Make the season better, it's up to me!

Oh for Heaven's sake Dana, quit eating. I am eating crap that I don't even like. I haven't walked in days and I feel so FAT! I am in a state of frustration. I am having one of the best holiday seasons ever, yet I feel the need to secretly eat. I am buying stupid stuff that I haven't bought in years. I ate a Big Mac. What?? I KNOW! I know that I am in relapse mode, on food that is. This time of year is really hard for me, but in the past 3 years I haven't felt the need to eat like I have this year.

I have sat around for the past 3 days (i haven't felt very good) and watched movies. The Wizard of Oz on Sunday and The Sound of Music yesterday. That's not so bad, but I could be doing other, more productive stuff. I am lost without school and I only work one day this week, Friday. Too much time on my hands. BOO!!

Ok, now is the time to get it together. I haven't been eating Christmas goodies, so that isn't going to be a problem. Go throw out the doughnut hole and the oatmeal "little debbie" crap RIGHT THIS MINUTE. Get on your walking shoes and take a nice long walk. You will feel much better. Then, Miss Dana, go find someone that you can do something for. Even if it's taking an old lady to the movie. Get out of the house. Here's a novel idea, go test out for math and reading at the school. Face your fears, you are going to have to at some point. Why not sooner then later. You can do HARD THINGS.

Tomorrow is "The Forgotten Carols" at the beautiful Gammage Center. Dress yourself up and for crying out loud.......enjoy yourself. Treating yourself well will make the season even better. You know it true, the adversary that wants you to be miserable. Don't that that old Devil win. Remember, he laughs at you when he is able to deceive you. Remember, you hate being laughed at. Don't beat yourself up, just move on. Ok, now go do it!

Keep the mood and the food real............Merry Christmas to all!

I'm not alone

So it's Wednesday. I am done with school. Got straight A's. Pretty proud of that. I am still deciding what to take next semester. I am going to take my transcripts in from years ago and see if the transfer. I hope my math does. I suck at math. Actually, I don't know if I like it or not. I don't remember it :)

I have 3 jobs this week. Today I am going to take a lady to do some errands. Tomorrow is 8 hours in a car to go to the north pole. My daughter was laughing at me when I suggested staying overnight. She didn't realize how far the trip was. Who's laughing now? It will be fine. The kids have lots of devices and I will probably do some driving. My SIL has to work the next morning. We won't be home till late. I am going to work at 9 the next day. That's not early, nor will it be all day.

I am watching what I am eating, however, it's not been the best. I am not really tempted by sweets. I don't really like them. I am more of a stuffed baked kind of girl. I made a big batch of chili and have been eating on it for the past few days. So eating hasn't been too bad. I haven't been walking as much as I should. It's been wet and cold. I have been reading lots of blogs and I see that I am not alone. Lots of the bloggers that started when I did have gained back some of their weight. Bottom line, it's hard to maintain a healthy lifestyle all the time. Some days you feel it other days, not so much. Being a recovering drug addict, I am well aware of the chances of relapse. You are more likely to stay in remission of cancer then you are to stay clean for any real length of time. Relapse is part of recovery. It doesn't have to be. I haven't relapsed on meth for the past 11 years, but my addiction has taken me in other directions. Food, to be exact. I am still 80 lbs lighter, but I have about 40 lbs to be where I should be. I have gained back about 20 lbs. Not happy about it, but it's the way it is.

I have decided not to beat myself up. I have made great strides this year in other areas of my life. I feel better now then I did when I was 30. Much better about myself and life in general. I get to decide what I want to be when I grow up. I am scared shitless. Weird right? I want to treat it like it's a great adventure, but inside I am fearful. What of?? Who knows, failure? It's just fear of the unknown. That's ok too. Starting over at 51 is kind of scarey. What counts is I am doing it. I don't know what the future will bring, but I know that I can handle it. I have great family and friends that will stand by and help me.

That's life!

Keep the mood and the food real.............................

BORING ~ ok, not so much

I am having a boring day. My lady canceled on me today. I am trying to conserve my gas, so I decided to stay home today. I have been watching News Radio. Funny show. I decorated my house, have worked on a resume and took the practice tests for my computer final tomorrow. I talked to my sister in Japan. Went for a long walk. LONG WALK. It was freezing this morning. It felt so great. I like cold better then hot, so why do I live in Arizona?? I ask myself that every summer.

