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Showing posts from 2012

Contentment at last

Oh my goodness!!  I can't beleive how long it's been since I haave posted here.  So maybe things have changed.  The month I moved in with my son and daughter in law, a friend from high school asked if I wanted to be a "Granny Nanny" for her 86 year old mother.  It would mean moving back to my home town and living with the woman.  I didn't hesitate.  I had a good feeling about it from the start, so I went for it.  So, as of the first of October I have been residing in a cozy little home in Orem, UT.  The woman is just a sweetheart.  So easy to please and I feel so comfortable.  The pay is great too.  I like living with someone and it has just been a win/win.  I love my surroundings.  I love the mountains, the memories, being around my extended family.  My sister lives here, as does my aunt, a ton of cousins on both sides of the family.  Of course the downside is I am away from my kids and my grandkids.  I miss them terribly, but at the same time I feel like this

Now....GO!

Hello there~  Yep, I am still alive and well.  I just writing a short post get get myself back into the routine of posting more often.  I have got some inspiration from my friend over at Shrink to Fit.  She has loss 133 lbs on Medifast.  I don't think I want to do that, but I do want to reign in my eating and what I eat.  I know that a lot of my depression and aches and pain are food related.  I am what I eat :) I want to start walking again.  It's hot as hell out there, but I really need to do it for, again, my mental and physical health.  I wish I had a walking partner, but never the less, I will walk.  I am planning some big changes.  Moving in with my kids.  School in January.  New beginnings.  Maybe a new (old) me.  I really want to change.....but I am willing to do the work??  That's what has to happen.  I will make myself a deal.  Start small.  I will track my food, I just downloaded an app :) I am kind of excited to use it.  I will just try to make better choice

to be continued.......

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This is my daughter and her family.  Last week was wonderful.  I loved spending time with my sister and brother-in-law. The temple experience was awesome.  I am so glad I was able to be there.  A year ago I won't have been able to.  Things have changed in the past year.  I am 30 lbs heavier for one thing.  I went to stupid Burger King last night.  I didn't want to, but there I ended up.  This is my addict behavior in full force.  I haven't walked in ages either :(  What do they say.....something about a body in motion stays in motion??  I know from past experience that I have START.  I can't wait for the time to be right. I have to do it, even though I don't want to.  Then after I start I will continue.  Yet here I sit at this computer,  wasting my "cool" time of the day.  Heat advisory today, it's suppose to get up to 108 degrees today.  YIKES.  That conveniently eliminates they rest of the day.....so no walking.  I keep doing this to myself.

Not Lucky, Blessed

Well here I am.  I haven't posted in along time.  I read my faves everyday, yet I am not motivated to post.  Things really are going well.  Not food wise :(  I had a rootbeer float weekend.  I tried one and then couldn't stop.  UGH!  Up 5 lbs.  No big shocker there.  Not freaking out about it.  I haven't been walking like I should.  That is a big deal.  Funny when I don't walk I am not as careful with my food.  Life in general is great.  I have another old people job.  It's a couple 3 days a week 6 hrs a day.  A.Gift.From. God.  They are awesome.  I don't have to be on the phone with the Mitt fundraising so much.  Not that I don't like it, but I do get frustrated with being hung up on.  I know how much I hate to be called, that is where I feel like such a hypocrite when I call people.  Usually I preface the call with "I hate to bother you".  Needless to say I haven't made any commission...lol. For the last few months I have been thinking th

Familair Joy

Good morning!  Just a quick check in.  I weighed myself and I am down 7 lbs from 10 days ago.  Yippy!  I have been walking every morning and really trying to watch what I eat.  I would like to be down another 5 by the time my family gets here the end of May.  It's doable :) I am feeling that old joy that I used to feel long ago.  I spent yesterday with my new Gdaughter and then went and visited with my little old lady friend.  She is quite popular at the new assisted living place.  It's funny to see all the old guys hitting on her.  She seems happy, but misses her hubs.  It hasn't even been a year.  The past few months were just a whirlwind for her, yet she manages to remain happy and optimistic.  What an example for me.  I love old people.......they make me feel so young :) Today I am going to take my Horder Lady to the movie.  I have a break in the fundraising while they fine tune things.  I listened to a This American Life about political fundraising, kind of eye ope

Now on the job front.......

