TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY

I could have thought of a better post title. Oh well. I did weigh in this morning and was happy to see another 2.2 lbs gone. That makes a total of 74.4 lbs. Who would have thought it! This year as been kind to me. This year the holidays have been easier. I am so grateful for all my blessings. The biggest I think is Willingness. Willingness to stick with it. Being willing to give change a chance. I never dreamed that I could have lost almost 75 in less then a year. I am truly humbled. I never really know how the weigh in will go, because I never really count anything. Which is kind of good. I don't get expectations (TRY not to anyway) thinking well I stuck to my diet perfect, why is there no movement of the scale. I have some how hurt my upper arm a week ago while moving Mr 92 up in bed. I thought it was a pulled muscle, it probably is. I really thought it would feel better by now. It seems to feel worse. I will keep babying it for a while longer. I don't want to go to the docto...

I love this picture of my son and myself. We went to the Mormon Temple on Wed night with friends. They always have such a beautiful light display. Wore my Skinny Bitch jeans. Feeling very young and cute. LOL!! I was giving out my Christmas Eve Carmel Popcorn and one of my friend's daughter in law was begging me to stay. Told me I looked too hot to just being going to my daughter's house. That they had 2 men coming over that would be perfect for me. WHAT? YIKES! I beat it out of there. Just cause I put omn alittle make up and dress up DOES NOT instantly mean I am looking for a man. Holy Cow, seriously. I have not really given that part of this thing as much thought as I should. I've been single too long. The holiday was very nice. My daughter and SIL were great hosts and the kids made out like bandits. They got me to play rock band. Oh YEA! I ROCK! By the end of the day the kids and adults were damn tired. Whining kids is my cue to help to put the kids to bed and go home and...

YES I KNOW I HAVE THEM BASS ACKWARD! I do not know what the hell is going on with blogger but I can't see the pictures that I posted. Someone had asked me a while back to post a progress photo. Well I was pretty good at not getting any body shots. Seriously, I couldn't find one. This Fat Dana picture was taken last year at Christmas. The cute little family in the pic I am holding is my daughter's family. I look HORRID! I probably weighed close to 260-270 lbs then. I didn't step on a scale back then! I was miserable, in severe knee pain and taking Vicodins by the handful to help with my knee. I really just wanted to disappear. I rarely "groomed". I would shower on the good days. The other days well I went to work in PJs and barely ran a comb through my hair. Thank goodness the people I work for are kind. Plus, she runs around in her nightgown all day as well....still does. Plus I work alone in a home, but still. The thinner photo is of me this past weekend. At ...

I had a totally glorious weekend! Just wanted to check in quick this morning. Things are going well. I am staying crazy busy with Mr. 92 and now Mrs 82 is back home and is begging for me to come back a couple hours a week. Even if it's just to visit. I can not refuse such love. So life is busy. I am not feeling stressed. Doing my best to just stay in the moment and not try to control things. Mr. 92's family has been just awesome. I am only going a couple times a day now, and I had yesterday off. So that was nice. I actually missed him. Took a long walk listening to to music out at my daughter's yesterday afternoon. The weather was BEAUtiful. I rarely listen to music. It reminds me of my tweeking days. I use to sit with headphones on for hours on end. Too bad, cause I love music. I have to me in just the right mood. Church was great too. We had our Christmas program. Saturday was a extra long walk and then my church had a Breakfast Christmas party. We had a great turn out. T...

UGG! I am so stinkin tired this morning. Slept all the way to 5:30 AM. I usually walk out the door to walk at that time. I am not feeling it this morning. Thanks for all the concern about loosing my head and the check. I never did find it. I decided that I was too damn busy to worry about it. After I looked everywhere I called and they canceled the check and I got another one last night. They were great about it. I was embrassed. I am kind of a scatter brain, but it has gotten so much worse in the last few days. I have to talk to the family about cutting back on my hours with Mr 92. I am wearing myself out. When I gained my weight back 2 years ago this is kind of what happened. I put my desire to please and to earn extra money ahead of my healthy routine. I will not let this happen again. I will do what is best for me. Being busy isn't bad....but being so busy that everything else takes a backseat, well not this time, baby! I am going to hit the treadclimber at w...

Am I loosing my mind? I just lost a $320 check. GRRR. Trying to get rid of this crazy brain feeling. grrr. BREATH!

