TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY

Good Morning! It's been a long time since I used this blog. I've decided that I had so much success using this blog as a tool to lose 100 pounds, I'm going to blog my way as I fight cancer To The Best of My Ability. Yep, it looks like I have rectal cancer. There is a 20 mm tumor in the old poop shoot. Just shows Heavenly Father has a sense of humor. Seems a fitting consequence for being an asshole for the first half of my life. (my two children will verify this) The good news it's not gone to the lymph nodes per the CT scan, I will get the results of a PET scan, along with a port for chemo Monday or Tuesday. And so it begins... I have every reason to be optimistic. It's still early. I'm still  going to need radiation and chemo to shrink the tumor and wait 5-6 weeks and have a resection, then more chemo is needed. I am grateful for health insurance, though I can't work for at least six months, maybe more. When I went to the surgeon on Friday he told me I ...

A lazy Sunday watching Netflix resting my back and my hip. I have the afternoon to myself. Eating not been so good. I haven't walked in a few days because my hip is been really acting up. Not going to freak and I am just up a pound. I am in it for the long hall. I will just keep pressing forward. LDS women's meeting was last night. My biggest take away from that meeting was that life is made up of moments. Choose to be happy in the moment. I know for me that's when I feel joy. When I am in the moment and it always involves people that I love.  Also associate with people that make you want to be better. I feel surrounded with those kinds of people. Everybody needs their very own cheerleader. I try to be a cheerleader in return.  Back to Netflix!  Keep the mood and the food real........

Wow! I made it to another day. Things are going good. I had a egg white sausage and cheese omelet. It was delish. Then I went for a 2 mile walk. I love waking up early and getting out now that it is a little  cooler. I have almost all my homework done. That never happens. I really enjoy the family history classes.  Cassie and the girls went to see Wicked last night. Tonight Dan and Cassie will go see Def Leopard. Lots of fun.  Keep the mood and the food real......................

     I was pretty sure I had forgotten how to even use blogger. Blogger didn't make it easy, but I figured it out. I have really started to get down to business in the weight loss department. Looking for a way to be held accountable and successful. I know that keeping a journal was I huge reason for my success a few years ago. I weighed this morning and I weighed 229.6 lbs. That is down from my highest regain weight of 255. I am doing using a Weight Watcher app and it has really helped. Started walking again about a year ago with a new walking buddy, but have not been consistent. I will walk about 3-4 days a week. Better then nothing, but not good enough. Will do better. Ok let's see if I can do this again tomorrow! Keep the mood and the food real........................

WIZARD THE WONDER DOG! He is sad cause all the people who drop food to him have gone on vacay.  I miss them too Buddy! WIZARD Prepared all my food at home yesterday.  Woke up too late to walk.  My walking buddy doesn't walk on Thursday so I will try again tomorrow.  I clean a house with stairs tomorrow as well. That is a workout!!!  The kids that live there always ask me if I am ok cause I sweat BUCKETS.  Cute kids. Following the report of the airliner that was shot down.  The man I take care of LOVES Fox News. Food was better but not perfect.  Trying to drink lots of water.  Focusing on the simple things. Have a great day! keep the mood and the food real................

Well here I am again today.  I really don't know what to write but I was so excited to see that my sweet friends remember me.  I got up early this morning and walked 2 miles.  I have found a new walking buddy and that helps so much!  I am living with my daughter and her family since returning from Utah about a year ago.  I do like it and love having my Gkids around all the time.  Anywoo.....they went to a family reunion and will be out of town till next week.  I did some just me grocery shopping and it was nice.  I don't usually food shop, or if I do it's for the family.  My family eats at all different times so I have been just grabbing some healthy take outs and eating when I want.  It's not like that all the time, but sometimes.If I am eating usually I have 5 faces in my face trying to "have just a bite".  Actually that has helped me not eat so much. It's been an adjustment living with 5 kids and 2 more adults.  I am wor...

Putting my toe in the water.  I enjoyed blogging so much and I know that it was a huge reason I succeeded in the past.  I gain back almost all my weight back.  I just didn't think I deserved it.  I haven't had a computer for a long time either.  I just got a new one and realized I really did miss not having my own. So I need to go and see what everyone else has been up to. keep the mood and the food real.........

Oh my goodness!!  I can't beleive how long it's been since I haave posted here.  So maybe things have changed.  The month I moved in with my son and daughter in law, a friend from high school asked if I wanted to be a "Granny Nanny" for her 86 year old mother.  It would mean moving back to my home town and living with the woman.  I didn't hesitate.  I had a good feeling about it from the start, so I went for it.  So, as of the first of October I have been residing in a cozy little home in Orem, UT.  The woman is just a sweetheart.  So easy to please and I feel so comfortable.  The pay is great too.  I like living with someone and it has just been a win/win.  I love my surroundings.  I love the mountains, the memories, being around my extended family.  My sister lives here, as does my aunt, a ton of cousins on both sides of the family.  Of course the downside is I am away from my kids and my grandkids.  I m...