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I just loved this picture!  Me and my Livi Girl.  We were waiting to go to church.  My daughter and son in law were speaking in church.  They did such a great job.  I was so proud.  I spent last weekend being a GeGe.  We went swimming twice.  We spent Saturday morning at the Bird Park.  ASU had a group of students there and they had an exhibit with snakes, spiders and other creeping things.  The kids loved it.  Plus Javi found a duck egg.  They brought it home and named it Parry.  It was funny. On the job front.  I have found a job.  I am doing fundraising for Mitt Romney.  It's a job and that's all I have to say about that.  So if you see me especially political on FB it's financially motivated.  I do like Mitt, but I try not to be outspoken about it.  The nice thing is I am making the same as I would have basically any where else, but I can work from home (no extra gas needed) and I don't have to go out and get new office clothes.  Plus, I have to chance to make c

A Plan for Me

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I am a new GeGe!  Little Sophia Jan Cipolla was born April 15th.  Mom was in labor over 24 hours and pushed for 5.  My son and his wife are overjoyed, as is everyone in my family.  Things are going along pretty good.  I have been feeling better since I started on the antidepressants.  I have walked 3 days in a row.  That is a record.  I got on the scales at the hospital and damn near died.  I am up now 30 lbs.  I have been eating better over the course of the past few days.  Not perfect but better.  That is a step in the right direction.  I am still job searching.  It just seems like it is more then I can do right now.  I have had lots of interviews, no 2nd interviews.  I will not let it get me down.  My life can change in an instant.  I am going to trust and believe that God has a plan for me.  Keep the mood and the food real..............

Don't worry, be happy....

Well a quick check in.  I have been waiting around all afternoon for them to deliver a new dishwasher.  I took the opportunity to screen a few episodes of Downton Abbey.  The first 4 episodes were awesome.  Holy cow!  I really have been missing out :) I have decided to not stress out over Spanish.  I am going to end up failing anyway.  I am going to consider just sticking it out as victory.  I found out today that nobody is getting an A.  That even the smart kids are not getting above a C.  I didn't go today.  I am glad I skipped out.  I have been beating myself up over Spanish over far too long.  I have stressed and cried for a D.  I am going to relax.  What's the worse that could happen?  I get an F?  I need to relax about a lot of things.  I have been so hard on myself lately. I am feeling better about a lot of things.  I had another interview and I should know by tomorrow.  I have 2 other phone interviews scheduled for next week.  I found out that unemployment isn't

Happy with small improvemnts

I walked a 5K this morning!  Been a while since I have done that.  It felt so good.  My plan is to eat whole foods.  That means I can not buy crap.  I am looking into TOPS ( thanks Dawn).  I plan on drinking LOTS of H20.  I can do what I can do.  My sister is not over weight and she has high cholesterol as well.  I might not be able to get it down, but I can change my attitude toward the problem, and then work with my doctor to improve.    It will do wonders for me to just treat myself well......like I am worth the effort.  I need to be cheerfully engaged in doing kind things for myself.  I need to be looking for ways to help others.  I need to anxiously engaged in good works.  I need to get out of myself.  I need to have faith that things  will work out.  I have been praying very hard for the confidence I need to do all these things.  I spend way to much time in front of the boob tube, as a way to escape my life.  Wasting time instead of using my time wisely.  I think I am going to

I Am Really Worth It

Today it's back to school for me.  I have had a pretty good few days.  Went to my son's yesterday to do some cleaning for them.  My DIL is about ready to have my new Gbaby.  Four weeks if she goes to term.  She is feeling it and is very uncomfortable.  She is still teaching, though she wishes she didn't have to. It was their one year anniversary on the 12th.  They surprised each other with the same thing......they had a book of their love story made into a hard back book.  Too cute.  Can't wait for them to read the story to their daughter. I did got to the Dr. office Friday.  My cholesterol is threw the roof.  The number is 395.  The high range is 150.  So I am going to have to do something.  They told me to get some fish oil and just kept my med the same.  They did add an anti depressant.  Cause, well I have been depressed.  No surprise there.  I am scared to death to tell you the truth.  I have started to walk again and have been afraid to put anything in my mouth. 

