TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY

This is me with my new haircut. Yes, it does look alot like the old haircut. I am posting this pic, but sadly, I hate my smile. Too big, you can see where my teeth should be. Sad, but true. I was telling my sister this morning that since I've lost weight I can tell just how much my missing teeth have changed my face. Not taking care of my teeth is one of my biggest regrets. Maybe I will win the lottery and get a smile makeover...lol The sweet girl that did my hair is my friend Koe. Anyway, not much else to say. Food is good. Slept late, will walk on teadmill this afternoon. I hate it when I don't get my walk in early. I rarely over sleep. Rode the bike to work and waved the entire way again this morning. Yep, I'm just that crazy. Keep the mood and the food real..........do your do

Without the wrapper it looks alot like poo. Sorry! When I was asking people to help me describe it, everyone said to say it's chocolatey chewy almost like taffy, not as sweet. The ones I buy are half this size and come in a bag of I'd guess 30 or so. I hope this has satified all those from the UK who have no idea what a tootsie roll is. You probably are still wondering what all the fuss is about. I can't eplain the hold they have on me....lol Another evil thing about them is that they are small. They lie to me and say...just one isn't going to kill you. All the kids are doing it..look how small I am....I don't really count... I will admit it....I ate the damn thing right after I snapped the pic. It was such a soft one. The softer they are the better they are....sigh. Tomorow is another day

Well do you want the good news or the good news. That's right my friends, good news all around! Had a follow up with the Dr. about my blood pressure yesterday. My doctor said it's the best blood pressure he has ever seen. Ok, he didn't really say that, but I could tell that's what he ment. Plus he praised me as I have loss 6 pounds since my last visit about 6 weeks ago. Then I go to my weight loss meeting. Let me start by saying that I love my little group. It's just me and 3 friends and one hubs. We cheer each other on. I love that we know each other well enough by now that we can talk about the why's. Like why I bought and then ATE 2,( yes 2 don't judge me), bags of those damn tootsie rolls. It's no wonder I am "irregular"..... cue the Activia commercial. I still managed to eek out a half pound loss. I will take it with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. So I am going to keep it REALLY REALLY simple for myself this next week. DO NOT U...

I walked into the office ( just a house, really) this morning and someone had turned the air down to "freeze your ass off" cold! BRRR. My toes are like ice! I didn't ride the bike this morning. I was trying to figure out some way to get it home after work without being a pain in someone's rear, and it just wasn't happening. The mornings are great, the afternoons are still freaking hot...106 today. So I added an extra mile to my walk this morning. Still am hoping that i will get a short ride in this evening. I am realistic though, I know that I peter out after about 5 pm. I go to bed and wake up very early. Not even cooling off by 5pm.....sigh. I rode about 12 miles yesterday morning round trip. I went to the AA meeting where I got sober. It's a 6:30 am meeting. Anybody that will get to a AA meeting that early is serious about recovery. Anyway, I saw lots of old friends. Missed alot of friends too. Some people have gone back out, some have pass...

A really quick post. This week has flown by. Having the auditors here all week has been lots of fun. We sailed thru with flying colors, and today they even took my co-worker and I out to lunch. NICE! It's been so nice to be here with someone other then myself. Have been sleepng better, good for me! I walked my 3 miles this morning, but I drove to work. I had to take some things that wouldn't fit in my backpack, so I didn't have a choice. I really missed riding this morning. Car is driving nicely. I just keep thinking good thoughts and clling the car pretty names. Hoping that it will last for a while with no more repairs. I can dream, right? Went out to see the Gkids last night. I am posting a pic of my adorable youngest Gkid. Her smile is infectious! Not sure what the weekend will bring. I plan on a long walk and a long bike ride. Maybe a pedi. Not to mention my usual Saturday shopping with Mr. 92. I am totally LOVING Mrs 82. She is so sweet and seems to just love me. Who ...

Got a great night's sleep. Headache gone this morning. Go me!! I rode the bike to work this morning after I did my walk. I have been walking probably alittle less then 3 miles so I can make it to work on time riding the bike. This morning I was just crazy ass happy. ( Karen's term ) I was listening to Five for Fighting. The song World. "Be careful what you wish for, HISTORY starts now". What kind of World do you want! Pick Anything! Build a masterpiece! Loved it! So I decided that I would wave and say hi to everyone I saw on my ride to work. I go thru kind of not so good neighborhoods. I did just that ! I waved at every car. Said hello to every sad looking teenager "drudging" to school. Waved at city buses and school buses. I got lots of waves back. I surprised alot of peeople and I loved getting the smiles back in return. Even from gangster looking kids.....lol. Food good, water fair, mood JOYFUL! Keep the mood and the food real! Build a Masterpiece!

