alot better then last year. I am not beating myself up. Still walking or biking everyday though. It's the best part of my day! You know, I knew in my head that if I lost weight, it would not solve all my problems. I learned that when I got clean. Just cause I got clean, things didn't get magically better. I wouldn't be magically be happy. It's an inside job. I am the only one that can change me. I wish I wasn't so afraid of change. grrrrr Enjoy the pics......keep the mood and the food real. ...