Taking it Personally

I am feeling much better this morning.  The only reason I was complaining the places didn't call me back is because they told me to expect a phone call that afternoon, or in the case of the receptionist job, as of yesterday morning, he wanted me to call him back yesterday at 2 pm.  He didn't answer his phone.  I left a message telling him to call me back if he decided to hire me.  People are weird.  Anyway, I have decided that I am taking this all too personally.  It's not personal, they don't even know me.  Things will work out, this I know, they always do.  I have so much support in my RL, and help.  I am just so tired of looking for the job.  My sister called from Japan last night.  They had 2 earthquakes yesterday, that I had to tell her about.  She cracks me up.  Anywoo, she pinned the tail on the donkey.  When I told her it's so hard for me to concentrate at school and I just feel so "up in the air".  She said it's because I am always trying to m

Discouraged

Well, I am just so discouraged.  Neither place called me back.  You think they would be professional enough to let a person know.  I can't figure it out.  I really thought I put my best foot forward.  I went out to my daughter's last night and got in a huge fight with her.  That rarely happens and I am just sick about it.  I acted like a fool and left in a huff.  I am stressed out.  I cry all the time and I feel exhausted.  I have a doctor appointment on Friday that I can't afford.  I am afraid that they are going to add diabetes to the list of stuff wrong.  I probably need to get some counseling.  Is this a reasonable reaction to all the stress?  I don't know any more.  This is not where I wanted to be at age 52.  I have gained back 20 lbs.  I feel and look fat.  People do double takes that haven't seen me in a while.  I know that I am the only one that can change my outlook and the defeating attitude.  I just feel helpless.  I am tired of feeling that way.  It d

Update and keep your fingers crossed

Ok, here's an update.....I went to TWO job interviews yesterday.  The home health care job, which was a killer interview.  Spent 2 hours there answering questions.  Holy cow!  I understand the process, I am going into other people's home and they are responsible.  I have to do a drug test too.  I saw that coming.  No worries there, lol.  Plus I have to have my own insurance. The classes have already cost me over $50.  Anyhoo, then a guy called me from a receptionist job.  I was so excited about that.  It's a2-10pm shift, but I think it's the best fit and the least hard on my body.  I am not as young as I used to be.  Eight hours a day, 5 days a week, of home care, is bound to break me, sooner then later. It's .50 cents less an hour, but does have some extra ways to make money. Plus, I would be able to get insurance after 90 days.  So, I need everybody to cross their fingers for the receptionist job.  Really, it would make my day to get them both.  Then I could cho

Spring Break

I finally remembered not to eat this morning, so I can go get my lab work done.  Go me!  I was suppose to get it done last week.  Kept forgetting NOT to fill the ole pie hole first thing in the morning.  I went to church yesterday, though I really didn't feel like.  Then after I was glad I went.  That's always how it is.  Over the weekend I went to The Aloha Festival.  Got to see some old friends.  That was nice.  It's Spring Break this week.  I have the job interview this morning at 10.  Cross fingers.  This is the home care job.  I am pretty sure I have it, but nothing is ever set in stone until the deal is done.  To tell the truth, I am a little nervous.  I almost scared myself into not going.  What's wrong with me??   I AM going no matter what.  I hope to be able to spend some time with the Gkids this week as well.  It's been a while since I've seen anyone.  Hope everyone has a good week. Keep the mood and the food real.............

Life is muy bueno !