I got an A on my final essay. I hope to do ok on the final in computer. I am getting anxious about money again. My 2 ladies have really decreased the time they need me. It's time to get a real job. That makes me anxious too. I need to get a resume together and get to searching. I have been checking out the job web sites. I let my self confidence get in my way. Fear is holding me back. It's time to shake off the fear, and get myself out there. Things always work out for me, but in the mean time, I worry.

I am not a fan of the holidays. This year, since I really have no money, I have just relaxed. I have told my kids that I am keeping it really simple and I already have the Gkids done. We are going as a family to see the temple lights this Saturday. It's kind of a tradition. We always get good pics, so I will post some. It's been along time since I have posted any pics. Not sure why. Next week we are going to the "North Pole" on the train. We, meaning me and my daughter's family. We are going during the week so my son and DIL can't go. I am excited about that too.

I haven't really been watching my food as well I should. I am up on the scale by about 7 lbs. I am not freaking out. I feel like since the doctor I have felt a little down about it all. I lost 100 lbs and I still have to take cholesterol meds and my sugar is still a wee bit high. I need an attitude adjustment. I feel like I am in limbo as far as my life is concerned. Money, work, weight. I haven't felt settled for a while.

School is coming to an end for a few weeks. I meet with an adviser tomorrow. Maybe after I know what's up for next semester I will get focused again. I loved it when school was going full on. It was new and I adapted well.

Well, I guess that's it. I am going to go for a bike ride and then work some more on my resume. I am glad tomorrow is school. I hate days feeling like I have nothing to do. In writing this post I realized that today wasn't as boring as I thought and that really I have lots to look forward to. Train rides, Santa, school and hopefully a new job, VERY SOON. Not to mention that The Middle and Modern Family are on tonight. Smile Dana!! Hope everyone is having a great day.

Keep the mood and the food real..............

Post Thanksgiving Post

Wow! It's been awhile since I have been on to post. Things are busy with the end of the semester and with the holiday. I have been on a gaining binge. Not really sure why, but I have gained like 5 lbs since the holiday weekend. It will go away I know how to make it happen.

Had a great Thanksgiving. My son and DIL hosted with her mother helping and it was awesome. Such a cute little family. Then I went and spent the night with my daughter and her family. We went to Walmart at midnight and MAN was it a mad house. I have never done Black Friday. Won't do it again. It was kind of fun just running in and running out watching people go nuts. They were out of everything my daughter wanted. All the other stuff she got online. Thank goodness for the internet. I did a little point and click myself on Monday. Got the Gkid taken care of and I am going easy on my grown up kids. I can't afford to make all their dreams come true :)

School is going great and I am gearing up for next semester. I actually was a big girl and called the board of nursing to see about getting my license back. Of course the woman was on vacation, so I am going to have to be a big girl all over again. I have been getting some extra work, so that was nice. Hoping it continues through winter break.

I have missed reading and commenting on everyone's blog. Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. If you live here in America we really do have a lot to be thankful for. Despite it's many problems it's still a great place to live.

Keep the mood and the food real....................

Getting Serious....TODAY

I had such a lovely night with my family last night. It's so awesome when the Gkids fight over who gets to sit by me and cry when they have to go home. Who wouldn't love that kind of love and attention. We all had dinner and then went to the temple and watched them put up the Christmas lights. They really put a lot of time and energy into their display. While we were there we watched a movie about families being forever. It really touched my heart. It was a night to remember!

Ever since the Dr told me that I need to lose 20 lbs I can't stop eating. UGH!!! WTF? I know it's the rebel in me. I'll show him, I will gain weight. So dumb. I am going to make this a temporary behavior problem. I am going to get my sh*t together. I am not going to wait till after Thanksgiving or Christmas, I am going to start making improvements NOW !! I want to be around to see my Gkids grow up, get married, have their own children and successful lives. I don't know if I told everyone, but my son and his wife are having a little girl!

So, better get out the door and walk. I need to get back in to swing of daily walking. I am going to Sprouts and buy some fruits and veggies. I go to Mrs H. today. Believe it or not, I am convincing her to get rid of some dogs (remember, she has 4 dogs that she really can't take care of and the dogs are ruining her home ) and together we have cleaned out one room and a few closets and donated a butt load of stuff. Her daughters are so impressed, with both of us :) Makes me feel good.