Hello there~  Yep, I am still alive and well.  I just writing a short post get get myself back into the routine of posting more often.  I have got some inspiration from my friend over at Shrink to Fit.  She has loss 133 lbs on Medifast.  I don't think I want to do that, but I do want to reign in my eating and what I eat.  I know that a lot of my depression and aches and pain are food related.  I am what I eat :) I want to start walking again.  It's hot as hell out there, but I really need to do it for, again, my mental and physical health.  I wish I had a walking partner, but never the less, I will walk.  I am planning some big changes.  Moving in with my kids.  School in January.  New beginnings.  Maybe a new (old) me.  I really want to change.....but I am willing to do the work??  That's what has to happen.  I will make myself a deal.  Start small.  I will track my food, I just downloade...

This is my daughter and her family.  Last week was wonderful.  I loved spending time with my sister and brother-in-law. The temple experience was awesome.  I am so glad I was able to be there.  A year ago I won't have been able to.  Things have changed in the past year.  I am 30 lbs heavier for one thing.  I went to stupid Burger King last night.  I didn't want to, but there I ended up.  This is my addict behavior in full force.  I haven't walked in ages either :(  What do they say.....something about a body in motion stays in motion??  I know from past experience that I have START.  I can't wait for the time to be right. I have to do it, even though I don't want to.  Then after I start I will continue.  Yet here I sit at this computer,  wasting my "cool" time of the day.  Heat advisory today, it's suppose to get up to 108 degrees today.  YIKES.  That conveniently eliminates they rest of t...

Well here I am.  I haven't posted in along time.  I read my faves everyday, yet I am not motivated to post.  Things really are going well.  Not food wise :(  I had a rootbeer float weekend.  I tried one and then couldn't stop.  UGH!  Up 5 lbs.  No big shocker there.  Not freaking out about it.  I haven't been walking like I should.  That is a big deal.  Funny when I don't walk I am not as careful with my food.  Life in general is great.  I have another old people job.  It's a couple 3 days a week 6 hrs a day.  A.Gift.From. God.  They are awesome.  I don't have to be on the phone with the Mitt fundraising so much.  Not that I don't like it, but I do get frustrated with being hung up on.  I know how much I hate to be called, that is where I feel like such a hypocrite when I call people.  Usually I preface the call with "I hate to bother you".  Needless to say I haven't made...

Good morning!  Just a quick check in.  I weighed myself and I am down 7 lbs from 10 days ago.  Yippy!  I have been walking every morning and really trying to watch what I eat.  I would like to be down another 5 by the time my family gets here the end of May.  It's doable :) I am feeling that old joy that I used to feel long ago.  I spent yesterday with my new Gdaughter and then went and visited with my little old lady friend.  She is quite popular at the new assisted living place.  It's funny to see all the old guys hitting on her.  She seems happy, but misses her hubs.  It hasn't even been a year.  The past few months were just a whirlwind for her, yet she manages to remain happy and optimistic.  What an example for me.  I love old people.......they make me feel so young :) Today I am going to take my Horder Lady to the movie.  I have a break in the fundraising while they fine tune things.  I listened t...

I just loved this picture!  Me and my Livi Girl.  We were waiting to go to church.  My daughter and son in law were speaking in church.  They did such a great job.  I was so proud.  I spent last weekend being a GeGe.  We went swimming twice.  We spent Saturday morning at the Bird Park.  ASU had a group of students there and they had an exhibit with snakes, spiders and other creeping things.  The kids loved it.  Plus Javi found a duck egg.  They brought it home and named it Parry.  It was funny. On the job front.  I have found a job.  I am doing fundraising for Mitt Romney.  It's a job and that's all I have to say about that.  So if you see me especially political on FB it's financially motivated.  I do like Mitt, but I try not to be outspoken about it.  The nice thing is I am making the same as I would have basically any where else, but I can work from home (no extra gas needed) and I don'...

I am a new GeGe!  Little Sophia Jan Cipolla was born April 15th.  Mom was in labor over 24 hours and pushed for 5.  My son and his wife are overjoyed, as is everyone in my family.  Things are going along pretty good.  I have been feeling better since I started on the antidepressants.  I have walked 3 days in a row.  That is a record.  I got on the scales at the hospital and damn near died.  I am up now 30 lbs.  I have been eating better over the course of the past few days.  Not perfect but better.  That is a step in the right direction.  I am still job searching.  It just seems like it is more then I can do right now.  I have had lots of interviews, no 2nd interviews.  I will not let it get me down.  My life can change in an instant.  I am going to trust and believe that God has a plan for me.  Keep the mood and the food real..............