Well it looks like I have a job.  It's with a home care agency.  I can still go to school and keep my hoarder lady and my house cleaning jobs.  I went to CPR and 1st aid class on Monday night.   I was going to get my TB test yesterday afternoon, and instead I fell asleep. Can you believe I fell asleep at around 4 pm and didn't wake up till 10??  Fell back asleep around 11pm and slept till after 5am.  My sleep is all crazy.  I don't think I have been getting good sleep, so I needed the extra sleep I guess.  I was exhausted from taking my "listening" Spanish test.  I really hope I did better then I ever have.  I took my time ( I was the last one in the lab ) and I felt like I understood more then usual.  I have been practicing my oral presentation,so I hope that goes well.  I am finding that since the financial stress isn't hanging over my head, it's kind of fun.  Ok, fun probably isn't the right word.  I was still sweating like crazy during the test :

Hold Onto Your Butt!!

Hope everyone's weekend was good.  I had a great weekend.  I hit the all day sale at Macy's.  Found 2 new bras.  I so needed them.  So I go them.  I decided I needed some dressy flats for an office job or for church.  Found 3 cute pairs at Target on clearance, bought those.  It's been a long time since I spent a penny on myself, it felt good.  Saturday morning I went to the Mormon temple just in time for the Spanish session.  I was so glad I did.  I took the translator headphones, but turned it way down so I could listen in both languages.  It was great.  I really felt the spirit and left feeling joyful.  I went for a long walk both mornings.  Listen to some wonderful podcasts.  Then Saturday after shopping my old lady hoarder friend called and wanted to go to the movie.  She paid my way to see The Artist.  I didn't like it.  Too long.  Too boring.  The man in the lead is very handsome and his smile will take your breath away, but that's just not enough.  The stor

Bask in Life!

Good Friday morning! I have had a good week. I aced my Spanish sentences and my Sociology essay. In fact, after a heart to heart with the Spanish teacher she said that my sentences were better then the youngsters. Oh, how I needed to hear that. My daughter keeps telling me that I am just not confident enough. She stresses to me that I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me. :) I love that kid. She really does speak my truth. My fear rules, and I am very hard on myself. Gotta stop that. It's so self defeating, and just what the adversary wants. He laughs at me every time I indulge my fear. I keep that thought in my head, and pray every morning for courage! I know I can't change myself, I need His help. I have a pretty low key weekend. Tonight I am sitting for a young mother in my church. Her husband left her with 4 little kids under the age of 5. Seriously! So I am getting ready for a interesting night. I really am not much o

You Can't Keep A Good (Wo) man Down!

I am feeling tons better. I went out to the kids house andspent the night with the Gkids. Little Z boy cried the entire night. Nobody really slept. I woke up with him the next morning at5 and he wanted to play ball. So we did. The other kids got up early too. Too early. When my son in law came home from working overnights he was so mad everybody was up. My daughter woke up cause they had to get some lab work done before they could change life insurance companies. I decided to take the kids all morning, out. We sat at the McD's for 2 hours. They could play on the jungle gym thing they in there for hours. Then it was to a regular park for another couple hours. Ran around with them. Brought them home fed them lunch put them in rooms for some"quiet time". My daughter woke up and was so grateful to be able to get some sleep. I took off after that. Rode home ate some dinner and went upstairs to watch The Grapes of Wrath. I was asleep 15 mins into the movie and

Personal Responsibility? Got Any?

Well, well look who's alive. Me! I have had a real struggle this past month. I have been taking a Sociology class. At first I enjoyed it, not it just makes me either really sad, or really mad. Thankfully I will be done with this class in a couple of weeks. It's 16 weeks crammed into 8 weeks. That will leave me more time to focus on how crappy I am doing in Spanish. Holy Cow!! I am not getting it. It is just so hard for me. My memory is just mush right now. I need a tutor. I need to study more. This isn't like computer where if I just did the assignments I could get an A. This is much more then that. I picked a bad time to try and learn another language. I will just press forward, do the best I can. That's what's hard, doing the best I can. If something doesn't come easy for me, I don't want to put the work into it. At least I don't feel like it right now. I have been having a bout with depression. Crying jags. Sleeping too much. No

Cross everything you got!