Everyone have a great day. I know I am going to do my best to make it a great day. In English we are debating the death penalty. Oh, and I got an 81% on my Excel final. I could not be happier about it and about moving on to the next thing!! I really can do HARD THINGS.

Keep the mood and the food real................

BEST WEEKEND EVER

Good Tuesday morning! This past weekend was one of the best ever. First on Saturday I went for a long walk. Felt so GREAT! I forgot just how much I love my walks. Then on Saturday I went to see the movie Tower Heist. I loved it. Just what I was looking for, mindless fun where the Wall Street asshole gets his just desserts. The funniest part to me was when Mathew Broderick tried to go all bad ass on Eddie Murphy's character. It still makes me laugh. It wasn't that of a great movie, but it was just what needed. Then we came back and between 2 different friends I finished my Excel homework. I was just so grateful to have that over with. I took the practice test and another CT test. Real test is today, so I just hope I am ready. Not going to beat myself up. I did my best. If I don't get an A in Excel, I am not going to cry. I have decided that I am going to go ahead and go to the next level of Mircosoft next semester. The teacher really had to hurry us through this semester because our start date was 2 weeks late because of construction, which is still going on, BTW. I felt a lot better, when my friend that uses Excel everyday had no clue on some of the stuff too. Didn't feel so stupid :)

Then Sunday was another LONG walk. I went out and earned a little money helping a friend get her Mom's house ready for a estate sale. Then it was down to see the Gkids. Every year the children of every congregation in my church does a program. Sunday was my Gkids program. PURE JOY!!! I was so proud of them and so proud of my daughter. She is a teacher with the kids and really did a lot to help with the program. Then my SIL was ordained an Elder in what we call the priesthood. We believe this God's power here on earth. Just another step in getting his family to the temple. My heart was so full that day. My emotions have been right on the surface lately so I was a weeper that day. Good weeping.

Bad news is my Dr. appointment yesterday. The new cheaper cholesterol med isn't working, at all. In fact I am back in the dangerous level of triglycerides. So it's back to the other med and the Dr. said the my sugar is a smidgen high. He told me to lose 20-30 lbs. Gee, thanks Doc! I have to admit that my weigh has gone up about 5 lbs since that 188 lbs a few weeks back. So I walked out of there thinking, CRAP! If it's not one thing, it's another. I guess it's back to putting my nose to the grindstone and stop maintaining and do some real loosing!! Back to basics.

Well I best end this. I still have a quick essay to write. I can't believe this semester is so close to being over. Hope that all of you have a great week. I have really tried to keep up with my most fave bloggers, but man, it's hard!

Keep the mood and the food real.............

A GIft

Good Morning! I hope everyone is enjoying their life where ever they are. Life is plugging right along for me. I am really struggling with excel, but I have been offered a tutor and so far I haven't needed it. It seems to just matter that it's there waiting for me. Isn't that how it is with lots of things in life.

I have had this habit of living in the future. I am scared to death that even after a little school I am not going to be able to get a job that will pay enough to support me. The job I had at the school, if I get serious with myself, paid me much more then I probably deserved. I really don't have the skills to match the money I was getting. I feel like a hypocrite. I am so mad that they pay their own family too much, but it was ok when I was working there. Yep, hypocrite. Actually, I was making a living wage, not a lot, but living. I

My goal is try to live in the present, that's why they call it a gift....lol. It only makes me nervous and worried. Guess what, I can't do anything about the future. I just have to be prepared for it. Both temporally and spiritually. Right now I am doing my best in both areas. So there ya go!

I am about the same on the scale. Low 190's last time I weighed. I haven't walked in days. Really need to take care of that. I am really letting this go, and it's not good. Been doing some stress eating, it's to be expected. I just have to rein it in. School will be over for about 5 weeks in about 4 weeks. WOW! I guess I am going to continue with the next computer class. I really need to. Time marches on, an so will I! You really never know what the Lord has in store for you.

Keep the mood and the food real......

Another Crazy Dream!