How lovely. I got a migrane at work today. Complete with getting sick to my stomach. So dang it....and I was feeling so good this morning. Actually I am feeling alittle better just being home. This morning's bike ride to work was gloriuous. 76 cool degress and not a cloud in the sky. I am going to get the most out of the winter this year! The audit is going along really well. My co-worker and I run a pretty tight offfice so we aren't too stressed. It's been kind of fun to have others in the office all week. And...best of all I got my car back!! I have decided to still ride the bike to work and home. It didn't cost be a dime over he price he quoted me. So nice guy. Crossing fingers that this will be the last car problem for a while. Not going to make it out to the Gkids tonight. Going to go to bed early and nip this damn headache in the bud. One good thing about it...I feel too sick to eat...lol. What's that line from The Devil Wears Prada. Emily Blu...

Well the weekend came and went too fast! On Saturday I had a nice day with my Gkids and then came home and did some work from home. We are having our anual state audit this week, so little time to blog from work. My computer at home is acting all weird. Half the time I can't leave comment or add picutes . Sunday was great I went for a 10 miles bike ride. QUESTION? When does the hoochie stop hurting? I am suppose to be getting callouses or what to toughen it up, down there. TMI ...sorry. Loved the ride. It just feels so stinking good! Then I went to church. I love early church, have I said that....well I do... lol . Then afet church I cleaned and organized and watched alittle Tv and went to bed early.....blah blah....what a darned exciting weekend. I weighed in last night at my meeting and I got on and it said I had gained a half a pound. Then somebody said try it again...it said that I had loss a half a pound. So I am calling this week a draw...even stevens from last week. ...

The weirdest thing happened last night. I was at Walmart and saw my old boyfriend. Yikes! I was with him for about 7 sevens, about 10 years ago. He was there thru my parents death and the death of my son's dad. I had a rough year that year. Plus we used together big time. It was weird. For such a long time I wondered and stewed over this man. I haven't dated or anything since we broke up. It was totally all in my head. All I could think while we chatted was "man I dodge bullet". I think I might have developed Jackass Teflon. You know, where they just slide right off me. We have talked on facebook and have talked a couple of times on the phone. After I got home last night he started texting. Yikes again. He wanted to get together today. I begged off. He'll go away I'm sure. I can't tell you how good this feels. I'm growing up. I am doing the right thing for me. Feels good to be the one not interested. He dumped me. Yep, feel...

here's the proof that I really have and ride my bike! It's kind of a POS (piece of sh*t), but hey, it get me where I need to go. Note to self...get a gel cushion for said seat. OUCH! Also, here is the pic of the house that I just put a bid for. Planning for the worst, hoping for the best. Not giving up. Have a great weekend!

Was going to post my bike picture this morning, but my computer is acting stupid. Oh well! Getting ready to walk out the door ride the bike to work. Then I will walk on the treadmill after I get to work. I am glad it's Friday, but not really looking forward to the weekend. Had a tootsie roll/licorice free for all last night. Ick! I was sick the rest of the night. So I had best have some plans to stay busy or I am afraid I am gearing up for a weekend pig out. I want to hike and do some bike riding. It still gets up to 100 degrees during the day, so maybe another movie in the afternoon this weekend. Sunday is church. My church starts at 9 am this year. I love early church! The car might be fixed today. Not getting my hopes up. I think even after I get the car back I am going to continue to ride the bike as long as I can. Going to get a food list together and hit the food store as well. That is going to crucial to my success this weekend. I am looking to try out tho...

It is finally starting to cool down some in the mornings here in The Valley of the Sun. My bike ride to work this morning was so nice. I didn't even break a sweat....and that's saying alot! Hello! menopausal woman coming thru. I walked my usual 3 miles and rode 4 miles this morning. Awesome feeling. I mapped at a route that is mostly side streets. Traffic and bike scare the hell out of me. So this morning's ride was much nicer, easier. Loved it. Why haven't I been doing this before?! The handlebars are crooked though. Need to get that fixed...lol. I plan on trying out some of the hikes in the area. My mother loved to hike. I remember hiking with my mother and my sisters. Probably bitching the entire way. Good times... lol. But they were. I wish I would have done it more when I had the chance. Regrets, yes, I have a few. I think I might even try it this weekend early in the morning. It was just so nice darn this morning. Summer kills me. Though t...

I somehow managed to eek out a 1.5 lbs loss this week. I have no idea how that happened. I ate out alot, though I didn't go crazy. Plus, I walked alittle farther each day last week, so that helped also. I am looking forward to a great week ahead. Like Mr. Shit said in his weigh in post. It feels like this is something I could do long term. I didn't feel deprived at all. I was sensible. I am over the moon excited about looking better, but all in all...being able to walk and breath easier is the best. I wasn't perfect last week, but I was vigilant about not eating really bad stuff. Again, I tried to eat good for me foods. Drank alot of H2o. I have been noticing that I am getting more sensible in alot of other areas of my life as well. Spending money being one of them. Another is the way my housekeeping has improved. I decide to clean instead of eat......MOST TIMES...lol. I got another old person to help out for some extra cash....sweet! So now I hae Mr. 92...