Something just dawned on me. It is a week to Christmas. I still have some shopping to do. I have Carmel popcorn to make. Lots of it. My mother gave out popcorn, this googey soft Carmel popcorn. I have carried on that tradition. It's easy and it's pretty cheap to make. I am not going to get freaked out about what I have to do. I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off yesterday. It was a day where easy things were hard. I went into downtown Phoenix. The 1st try I forgot the check that was to go with the paper work. Ok turn around, try again. Then get over there and drop off the paper work and I find out I had the old paper work and the cost of a daycare renewal went from $150 to $7800. HOLY HELL! I almost died. Arizona is in such financial trouble. This state's money troubles makes me look like Warren Buffet. State employees might start getting paid with IOUs. I work for a school. It's not time to worry yet, however. Just reminding myself....lol. Mr. 9...

Well this morning was the official weigh in day. This morning I was surprised with the number 192.6. I can't believe it! Another 3.4 lbs gone. I have done better then I thought. I love this weighing in the morning thing. What took me so long! I knew I felt lighter...lol. Still very busy with Mr. 92. I think today will be the last day. The family has taken him to the doctor. I would be surprised if they didn't admitt him. Too bad, I think he would much rather die in his chair at home. It is getting harder and harder to take care of him though. Yesterday I thought I had tore up my knee. I got off the treadclimber and then got back on and forgot it was still running. FREAKING OUCH! Feels much better this morning and walked at a slower pace for only 30 mins. My head wasn't in the game yesterday. When I was 17 I gave a baby boy up for adoption. My dauhgter has been trying to find him this past few days, without me knowing about it. I am register at the State...

Good morning to all. I have had a busy past few days. Mr. 92 is still kicking and till he gets moved to a group home I am going to go to his house 5 times a day. Crazy I know, but I was praying for a way to make alittle extra Christmas money. Prayer answered. I love it! It's hard to fit everything in, but so far, so good. It's just till Thursday or Friday. 70 lbs ago I would never have had the energy to do all this stuff! So go me! I have been doing okay with food. Not great, still eating too much processed stuff. I jumped on the scales Monday morning for a premature peek and was happy, but I will wait to weigh again till tomorrow morning and be all official. I hope I can hold onto the loss. Though, it doesn't really matter, cause I feel lighter. I know that seems crazy, but my body just feels different. I was able to wear, comfortably, the size 16 GAP jeans that were my daughter's. They are low ride and kind of uncomfortable anyway, for me, since I usually wear MomJean...

It's been a crazy morning already. Mr. 92's SIL ( my boss ) called me early this morning. Long story short the paramedics have been to his house twice already today. It's only 10:20 AM. I had him in the shower this morning and had to slide him to the floor because he was to weak to stand. So I was one of the calls. It's too bad. They are probably going to have to put him some where to get round the clock care. It's really what he needs, but he will fight it. He is a stubborn and hard headed man. Good luck! I will do what I can. I really could use the extra money right now before Christmas. I am kind of depending on it! Things will work out, they always do. I have done alittle more Christmas shopping and at least have a plan for the rest. I have really scaled back this year. ALOT! I am glad too. Makes me grateful for the gifts I am able to give. This makes me feel alot better, less stressed. I am in a good place this morning. Feeling good, less anxious. More energy, ...

Holy Hell! I am hungry today! I want to eat everything and anything. Luckily I am at work and there is nothing here. I did find some gross little taquitos in the freezer...nuked one. Ate it and now I am feeling like ICK! Don't plan on eating another. My emotions are still all over. Such high anxiety this morning. I was pacing. Over nothing. I was as Roxie calls it, I was "awfulizing". I have decided I am too damn good at doing that. GRR. Anyway feel better. Got myself in a good space spiritually and things got better. I have let my prayers get mundane. I need to get back to "feeling" my prayers. How will I do this? Practice, practice, practice! I did not want to walk this morning. I didn't do my usual 45 mins on the treadclimber, but I did do 35 and then my knee was bugging me. Plus, I just felt like it was torture. Attitude is SO important! I did walk....no excuses. Yesterday was fun. My friend hadn't seen me in awhile and she just kept telling me how g...