Another job found me! More hours and good money. The only draw back is the woman never stops talking. If it was uplifting I would love it. She complained for a solid 6 hours yesterday. Bless her daughter's heart, that's all I can say. How the daughter turned out to positive in any way is a miracle! The woman is obsessed with keeping her money. She has lots of money, and she can't take it with her. Her daughter is taking her to the Dr. and dentist and trying to do what's best for her. All she sees is $$$$ "flying out the window". Her words, not mine. Anyway, I am going to do my best to be a force for good in her life. Wish me luck!

I have been eating more lately. I am up 2 lbs from last week. I haven't been able to walk in a few days, which is crazy, cause the weather has been wonderful! I am going to reset my priorities and get back on track. I went food shopping, that's always a step in the right direction.

I had a crazy dream last night that Taylor Lautner (is that how you spell that werewolf's name)? Anyway, we were on our honeymoon (told you it was a dream) yet he refused to consummate the marriage. Story of my life :) Made me wake up with a headache. I have no idea why I dreamed about him. I am not a fan, at all. Anyway, dang I thought I might get a little action. Dream sex is ok, right?? It's the only kind of sex I have had in over 10 years...lol.

I have been reading a lot of new blogs and finding a bunch of new wisdom. Loved Dawn's latest post. She really is my hero! I can't wait to see when Shelly runs again. It's the little things that make me smile.

Well I am off to try and figure out this damn Excel homework. I am sucking at Excel. Going to need some extra help. I am going to buy 2 class mates a Subway gift card. Not much, but at least I can buy them lunch. They have really helped me out! It's almost Friday. Where has the week gone?

Keep the mood and the food real..............

Ended Up Being a Great Week !

I ended up having a wonderful week. I got an A on my computer test and I feel like my compare/contrast essay will knock it out of the park. I am comparing my life before and then after all my drug days. It is truly a night and day contrast.

Yesterday I helped Mrs H muck out her craft room. I ended up getting a bunch of tops, 3 dresses and a nice pair of dress pants. SCORE! Every thing still had the tags on them. She really has A LOT of clothes. I was really proud of her and the way she made snap decision to keep or toss. She tossed 3 car loads of stuff. The people at Goodwill should be very happy. She donated so much crafty stuff too.

My weight was up 3 lbs after the pig feast last weekend, but as of today I am back down to 188.2 lbs. SMILING FROM EAR TO EAR! I am going to go for a long bike ride this morning. It is actually cool this morning. I will need a jacket. I love this time of year.

This weekend I have the kids school Halloween party party tonight then tomorrow is Javi's football game. Sunday my SIL will be receiving the Melchizedek Priesthood. We believe that this is God's power here on earth. It is a gift given to men, but it is accessible to women through men. Women get the opportunity to raise nations! That is a very humbling thought. Now I will be able to get a blessing from a family member. I haven't had that opportunity since I got that powerful blessing from my Brother-in-law. I have lots to be grateful for!

Off to catch up on all of you. Gonna clean my house and then I have a lunch date with my old co-worker. I really have missed. There won't be any drinking this time, she's preggers! Have a great weekend......

Keep the mood and the food real.................

Things always work out

They really do. I got all worked up over nothing. It did, however make me really take a good look at my future. I have some big decisions to make! At least I am going to make them and they are not going to be made for me.

I am excited to vote. I am voting against the A-hole that put forth that SB1070 legislation. Feels good to be able to make my voice heard. He will probably get reelected ( this is a recall vote ). I haven't voted since I was a kid. WOW! Occupy the Vote!

School today and then I visit Mrs. H. Had fun watching the baby and the girls last night. Anxious to get this day started. I walked with my old walking buddy yesterday morning. Felt like old times. I have to admit, I reverted back to stuffing the old pie hole over the weekend. Stress eating for sure. I felt like I was loosing an old friend yesterday when Roxie said goodbye. I will miss her wise words.

On to see what you guys are up too.

Keep the mood and the food real!

I am worthy of all good things

I am worthy of all good things. I am in scared of life mode again. Financial stuff always does this to me. I received a blessing last night to give me courage. I have faith things will all work out. Faith trumps fear, remember that!