Well a quick check in.  I have been waiting around all afternoon for them to deliver a new dishwasher.  I took the opportunity to screen a few episodes of Downton Abbey.  The first 4 episodes were awesome.  Holy cow!  I really have been missing out :) I have decided to not stress out over Spanish.  I am going to end up failing anyway.  I am going to consider just sticking it out as victory.  I found out today that nobody is getting an A.  That even the smart kids are not getting above a C.  I didn't go today.  I am glad I skipped out.  I have been beating myself up over Spanish over far too long.  I have stressed and cried for a D.  I am going to relax.  What's the worse that could happen?  I get an F?  I need to relax about a lot of things.  I have been so hard on myself lately. I am feeling better about a lot of things.  I had another interview and I should know by tomorrow.  I have...

I walked a 5K this morning!  Been a while since I have done that.  It felt so good.  My plan is to eat whole foods.  That means I can not buy crap.  I am looking into TOPS ( thanks Dawn).  I plan on drinking LOTS of H20.  I can do what I can do.  My sister is not over weight and she has high cholesterol as well.  I might not be able to get it down, but I can change my attitude toward the problem, and then work with my doctor to improve.    It will do wonders for me to just treat myself well......like I am worth the effort.  I need to be cheerfully engaged in doing kind things for myself.  I need to be looking for ways to help others.  I need to anxiously engaged in good works.  I need to get out of myself.  I need to have faith that things  will work out.  I have been praying very hard for the confidence I need to do all these things.  I spend way to much time in front of the boob tube, as a...

Today it's back to school for me.  I have had a pretty good few days.  Went to my son's yesterday to do some cleaning for them.  My DIL is about ready to have my new Gbaby.  Four weeks if she goes to term.  She is feeling it and is very uncomfortable.  She is still teaching, though she wishes she didn't have to. It was their one year anniversary on the 12th.  They surprised each other with the same thing......they had a book of their love story made into a hard back book.  Too cute.  Can't wait for them to read the story to their daughter. I did got to the Dr. office Friday.  My cholesterol is threw the roof.  The number is 395.  The high range is 150.  So I am going to have to do something.  They told me to get some fish oil and just kept my med the same.  They did add an anti depressant.  Cause, well I have been depressed.  No surprise there.  I am scared to death to tell you the truth.  I...

I am feeling much better this morning.  The only reason I was complaining the places didn't call me back is because they told me to expect a phone call that afternoon, or in the case of the receptionist job, as of yesterday morning, he wanted me to call him back yesterday at 2 pm.  He didn't answer his phone.  I left a message telling him to call me back if he decided to hire me.  People are weird.  Anyway, I have decided that I am taking this all too personally.  It's not personal, they don't even know me.  Things will work out, this I know, they always do.  I have so much support in my RL, and help.  I am just so tired of looking for the job.  My sister called from Japan last night.  They had 2 earthquakes yesterday, that I had to tell her about.  She cracks me up.  Anywoo, she pinned the tail on the donkey.  When I told her it's so hard for me to concentrate at school and I just feel so "up in the air".  She s...

Well, I am just so discouraged.  Neither place called me back.  You think they would be professional enough to let a person know.  I can't figure it out.  I really thought I put my best foot forward.  I went out to my daughter's last night and got in a huge fight with her.  That rarely happens and I am just sick about it.  I acted like a fool and left in a huff.  I am stressed out.  I cry all the time and I feel exhausted.  I have a doctor appointment on Friday that I can't afford.  I am afraid that they are going to add diabetes to the list of stuff wrong.  I probably need to get some counseling.  Is this a reasonable reaction to all the stress?  I don't know any more.  This is not where I wanted to be at age 52.  I have gained back 20 lbs.  I feel and look fat.  People do double takes that haven't seen me in a while.  I know that I am the only one that can change my outlook and the defeati...

Ok, here's an update.....I went to TWO job interviews yesterday.  The home health care job, which was a killer interview.  Spent 2 hours there answering questions.  Holy cow!  I understand the process, I am going into other people's home and they are responsible.  I have to do a drug test too.  I saw that coming.  No worries there, lol.  Plus I have to have my own insurance. The classes have already cost me over $50.  Anyhoo, then a guy called me from a receptionist job.  I was so excited about that.  It's a2-10pm shift, but I think it's the best fit and the least hard on my body.  I am not as young as I used to be.  Eight hours a day, 5 days a week, of home care, is bound to break me, sooner then later. It's .50 cents less an hour, but does have some extra ways to make money. Plus, I would be able to get insurance after 90 days.  So, I need everybody to cross their fingers for the receptionist job.  Really, it...