Welcome to the 1st anual Dana's Wed Weigh In. I bought a scale last night and they were kind to me this morning. It said 196. So I am back in the 100s. I really want to stay here this time. I haven't been eating good for me foods. Lots of processed food. BOOOOOO! I am feeling it in my emotions and in my energy level. I was so beat this week I tried one of those energy drinks. YICK! Plus it was useless. The scale is down quite a bit, but that is because I had just eaten a huge sandwich and drank a big drink of water just an hour before I weighed last week. Plus I weighed in at night. I weighed in this morning. Plus, it's a new scale. So I am not breaking my arm to pat my own back. I have been pushing the water though and keeping up on my walking everyday. No excuses. I am grateful I have a treadclimber available. It has been pretty cold. I walked yesterday morning, but this morning I am downloading the new Closer and am going to the office to walk. I am...

Thank you to Terie at gatheringmyroses.blogspot.com (for some reason blogger isn't letting me link you to her blog....but check it out for sure!! ) for the Superior Scribbler Award. Sorry it took so long to remember to respond. It's been kind of crazy. I wish I could give the award to all my most favoite bloggers. Instead just look at my blog roll. Thanks Teri!

Well I decided that this year I would put up a tree and some outside lights. I don't have alot of Christmas stuff. I have started over so many times. It's hard to keep stuff that way. Anyway, I put out what stuff I do have. I haven't done that for a few years. It makes me feel alittle merrier! I am really going to make this year different. I am! Today is my Dad's Bday. I miss him so much. He is still near, helping me when I need it. I have felt it. He recieved a heart transplant years ago and it gave him an extra 7 years. I have the news clipping about the accident of the man that donated his heart to my dad. Overwhelming sometimes, when I really think about it. He bounced so many times, I stunned when he didn't pull through that last time. We all where. He was a chemical engineer. A geek, with a slide rule in his pocket protector. He was so witty and funny. When I was little I used to think he must stay up late night amd plan his responses. Li...

I LOVED this post this morning. http://tippytoediet.com/ Cammy said that she hasn't owned a scale in years That when she steps on the scale it's just a moment in time. What she does consistantly is what counts. I loved that it. Besides, it's so true. She said that perfectly! She is also giving away a very nice scale. You might want to check it out. This got me thinking....am I emotionally ready to own a scale? It started yesterday. I am going to change my weigh in day and the time. I am going to have a scale in my home to weigh 1st thing in the morning.....on Wednesdays. The scale used to make or break my day. Now I can just think of it as a moment in time. Most of the time. Attitude is so important, I don't want to screw it up. I am feeling better. I find that as a push myself to do the things that scare me or that I just plain don't want to do, I feel better. Well duh! When I am going through this Crazy Brain stuff I am anxious and scared all the time. It's...

Most of you already know about this blog TJs Test Kitchen http://tjstestkitchen.blogspot.com/ . This Sweetie's blog is awesome. She is an awesome cook. I want to go to her house for dinner. Check out her vlog post. It was real and honest and hit home for me. She says that this journey is hard. I know that it's true. If you don't know about this blog, check it out now. TJ had a small gain this week. This after she had planned, prepared and went without. She was upset. I can relate. I had a 3.5 lbs weight gain this past week. I wasn't shocked, but I was disappointed. I didn't have pie or stuffing or appetizers. I had one meal. As opposed to eating several...throughout the weekend. Which is what I used to do. Still a gain. I am not going to beat myself up over this. I am going to cut myself some slack. It could be a bunch of stuff. Hormones, water retention, had just east a sandwich. The body, she is fickle....no? I have decided that I am going to break down and buy...

Here are some pics from Thanksgiving. I haven't felt much like posting. Just don't feel like I have alot to say. Trying to ride out some Crazy Brain stuff. Sometimes I wish I would just grow up already. I just don't feel excited. About anything. Even my weight loss. I am glad, grateful and humbled, but not excited. I just feel stagnant. Nothing is really wrong. Just feeling at dis-ease. I am not as vigilant about my food as I was. Or water. It's still a hell of alot better then last year. I am not beating myself up. Still walking or biking everyday though. It's the best part of my day! You know, I knew in my head that if I lost weight, it would not solve all my problems. I learned that when I got clean. Just cause I got clean, things didn't get magically better. I wouldn't be magically be happy. It's an inside job. I am the only one that can change me. I wish I wasn't so afraid of change. grrrrr Enjoy the pics......keep the mood and the food real. ...

266 is not just a number! I found this great blog and an opportunity to be a part of something special. This Loser is celebrating 100 followers and getting to onederland by donating a buck for every comment she gets and then a buck when you link from your blog to hers. So here it is http://266-twosixtysix.blogspot.com/ . I don't usually enter give aways. For this one I will make an exception!