Keep the mood and the food real.

ok, so it wasn't that long of a break :)

Well I said I wasn't going to post, but here I am. I am feeling great. Got all my homework done for the weekend, except something pretty easy. Whoopee!! It was The 2 youngest Gkids Bdays yesterday. I can't believe it has been a year since Zander was born. He is walking and has just the cutest personality. I am really blessed. Tatum is 4 and loves Hello Kitty. She got a Hello Kitty bike and I am giving her a Hello Kitty movie. Cassie sent me picture on FB of her on the bike, so cute.

I weighed this morning and low and behold I am down to 188.2. I am seriously freaking out with happiness. Yesterday I was coming home from a long day and I thought I don't want to cook. I think I will go to McD's to get a Big Mac. Fortunately, I came to my senses when I saw a Subway before I got there and stopped for a sandwich instead. It's stuff like this that make me happy with myself. It wasn't even a hard decision. I just really didn't want to cook. My overeating has gotten so much better now that I am so much busier. School has payed off in so many ways!

Mrs King, my lady that lost her hubs about 2 weeks ago, well she fell trying to close her blinds and is now in a nursing home. I was visiting her when her son called to tell her that she wouldn't be able to go home. I felt so bad for her. It was really a big blow for her. In the matter of just a few days her life has been turned upside down. It is such a good reminder for me of who is Large and in charge, the Lord. That I can't see around the corner sometimes, but He can. She has a good attitude about the whole thing. She is trying to see it as a new adventure for her. That she would probably be just too lonely at home by herself anyway. She is such a good example of someone who accepts her life and tries to make the best of it.

Well I am off the food store. Going to get some stuff to fix dinner for a young mother in my church that is coming home this afternoon with a new baby. Life is GREAT! Hope your weekend turns out to be a good one. I know mine will. Anxious to see my family at my Gson's football game tomorrow morning. Then I am going to be working cleaning out another lady's house with her daughter. This lady moved in with the daughter. It seems when Heavenly Father closes a money window, he seems to open another one for me. I am grateful.

Keep the mood and the food real...............

Popping in Post

Holy Cow! I think this is the longest I have gone without posting. That's saying something. What with school and work I have been busy. To tell the truth I really don't have a lot to blog about. Life is going well. I haven't really been dieting, but maintaining below 200. So I am happy with that.

I have been enjoying my Gkids ( of course ). Last weekend it was football, this Saturday is football too. We will meet up with my son and his wife. They are loving their new home and just finished painting the downstairs a lovely yellow. My daughter and the kids have been sick so I haven't been out this week. I don't want to get sick, that's for sure. There is this head cold thing going around. I don't make a very good sick person.

I haven't been keeping up with any of you either. Once I deleted my blog roll, I've gotten lazy. I only read just a few anymore anyway. I probably won't be posting as much. Like a lot of blogger, I really don't think I have a lot to blog about. Just the day to day. Plus I am writing so much for English class. Anyway just popping by. Hope you are all doing well. I plan on catching up soon.

Keep the mood and the food real...........

Weekend Wrap Up

I had a great weekend. Saturday I went to work for both of my ladies. I was icky sicky on Friday, so I made up for lost time. Then I went and picked up my Gkids, all FOUR of them Saturday evening. I am so glad I did. We had a blast. Made french toast Sunday morning. We then went for the 1st time of this season to the bird park! I love the bird park, and so do they. The 1st thing they always do is get a stick to go fishing. We spend the 1st 30 mins trying to find just the right stick :) We spent about 2 hours there. Then we headed out to their place. Javi had to give a talk in church. He and I wrote it while he was at my house. It was cute getting to watch him give the talk. Then I headed home and to bed early. That is a full weekend for me. We also stopped at Petco and I walked out with 4 new fish. Cheap fish. The kids love it. I am a sucker.

I am way down on the scales for the past couple of time 191.2. Lowest in a long time. I am finding that keeping busy really helps me to not think about food as much. Well, that and I have been having hormones from hell. It's been crazy, I thought I was over with my monthly, guess not. Seems like the past couple have months I have had one. I really has reeked havoc with me emotionally, but I have lived through it. Anyway, enough of the bad....