Still kicking! I have been putting out at least 50 resumes a week. I have got one call back. It's kind of far away, and not really what I want, but what are you gonna do. I do feel some of my old confidence coming back. I have found a bunch of jobs that I would be perfect for. I am hoping that "Superbowl Monday" might be part of the reason that I didn't hear from more people. Everybody keep your fingers crossed for me. I am feeling better. The fuzzies and the headache have backed off. I hope it stays that way for a while. You know, I am pretty sure that my rotten food diet as something to do with my icky feelings and achey bones. When my niece leaves this Sunday I am really going to try to get back to the normal me. I have been trying to fatten her up. She came to me so thin. Her 30 days stay is up this weekend. She has been waiting to get out of here since the day she got her. I am not taking it personally. She is suffering from that damn disease tha

Febuary First

Wow it's been a while since my last post.  Too long.  I have been ever vigilant keeping up on FB cause it quick and I don't have to go into much detail.  Classes are going well.  Spanish is kicking my butt.  I took it cause I thought it would be fun.  It's hard and the teacher thinks 8 hours a week, plus homework is what's required to keep up.  Who has that kind of time?  I have a test tomorrow, but I doubt it's going to go well.  I have had a headache for 2 days now and the sore throat thing started last night night.  I have vertigo when I am not in bed lying flat.  My head feels some what stuffy as well.  I have yet to get out of my P.J.'s  I know at some point I am going to have to, but not just yet.  I need to study for tomorrow, but the thought of it makes me kind of want to barf. My niece is still visiting, but she will be going home next Friday.  I know she is past ready to go home.  She isn't happy here.  I was really hoping it would work out for h

loving myself

School has begun. Again, I am the oldest in each class. I think these classes are going to a lot funner. In my Soc Behavior class instead of writing papers you have the option to do 20 hours of "service learning." I called the city attorney's office to work there. I thought it would be interesting to be on "the other side" lol. I hope they will let me work there even though I have "a past." The woman is suppose to email me some info. If not there are a lot of other options. I like both of the teachers. I have been putting my resume out there. Yes, I finished it.....(patting myself on the back. That was hard. I made it a big deal and really it wasn't that hard. I have a couple of job interviews next week. My niece is here, but she hates it and wants to go home. She wrecked her car on the way here. She nodded off. I had to go pick her up about 100 miles away. Didn't make it back home till 3 AM. She has been very sweet, but h

Not much

It's been crazy. My Ggirl broke her arm. I got all set up for school, start on Tuesday. I haven't been walking...boo. I have been feeling blah. Achy and not sleeping very good. I am going to have a house guest. My neice is coming to live with me. I guess that's not really a guest. She needed a change of scenery and called and I said sure. It will be nice to have someone here. My eating hasn't been the best. I am up on the scale since school break, but still under 200. I really want to recommit, but seem to be having commitment problems. No New Year boost to change. This is quick.....just checking in. Been reading all of you, not commenting too much. Keep the mood and the food real.............

This is OUR year....do ya feel it?!

Well I had a great holiday season. I relished the time spent with family and friends. For Christmas I spent the night sleeping in the kid's room. The door locks from the outside, so the kids can't get out before mom and dad and wreak havoc. They learned that the hard way. Anywoo, while we were waiting for the door to be opened the kids were so hilarious talking about Santa and what he brought them. They were so excited, I believed in Santa myself. Cause I knew that Santa had brought them a trampoline. I will treasure that morning for the rest of my life. It made me feel like a kid again. That was when I liked Christmas, when I was a kid. I used to make my little sister "practice Christmas morning" in July. I know, I was a weird kid. I loved everything about it. This was the Christmas that I learned a lot about me. Since loosing my hubs on Christmas Day and then my dad 10 days later, this isn't my most favorite time of year. I try to make it better e