Thanksgiving was interesting. I go to the Turkey Trot and found they only had 1 or 2 mile walks and a 10k run. My friend was signed up to do the 2...I thought I was going to do a 4 mile walk. I ended up up just doing the 2 mile. It was fun, but next time I want to plan ahead and do a least a half marathon. Not run, but walk it. Do something hard. I could do it! The dinner part of the day was weird. My daughter's stove and burner broke down. Luckily her neighbor was out of town and she was able to use hers. Daughter, cool as a cucumber, not flustered. Then her half brother that was driving from Utah broke down in Vegas, the day before. Times were changed and assumptions were made and I thought they were quite a thoughtless bunch. My little family ate at 3, as planned. The rest of her family showed up after all the food was put way. She is still cool as a cucumber. I wanted to tell them what I thought. Instead I made up a reason to go home. She hosted another dinner. I was dead tired...

199.5 lbs. That's down 3 lbs. I will take and be happy with it. I have been still suffering with a cough and not sleeping well at night. I will live however. Was there ever any doubt? I am just on the way out the door to see how crowded the food stores are. My guess is very crowded, I might wait and go at 5 AM. That's the best time to go to the store anyway. My part for dinner tomorrow is easy. I am making my famous Yam Souflet. YUMMY!~ I am walking 4 miles in the Turkey Trot in the morning. My 1st race. I am excited about all of it! If I don't get a chance to tell you tomorrow.......GOBBLE GOBBLE TODAY. I had planned on a graditude post, but that will have to wait. KEEP THE MOOD AND THE FOOD REAL........BE GRATEFUL!

Ok .....I might have over reacted yesterday....ouch! Not that all the crazy stuff didn't happen, cause it did, but I ended up handling with the appropriate grace and charm....NAUGHT! I went home early cried and went to bed early. But today I feel better. I didn't weigh in last night, but I will today. I am sure that things will be better today. I do love my job, it's just "sometimes"....I know you all know what I mean. So today I will remember MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!~ This will be my new mantra! The other will be be THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU...IT RARELY IS~! The other one will....BE GRATEFUL, YOU INGRATE!~ I could go on and on. I think you get the point. I have found there is no quicker way to get rid of a resentment then to do ANONYMOUS service for the victim of my resentment. GRRR . That is like swallowing bitter medicine, but it cures me 9 times out of 10! Lucky bastards..... My life is good. Why bitch about things I have no control over. I wi...

This morning I woke up and my daughter had left me an email with this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUPQTmi65zM telling me that the song reminded her of me. Well, it is Whitney Houston's performance from last night's AMA awards. Her perform ace was stunning and the fact that daughter thought that it reminded her of me made me cry like a baby. Yes, I am a boob. I have had a hellish day at work. I am so glad that I learned in the Four Agreement book that I shouldn't take anything personally. Cause boy oh boy i could have run with a butt load of resentments today. Instead, I can almost laugh at the situation. Almost. I am so glad that I have the ability to recognize when I am a being a A-Hole....most of the time anyway. I am grateful that I am not too proud to say when I am wrong or when I make a mistake. IT makes my life much less stressful. Being right (or even BELIEVING that you are right) all the time is exhausting....just ask Rush Limbaugh ... lol , couldn't re...

Feeling better today. Food was not as crazy. I focused on good for me foods and I cleaned house. Those two things really make me feel better. I kicked on the treadclimber this morning. My Ipod broke... grr . I had to bring my laptop from home so I would something to watch while walking. Going out to my daughter's for dinner tonight. Maybe she can figure out what's wrong. I hate calling any customer service place. I am still hungry. Really hungry. Not really sure if I am hungry for food or something else. I have read a few blogs this morning about self sabotage. I know that's what I did last week, and it's spilling over into this week. That huge drop last week was shocking. I didn't work really hard that week, I was on vacation. So therefore, I decided that it wasn't earned. So I must gain it back to loose it the hard way. Does this sound crazy? Cause if feels like crazy thinking. I feel fat today. I am still bloated and when I look in the ...