I am still loving school and I plan on going again next semester. It's hard,but in a good way. I got another little job once a week as well, so life is plugging right along. I really wanted to go see my sister for the girl cousin party, but alas, I don't think I will be able to. It's ok. I don't think I went last year either. I wish I could just drive. I could , I guess, but my little car has worked so well for me, I don't want to make her work really, really hard. My daughter and her hubs bought a newer, more expensive used Honda, and it is already in the shop with blown head caskets. Not so good. Theirs was under warranty, but I wouldn't be so lucky. I bought mine from a kid my last trip to Utah, no warranty included.

Well I best be saying so long, farewell. I am walking with my old walking buddy. She has the whole week off for Fall Break. I think I will stop by my son's on the way home from Mrs King's this afternoon. Just to say hello, maybe help them with unpacking. I have no big plans for this week, suppose to go to the doctor's this afternoon, but think I will postpone it till I get some blood work done. It's all done on a cash basis now, ouch!

Keep the mood and the food real................

Steve Jobs, 56

Wow! I didn't know that I would feel this bad about his passing. I don't own a ipad or Iphone. What I do relate to is his age. So young, 56. I am 51. They have been running a clip of a commencement speech. He said to live each day like it is your last. Good advice. I am a real attitude of gratitude this morning.

After abusing my body through drug and food abuse I am very lucky to be in as good of health as I am in. I haven't ever had to be hospitalized for anything other then having a baby. ( knock on wood, or my head, as I like to do ) I can still get around very well for a woman of 51. I can't run, due to a bum knee, but I do walk every morning. Sometimes I take that for granted. Not this morning. This morning I am getting on my knees and thanking a loving Heavenly Father for all the good things he has blessed me with. I have much to be grateful for!

I didn't sleep well last night. Woke up at 10 pm and didn't go back to sleep until around 12:30 am. Back awake at 4 am. It's ok. I have a test in computer class, but all in all I have pretty easy day. I am still in awe of how well Mrs. King is doing since the passing of her hubs less than a week ago. Yesterday she had a bit of a crying jag, but heck, she deserves it. I was glad I could be there. She loves to talk. She really is a bit of a story teller. All I did yesterday was basically visit. I felt bad to charge her, she insisted. She has good neighbors, so I felt ok about leaving her.

I am going to drop off my car to get serviced today. I think I will drop my bike off to get the tires pumped up and serviced as well. It has really cooled off and I am anxious to start riding again. It is suppose to not hit 80 today and RAIN. Love it!

Going to take Mrs H to see the Dolphin Tale movie today. Like I said, an easy day. Hope everyone has had a good week. I have. No big plans for the weekend. I have to teach in Sunday School. That's about it. I am going to plug The Mormon Channel one more time. I have listened to the best podcasts this week, not to mention General Conference. You don't have to be a Mormon to enjoy great messages.

Keep the mood and the food real..........

Fast Weekend!

Monday! Where did the weekend go? My teacher found my glasses. I thought I was going to have to buy new ones. So I consider myself lucky. Saturday was Mr. King's wake. It was nice and I got to meet the family and friends that she loves to talk about. I listened to General Conference Saturday morning and then again Sunday morning. After the morning session I rode out to my daughter's and snuggled with the Gkids and read them stories and listened with one ear to Conference. They replay them on the lds.org website plus the church has a free app called The Mormon Channel. So I will be listening to what a missed this week on my walks.

Stopped at my son's on the way home and unloaded the last of the fruit salad that I had left over from the wake. They are such a cute couple, and so happy to be in their cute little home.

A quote that I loved from Conference was by a Young Woman leader who said "Be loyal to the royal". Meaning be loyal to yourself. The Royal that is God given, from a loving Heavenly Father. I will post that on my mirror.

Today it's off to Mrs. King's. All her family will be gone by now. I am sure it really hasn't hit her that her companion is really gone. I expect that there will be some crying. I have big shoulders to cry on. She has been very stoic since he passed. Then this afternoon I am going to see my 5 year old Gson perform at his Hip Hop recital. He was so cute yesterday. I said you look so grown up today. And he said GeGe I am growing slowly, like I promised you. Melted my heart.

Hope everyone has a great Monday! Be loyal to your ROYAL!

Keep the mood and the food real............

I Really Have Changed !

Friday, Friday! I have no homework this weekend. You can just imagine the huge smile on my face. I am going to redo the computer project we did in class, but that's just to make sure I can recreate it on my own. I turned in my "big" essay yesterday. I wrote about my Little Lady from last year at this time. She was easy to write about, she was such a character. It made me miss her like crazy.