It has been a lazy day at work today. This afternoon I mostly checked out the library website for new books.....love me a good book to listen to! I have the new "Prey" book by John Sandford waiting for me at the library...it's like Christmas...lol. I love a good murder mystery. The weekend was good. Went to 2 movies Julie and Julia ( loved it ) and also 500 Days of Summer ( it was cute ). Cleaned, went for a long bike ride yesterday morning listening to my "Wait Wait" podcast. Then church and ended the day with dinner at my daughter's house. I am really glad the Bday celebration dinners, and one breakfast are over. I did my best, though at times my best wasn't quite good enough. I have a weigh in tonight. I have eaten too much this past week. I am setting new goals and I am going to lose some more weight this month! I seemed stalled at the moment. Up and down with the same few pounds. Such is life. I will press forward. I know what to do, so I just need...

Real quick. A friend has offered to help me out with the car. I was overwelmed and so very grateful! Huge load off my mind. I was willing to just ride the bike, but of course, a car is better! I knew that if I just let it go, and moved forward doing all I could, something would work out. It is so hard to just believe. I wish so very much that I could do this with everything in my life. Giving up power, or really the delusion that you have any power at all, is so crazy hard!! Power and Control.... How you get it and how you treat those without any. That is the test of this life. At least that's how I feel. I am off to the movie. I look forward to a quiet weekend. Walking, biking, reading and cleaning. Nothing like some deep cleaning to cleanse the soul (thanks roxie) Believe!

I had a wonderful day yesterday. Had a great visit with my friend. Her house is totally torn apart. I couldn't live that way. Her daughter, SIL, and 5 Gkids are moving in with her. The daughter is redecorating, very slowly. I felt so bad for her. Her room was a disaster, she likes to save things, anything. Mucked that room out! Took us 4 hours. She has had a stroke and can't do a whole lot, but she sat and visted with me. It was the greatest feeling of acommplishment to leave that room better, much better then I found it! Went to Red Lobster for lunch. Ate well. Only one biscuit and then just chicken and some shrimp. yum. This Bday week is almost over, thank goodness! Going with a friend to the movies, going to see Julie and Julia. Finally! Then for some frozen yogurt. I can only hope to maintain again this week. Walked my 3 miles, and I am sure to get some bike riding in over the weekend, since it is my only form of transportation. It wouldn't be th...

I got woke up with a headache this morning. 3:30. I wish I could have slept longer. I have been staying up later so I will sleep later. 3:30 is just too early. Anyway, if I sit up the goes away, so here I am. I had a CT scan done last week and everything was fine. I'm thinking it's a mix of hormones and stress. Going out to help my friend today. I am taking my son's car. Kind of scary, but I am sure it will be fine. I love this woman. I took care of her hubs until he passed. Since then I have become a member of their family. It's kind of like going on a mini vacation. Yesterday my coworker took me out to lunch. Had lots of fun. She took a pic of me blowing out my candle and boy did I look FAT! Big puffy cheecks. Oh body image, you try to mess me up. I went to bed happy last night. Food hasn't been really good. I am doing my best. Trying to focus on good for me food. There was a small peice of cake on bday and a bite of cake yesterday. I did...

Anyone who has been reading this blog lately will have noticed I have had a run of some "bad" luck. And I will admitt that, I too, have thought the same thing more than once. Yesterday was interesting. I came to work kicked butt on the treadclimber and decide not to put any expectations on how I thought the day should go. My son had forgotten and my daughter is a busy girl. No problem. Didn't get out to my friend's house yesterday cause I had to stay at work. Anyway, long story short, it was a pretty uneventful day. UNTILL........ My car broke down on the way to Mr. 92's house to work. This time I am thinking it might be pretty bad. I walk to Mr. 92's house, crying of course, and started to make phone calls. Within an hour my SIL and my daughter were there to help me tow the car. With 4 kids from 30 miles away. My son then tells me that he INSISTS that I take his car and he will ride the bike to work. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! Here's the thing. Lots of hard th...

I was looking at my side bar and noticed that I didn't gain after all. Well how about that! That was a nice B-day gift to myself. Yep, I am 49 today. I don't feel so old. And guess what else? It snuck up on me. Surprise ! I have no idea what today will bring. My kids haven't said any ting , so I think I will go out and help an old friend get her room situated. Her daughter is moving in to her house, and she could use some help. Hoping that my mouth cooperates. I'd like to just take the day off, but I guess we'll see. Whatever happens I am going to make it a good day! I am starting to let crazy brain sneak in and try to ruin my entire day. I have been really teary lately. Another great thing that I found out at the doctor....my cholesterol is down about 150 points, but still high. So I am now also taking another pill for that. Maybe I am feeling my age...lol Going to the office to walk on the treadmill. It was so humid yesterday morning, when I w...