Ok.... binge over and out! I went crazy last night. There were tootsie rolls and a chocolate bar involved. That is the 1st time I binged on chocolate since March. Something is up with me. Holidays? Who knows. What I do know is that I can do better. I will do better. I have drank lots of water and pushed myself on the treadclimber this morning. I am not getting back on the scales till Monday. I have lost over 60 lbs since March without counting anything. I have tried to eat intuitively. We all know what foods to eat. I am going to continue to loose weight this same way. This IS NOT a diet for me. This is how I want to live the rest of my life. Do I feel better?....hell yes! Both physically and emotionally. Used to be I couldn't even get out of bed. I remember how grateful I was to just be showering and getting dressed everyday. That was the number one thing I did for myself when I 1st started this new lifestyle. Now I do that everyday. My life is so much better ...

Well I had a crap weigh in. I gained back most of the weight from last week. Dang it. I am back up to 202.5, so I gained 5 lbs. I can't believe that, so I am not going to believe it. I am full of water and so stinkin full from a large lunch. Plus I weighed in the morning last time, evening this time. I am not changing my side bar...cause the 5 lbs are going to be GONE by next Monday. Not going to let this get me down. It's just a hiccup. I am still walking and biking, and not eating crazy stuff, just lots of stuff. One bad week does not equal failure. Blah blah blah.....I need to kick my butt into gear. Maybe I took for granted last week's loss. Like I didn't deserve it, which is stupid! I need to remind myself this isn't all about food and exercise. It's the disease of addiction and it centers in my mind. I deserve all the good things the Universe has to give me. Keep the mood and the food real..........YOU DESERVE IT!

Life is not fair. It's not suppose to be. As soon as I accept that the happier I will be. I have let something have control over me this past weekend. I hate feeling all resentful and hateful. It truly makes me sick to my stomach. Is the person that upset me, upset? HELL NO. I almost have to laugh. I spent all weekend in a food/sleep fog trying to just check out of those feelings. I fixed a big pot of WW chili and that's what I ate all weekend. Minimize the damage. I could feel a food binge coming on, so I figured I could binge on good stuff as well as McDonalds, so I went the chili route. I walked both mornings. This morning I was up and ready to go with my buddy. It felt good. I did make it to church Sunday and to my daughter's after church, so I guess it wasn't a total fog....lol. Just felt like it. It's been actually cold in the morning. 48 degrees this morning! Brrr! I am sure I will show a gain tonight, but it is what it is. If I could hold to even 5 of the 7 ...

Have been struggling a little this week. I have super tired all week. I haven't gone walking with my buddy once. I have been getting on the treadclimber , but I love the feeling of getting it out of the way early. It's been kind of cold before sunrise.... whimp , I know. Excuses! I have had a crazy night time cough that is killing me. So it's better that I don't get all sweaty and cold. "sneeze"! Food has been ok , but I can see that I have eaten more this week then last. I was so busy last week, this week has been about winding down. Anyway, I biked this week (6miles) and haven't missed a day walking. I just wish I felt better. I don't have any big plans for the weekend. I need to clean house and organize. That always makes me feel better. I am starting to feel the "it's Christmas, I think I am going to freak out" feelings. I don't like Christmas. I wish I had unlimited funds. My daughter always starts very early. She is a great gift...

Oh Happy day! I weighed in on the "official scale" and it said.....drum roll please........196.5 lbs!!!!! That's down 7.5 lbs since last Tuesday. I was so shocked I jumped off. Like I couldn't believe it! I can't believe it. I am so happy!

Has anyone noticed that I didn't weigh in this week? Well, the 'holder of the scale" is in Argentina visiting a new Gkid . It's been hard to get to the scales due to scheduling on my part or on her daughter's part. I am not freaking out about it. I am hoping I might be able to jump on sometime today. I went to a church function last night, and everyone was telling me how good I looked. I just saw them 2 weeks ago.....but whatever. I'll take it. It was a progressive dinner. Lots of healthy choices. We skipped the dessert house and came home early. I have the day off today. Went outside to walk and came back in till it gets light, since I have time this morning. DUH! My walking buddy decided to sleep in. I will probably go to the office and walk on the treadclimber . I need to finish this week's 2 fit chicks podcast. Those girls do a great job. As promised here are some pics from Sister's Weekend 2009. This pic below is of couple of cousins. They are such...