I am helping out tomorrow at Mr. King's wake tomorrow. I will get to meet all his family. That's the fun part. I am walking every day again. Weight is down again this week. Lowest in over a year. It feels good to have my pants falling off my butt!

This weekend is also General Conference. This happens twice a year. Our church leaders come together and give us uplifting messages and guidance. You watch via the internet at lds.org. It's on at 10:00 MST. Listen in, it always makes me feel better. About life in general and about me. If you miss it live, the rerun it and there will be a link on the website.

I have noticed that my eating has become routine. The way I eat. I haven't been to a fast food place, besides Subway since I moved in to the new place. I have been too busy to think about food. Whoopee! Being busy is really good, at least for me it is. Not too busy, but not having all that free time to eat and think about eating. I have really changed! It just happened. Over time without me really noticing. I feel good about that. I was so afraid when I stopped smoking that my weight would shoot up, but it didn't. I put thought and behavior modification back in June, but it hasn't been as hard as thought it would be. I really am my own worse enemy. Slowly that is changing too!

Have a great weekend!

Keep the mood and the food real..............

Mr King Passed Today

Mr King passed away today. Yesterday his wife released back to Heavenly Father. I consider that to be the most amazing act of faith. They had just celebrated their 64th wedding anniversary at the 1st of this month. I will miss seeing them at the breakfast table drinking their instant coffee with CNN blasting in the background. They loved Nutella on toast. Every morning!

I think I still have a job. She will need someone to check in on everyday. I am waiting to see if the daughter talks her into going back Ohio. I am all for whatever is best for her. I love this lady! Still not freaking out. What will be will be.

I hope I can show as much faith as she has. I can do hard things.

keep the mood and the food real...............

Time Marchs On

Well life has been marching on. School has been going great. I am getting better with the typing, still have a ways to go. Last Sunday the kids came over to watch the game. My daughter is a Cardinals fan and my son is a Redskins fan. My daughter brought all kinds of good stuff to eat. I had to leave early to go to church. I taught my class and it went ok. I didn't feel like I was very prepared. Next month will be better.

On the food and exercise front?? Well I have been been making pretty good choices. I am down on the scales as of yesterday morning. Still wearing my size 14's. I feel really good about myself at this time. Going to enjoy it, cause I know that the tide can turn, and then I will be back to self loathing. Walking every morning at least 2 miles. I love listening to The Mormon Channel. It's an app I get on my phone and it is full of such good stuff. Technology is the BOMB!

I still have boxes that need to be unpacked. My new place is bigger then my old place. I feel like I need more furniture. Alas, I have no money for anything new. It will just have to echo in my downstairs. I do LOVE it here though. It was so nice to have a decent air conditioner and lots of room for my kids and GKids on Sunday!

Tonight I am going to a dinner for my BFF. It was planned my another friend of hers. Lots of friends coming so it should be fun. That other friend kind of drives me nuts, but she has a good heart and shouldn't be that way. My daughter will be there as well, so I am glad of that.

I am writing my descriptive essay on my Little Lady that I took care of a year ago. While writing it I cried a little. I really miss her. Mr. King had a stroke, but it looks like Mrs. King is going to keep me employed. Bless her heart. I don't know how long it will last. There is really just a limited amount of stuff to do at her house now, and I am sure a care center will cost her lots of money. They aren't rich, by any stretch of the the imagination. I am strangely not freaking out. Something always come up for me. I will be putting feelers out there to see if I can find something else just in case. I am still going to Mrs. H. We went to see The Debit yesterday. I really liked it. Still trying to clean out her house, but it's kind of a loosing battle :(

I guess that's it for the week. I have missed not having my blogroll, but it has forced me to branch out and read other blogs that I haven't read before. This really is a great community of people! Have a great weekend. I have a baby shower and then a church broadcast tomorrow evening.

Keep the mood and the food real................

removed

I guess I needed to remove my blog roll. Another blogger has been attacked. I hope I can remember everyone I love. I will get it back when things settle down.