Ate out too much and bad choices while sitting on Saturday. Wasn't terrible but enough to give me a gain of half a pound for 2 weeks. BooWoo. I didn't weigh last week. Actually it's ok. I feel like I know I am doing the right things for the long haul. Even if I have not been perfect with the food, life wasn't perfect this week. It's ok, on to next week. Handfuls of this and a bites of that do add up! Crap effort for H20 drinking. Just do things differant next week. I have an abscess in my mouth ....whoopee! I couldn't see my dentist, but was able to see my doctor on Saturday. I am reallly nickle and diming ...me..lol It's almost funny by now. I can take what the universe gives me. Both bad and good! I found another house. Actually my daughter found it. She insists this is "the one." LOL. She wants me out there pretty bad to research homes herself. Just need to get with my realtor and subit a bid. The law of averages....someone has to say yes, no? H...

I didn't get the house. Feeling alittle discouraged. I really thought I had this one. I bid $10,000 more then the asking price. It would have been perfect. I guess it wasn't "ment to be". Not going to let it ruin my weekend. Doesn't mean I won't shed a tear though. On to the next one. I am going to widen my search. Maybe not out by my daughter. Maybe I should stay close to work. It would be along drive (30miles one way) but I love to listen to books, so it wouldn't be too bad. Dang it! I guess I will just keep searching. I could really use that tax credit. It could solve alot of problems for me. I will press on!

I was watching Rachel Ray(breifly) yesterday and she was interveiwing this guy that has a show called TheDiet Detective. The people have applied to be on a weight loss show, then he stalks them, with the help of their families for a few days. Then he does and Intervention.....I'm here to save your life. All very dramatic. And I thought embrassing. I have never heard of the show...has anyone seen it? Anyway, the one contestant they interviewed was very upset that she had to carry a peice of cake while walking two hours. The same amount of time she would need to exercise to work off the cake. She was pissed that she didn't get to eat the cake in the end. They said they focused on the reasons why she ate. That it was all tied to her emotions. DUH! Just goes to show that you can apply to all the weight loss shows you want. In the end it's about your attitude. You have to work at it, but it can be fun. It's all in the way you look at things. This holds tru...

I watch the show Everybody Loves Raymond. The wife calls the hubs an Idiot all the time. I can't even imagine what it would be like to have someone call me an idiot, and then have to live with them. (former life not included) Then this morning I was suppose to not eat or drink anything for lab work this morning. I found myself calling myself an idiot 3, count'em 3, times! WTFREAK? Yep, you Idiot, you're not suppose to....fill in the blank. THREE TIMES. Hello....I live with me and am calling myself that. So today my goal is to be more mindful of what I am telling me. I am going to focus on the fact that I am capable of doing good things. Damn good things. I just figured it out that I have walked more then 75 miles in a month. WHAT??? That's right! 3 miles a day times 25....as a good cushion for error.....equals 75 miles. I am so damn proud of that I could spit! I already cried...lol..... boob that I am. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of L...

I am HUNGRY! I want food! The faux PB&J I brought just ain't cutting it. I want something salty. Salty and crunchy. I want fries. I want something naughty.....cut to me taking a bite of a breakfast burrito ( not the healthy kind ) . It was gross. Glad it wasn't mine. So I could just take one bite. Yep, cured that craving! Things are better today. Trying to catch up on reading blogs today. I wanted to leave the post from Friday up thru the weekend cause of the link to my son's blog. Before I knew it it was Tuesday. I didn't weigh this week. I was so sick from the tooth and the pain meds I didn't go. I haven't been on the scales either. Well, that's not true I went to the doctors office Thursday and those scales told me I had gained 3 lbs. Whatever. I am not going to OFFICIALLY weigh in till next Monday. On the official scales and on the official day. I am not as concerned about my weight this week. I did everything right, even ate less t...

I am alive. Had to get some dental work done. More money that I don't have. Don't get me started or I will cry AGAIN Then the lortab made me so sick. Throwing up right after an extraction is the worse. Felt messed up all day. Headache bad. Food none. Water alittle. Didn't walk this morning. This is the 1st time in months that have not walked. Did go to work, but just half day. I am not going to let this throw me off. Will sleep well tonight and tomorrow I will be as good as new. Lots of good things to tell. Will have to wait till later, when I am functioning on all cylinders. Thanks for all your comments. It is so nice to be missed. Thanks also for the encouragement to my kid. He is still gung ho! He rode the bike to work this morning. never take your health for granted!