Had a great time. Laughed alot and shopped alot. Bought just alittle. Tried not to worry about the superficial, and was pretty successful. I ate well. We shopped so much we barely had time to eat. I got on the treadmill 2 out of the 3 mornings. My sister has a home gym in her basement. SCORE! Got lots of compliments. Loved that. I was kind of a whinner. I started in with a cold the day I left and tried to fight it all weekend. I am not a "suffer in silence" kind of girl. I had a hard time sleeping, not sure why. I FELL into my bed last night. Slept so good. Now it's time to play catch up on blogs. My boss just walked in I gave me a long list of things to do , grrrr. So catch up might have to wait. Will post some pics when I have some extra time. I put on a skirt for church yesterday morning, and it was so loose! I just had it on like 2 weeks ago and it was fine. I was shocked! Happy and shocked. I read the book Shattered Silence, The Story of a Serial Killer's Daughte...

Oh Sweet Crazy Brain, how you vex me. Yesterday life was grand! The perfect day. This morning I am a nut case. I can't stand how I look in any of the pants I had hemmed. Remember, it's not really got cold here in the desert, so I haven't worn long pants in a long time. I know it's just cause I am not used to seeing myself dressed that way ( girlie ) but still. My mind is playing tricks on me. Focusing on areas of my body that I hate. (stomach and arms) Instead of being DAMN proud of my accomplishments. WTF !!! I have decided to wear what I feel comfortable in. I have borrowed so much stuff that I don't even feel like myself. I have WAY over packed, cause I need someone to help me. I think I look stupid, but again, I have TCB . My sisters will help put me together. I am going thru other emotions too. If my sister is reading this (and I know you are, love ya) remember this is about the way I feel. You have done nothing, EVER, to make me feel this way. I compare mysel...

I've been at a dead run all day. I can honestly say that this was an almost perfect day. I did everything that I felt was important. I walked the entire 3 miles this morning. Truth be told I have been only doing 2.5 lately. Had a great conversation with my walking buddy. Talking about deep stuff. I worked hard. Visited both of my old people....did I say that I love those old farts. Had lunch with my co-worker/best friend and my son. Then got my hairs cut. Then went out to see my Gkids and had dinnner with my daughter's family. Perfect day. Even talked to both my sisters. We are all excited. I am wearing myself out tonight because if I don't I will be up at 2:30, like I was this morning. Staying up very late for me....9pm....lol Hell, I've turned into an old fart. The scale rewarded my half assed effort last week with a 1.5 lb gain. I am at an even 204 lbs. I am ok with it. I KNOW that I have been saying "I'm ok with it" too much lately. I got on my daughte...

Alive but just barely. Had a migraine that last for 2 days, on and off. Not so good for Dana. Missed work yesterday. Then I threw up so hard that I threw my back out. MORE FUN! I will not let this derail me from having a GREAT time with my beloved sisters. I have 3 days to get better, and as God as my witness.....I will be healthy and ready to go by Thursday. Didn't go trick or treating Saturday. One night of candy fun was all I needed. I went to the trunk or treat Friday night at the church with the kids. They were all adorable, of course. Then my WICKED daughter sent me home with 3 and a half POUND bag of tootsie roll treats. WTFreak ! Needless to say the candy went to the school. Like the kids need any more candy. As far as I'm concerned, it's every man for himself. Myself DOES NOT need 3.5 lbs of my most fave candy around. So I feel I made a good choice. My daughter, however, is now out of the will ( like I even have one.... lol ). I am going to have my pants hemmed to...

6 am on a Saturday morning and I have been up for an hour already. Had a pretty good day yesterday. Stayed busy right up till I fell into bed. they had a trunk or treat at my daughter's church last night. So cute. Will post pics soon. Everyone decorated the trunk of their cars. Some were very creative. There was lots of people and all in all it was a success. I did break down and eat 6 little pieces of those malted milk "whopper" candies I don't even like them...STUPID! Oh well, I end up having a subway for dinner, so I didn't do too bad. Got lots of extra walking in as well. H2O intake was better yesterday......but I could still stand to improve there. I haven't really talked about my old people lately, but I LOVE THOSE 2 OLD FARTS! Mrs 82 and Mr 92. I love going over to visit with them and help them out. I always leave feeling so much better then when I arrived. They really appreciate everything I do for them. Plus, they love me back. ...

Here are my 2 Gdaughters in their Halloween costumes. A busy bee ( fits her personality. and a fairy princess, again very fitting) Stinkin cute girls, but then I may alittle prejudice. Looking forward to posting pics of the Gsons over the weekend. Lots of trick or treating to be done. I am really lucky that I don't like candy ( expect of tootsie rolls, duh ) So this shouldn't be big a temptation. Yesterday I ate half a sugar cookie and felt sick. Frosting.... YICK ! I want to thank everyone that left me an uplifting comment yesterday. When I post stuff like that I don't feel very inspirational. I feel very much in self preservation mode. I don't really like to post about my drug addiction, but sometimes when you say it aloud, you can really hear how stupid an idea it really would have been. Besides, it releases the hold it has on me. You're as sick as what you keep secret! I haven't had that strong of an urge for along time. Nice to know I still know wh...

I have been feeling good. Really good. So what do I do when I feel like this? I'll tell you. If I am not careful The Crazy Brain will tell me that things are TOO good. When will the other shoe fall. This can't last forever. It's almost like I am willing things to go wrong. I am loving my job right now. Things are going along really well. I feel apprecitated. So why have I been tense over nothing at work? Afraid I am forgetting something? Who knows. The bad thing is that for the past couple days I have really wanted to use. Those of you who have been reading for a while know that I am a recovering drug addict as well as a recovering food addict. Now don't freak out. I didn't use, nor will I. However after getting off the drugs I used food as a way to cope with the feelings I didn't want to feel. I gained 90 lbs in 2 years after I got clean. So for the past couple of days I have felt at dis-ease. To me that means out of sorts. Nothing is re...

Well I had a pretty good day yeterday. Weigh in was good....lost 2.5 lbs. Now if I can just keep it off this time. I keep gaining and loosing the same 3 lbs for about 3 weeks now. I am a half pound higher then my lowest weight. I know what to do, I just need to follow thru. I really need to up my H2O, not drinking near enough. I am going to walk at work this morning on the treadclimber. My walking buddy is too busy to walk this morning, besides, it's kind of cold this morning. I don't like to walk by myself before dawn. Kind of scary. I have downloaded Two Fit Chicks podcast and plan to listen while I walk this morning. Kind of excited about it. If you don't know about this podcast visit Mizfit or Dietgirl. It was Shauna's book that lit a fire under my butt and got me into this bloggin thing. Thanks again Shauna!! Things are still quiet on the homefront. Nothing earth shattering. Just lots of doing the same thing over and over. Nothing wrong with tha...

Well here is a picture of all the girls. Trying to get all of us to look and smile at the same time was out of the question. We had loads of fun. We shopped and played games and just hung out. I laughed, ALOT! Food was good, weigh in is tonight so we'll see how good I really was....lol. Didn't buy anything new over the weekend. Did try on some jeans, but nothing that I couldn't live without. So I went without. I have been good about keeping up with my walks. Today I walked and then rode the bike to work. It was actually cold! I can't wait...it's suppose to rain here tomorrow and be very cold. LOVE me some weather! Cause we don't really get alot of it. I really don't have no much to say today. Kind of trying to just catch up on blogs and work. I am still feeling pretty good. Nothing earth shattering going right this minute. So I will enjoy the peace. Keep the mood and the food real.....

You know it's going to be a interesting day when you cough so hard you pee your pants (don't act like it's never happened to you) on your morning walk. Then you come home and get in the shower get out, dry off, get dressed, then take your hair out of the towel to realize that you never rinsed out the conditioner. Hit rewind! It was one of those days when simple things were hard. I even got caught telling an untruth. Something stupid, really. Mostly it was just so embrassing. Why do I do that sometimes. Why?? I want people to like me, usually. I had a pit in my stomach most of the day after that. I used to be an excellent liar, not so much since I got sober.... lol Once I got to my daughter's I started to unwind then felt exhausted. It turned out to be a good day, and I got thru it intact food wise. My daughter made really good turkey burgers . Then I had salad. I was so busy yesterday I didn't get a chance to eat. Now that never happens . I make time to eat......

Ever have one of those days when you feel like pinching herself to make sure you aren't dreaming?? That's how I feel today. The "new to me" size 16 levi jeans are too big. I just bought them. What?? I know that they are " gently used" but it makes me totally feel like a weight loss bad ass. Even though I've gain 3.5 lbs in the last 2 weeks...lol. I have had lots of people ask today if I've lost weight. Seriously.....A girl can not get enough of that! I ate well yesterday and so far so good for today. I rode the bike to work and home. Then I got in 2 miles in the evening. It has cooled down from last week. The evenings are wonderful! I walked at 5 am and I would like to get in another evening walk before book club. I love me some book club! Can't wait to talk about "Mockingbird" tonight. I have been having this inner voice telling me that I should really, seriously go back to school. I can't think of anything but history that I would...

First off, the dreaded weigh in. I was up .5 lb. After the week I had, I will take it. I didn't put my best efforts in last week, but I did have a nice week with the Gkids . I will do better. I haven't really been eating real foods. Ok Dana, so do something about it already! Plan is in place, mojo in place! The concert was AWESOME! Traffic was messed up and we missed about 20 mins of The Black Eyed Peas. That made me annoyed, but what are you going to do. It took us 2 hours to go about 50 miles. Crazy right?? U2 puts on a great show. Bono is just so super cool ( and handsome). They played for over 2 hours. Totally worth it. What was awesome as well was how well I fit in my seat. How easy it was for me to walk from the car to my seat. I didn't sweat like a "fat girl". I felt comfortable in what I was wearing. I wasn't comparing myself to the other women there. Like, "am I as fat as she is" . I was just in the moment ...

I didn't make it to weigh in last night. The scale owner ( that sounds funny) was not going to be home till 6:30. I was just too hungry too wait. Then I did it good. Ate well for the meal part, but the after meal part...not so good. WTHELL?! Why would I do that. Yes, there were tootsie rolls involved, damn it, but not limited just to tootsie rolls. I scarfed down whatever I had in the house. Luckily I didn't have much on the house. Still? Why would I do that, it drives me nuts. I am going to weigh in right after work. I refuse to give this dang weigh in any more of my energy. It will be what it will be. I will just press forward and not give up. One derail isn't going to automatically mean I am going to gain all my weight back (stupid, but TCB does sometimes does make me believe it ) Even a derail the night before a weigh in. Can anyone say SELF SABOTAGE...i knew you could. Got up early and walked my 3 miles. Didn't ride to work, as I have to leave a lunchtime to help M...

Well today it's back to the routine. I haven't really had alot to say the past couple of day. I took each Gkid one at a time. It was fun and kept me sane during this past week off. Food hasn't been perfect. The boys wanted an IHOP breakfast, so I did that twice. Made good choices, but still over ate quite a bit. I didn't get as much walking in as I had hoped. Did make it to the bird park yesterday morning for a long "stroll". I'm totally ok with all of it. I did the best I could at the time, and then I just moved on. Life is going happen. I went with my daughter and the kids to a Pizza birthday party last night. I didn't even eat a piece of pizza! I ate a low cal burrito before I went. When I got there the parents of the Bday boy kept telling me how good I look. They haven't seen me for a while. That was nice, didn't want to blow it and eat pizza after that....lol. My daughter looked at me when I walked in her house yesterday and she asked me i...

Blogger is being so weird! I can't comment on so many peoples blogs. Drives me crazy. I have been awake since 2:30 am. My 20 year old son came to me with toothache pain. Guess he will be at the dentists office this morning. He really needs his wisdom teeth out. Felt so bad for him. When your child is in pain it is heart breaking. He has a pretty high tolerence for pain, but the kid was almost in tears. Don't know what we are going to do about the $$ part of it, but everything will work out. It always does. I have been catching up on blogs this morning. I am feeling back to normal.....which is really relative...lol. Had great busy days the last 2 days. My 3 year Gson is in my bed and I had a great time with him. We hit the bird park yesterday. Even if it is still in the DAMN 90's here in the desert. Suppose to hit 100 by Saturday...seriously?! That was the only exercise I got in yesterday and today will probably be the same. I will be glad to get back to my work routine. Foo...

Today has been busy. It actually started yesterday. I decided to meet my daughter and the Gkids at the park for a picnic, then took the oldest and the youngest home for a sleep over. Worked alittle after getting them dropped off this morning. Visited both my old people. I have just finished doing alittle cleaning. I am now on the way to pick up another Gkid for another sleep over. I have been too busy to eat or feel all selfish. It's working! Feeling better, I always do. Didn't walk this morning. Didn't plan ahead very well this morning. Will do better tomorrw. Just trying to stay in the moment and enjoy life. Food has been pretty good though. Since I missed a couple of days already this week walking, I am trying to keep the food under control. Doing pretty good. Water is no good. Will try much harder! I have not been able to read alot of blogs the past couple of days. It does feel good though to out and doing things, instead of reading about them...l...