The World is My Oyster

I have been having crazy dreams again. Last night I was living in bondage. I kept trying to save my Gkids from "the people." Don't ask me who the people are. Anyway, I kept waking up so I would stop dreaming it, but I kept right on dreaming the same damn thing. I finally decided to just get up. Maybe I will get a nap today. I plan on going to the computer lab this morning. Getting my assignments done. That way I will have help if I need it. I won't get as frustrated. Well, that's the plan. I need to find my mouse.

My Gson has a football game this morning at 8 am. Going to go watch for awhile. Still working on the typing skills. I suck. Shelly asked how I got through Jr. High. Well in my hick town I guess they didn't think it was important. I wish so bad that I had learned it when I was young. It is hard to teach an old dog new tricks. I am trying right now to even type properly, but I make so many mistakes. Not giving up just yet, especially since I have paid for the online class. Practice Practice Practice!!

I have to teach Sunday. I need to get a lesson together. I seem so over whelmed. So much to do. Yesterday morning I got a few more things unpacked. I still need to put my knick-knacks around. It doesn't feel like home just yet, but it will.

I completed a huge spiritual goal this past week. I am very proud. Things are going good in the no smoking area. Better then I thought. Why didn't I stop earlier? I haven't gained any weight, really. In fact I have lost. That was my reason for not stopping. I thought I would gain weight. I am consistently under 200 lbs. With everything I have going on I will take it. I was looking at old pictures. Man, I was so big. How did I ever walk around in the body. I remember my heart pounding going up and down the stairs of my house. Walking one mile was an event. I am happy with the life I have now. So much better.

Well, if I am going to walk I better wrap it up. Grateful for all the opportunities that are available to me. Really! I The world is my oyster!

Keep the mood and the food real............

Out the Door

So I walked 3 miles yesterday morning. Plan on getting 2 miles in before school. I am taking the typing class. UGH! I suck. I can't, not look at the screen. I just keep practicing. And practicing. I am not giving up just yet.

My weight is up a little but that was no surprise. Yesterday Mrs. King was talking care center again for her hubs. Making me nervous, but not freaked. Got my hairs cut. Didn't have the creepy experience that Roxie did :) It is short though. Kind of glad that it is.

Well I guess I didn't have that much to say. Need to get out the door. Hope every one is having a great week.

Keep the mood and the food real................

Oh My Toe!

Tuesday already? Well class today wasn't too bad. I have to improve my typing skills. I can't not look at the keyboard. I type so slow. Signed up for an online typing class. Anywoo, felt a lot better about computers in general. Got 100% of all assignments done. (wipes brow with hankie)

Last night I had to get an in grown toe nail taken care of. Ouch! I want to walk in the morning. I will have to see how it feels in a sneaker. Wish me luck. I haven't walked with any regularity since I moved. So it's time to get back at it. Food has been crap too. Not really bad, but bad enough. I haven't been on the scales. Think I will wait a bit to do that. I fit into those 14s. Why mess with it.

Had the oldest Gson over for Saturday night. Went to see Spy Kids. It was just ok. He loved it. Then we went shopping and then it RAINED!!! I know lots of excitement for rain. It poured. We were drenched between the car and front door. Of course, I couldn't get the door open and the water was pouring off the roof. It was so much fun. We dried off and snuggled and watched TV till I fell asleep. I am going to take advantage of this time. It won't last forever.

Sunday I went to church with my daughter and her family. The 5 year old gave his 1st talk in Sunday School. Too cute. I loved seeing my daughter up there helping him. Made me cry. I have such good kids.

Tonight it's book club. It was a short little book I read yesterday morning. I don't really want to go, but I need to start getting out more. I used to go all the time. The girl that took it over isn't my cup of tea, so I haven't been. I don't have to like everyone, and everyone doesn't have to like me. Just won't happen. If I don't want to go I don't have to. Right?? Tonight I will go for my BFF. She doesn't want to go alone, so I want to go for her. Tomorrow it's the King's. It looks like for now my job is safe. She doesn't want to put him in a care center just yet. They have been married 64 years. It's hard. They are just the sweetest.

Been keeping up with all of you. Haven't really commented, but know that I am lurking. It's not suppose to get out of the 90's this week. Thank the Lord!! I am so ready for cooler weather.

Keep the mood and the food real....................

Haapy Birthday to ME!

It was a great Bday. I went to class in the morning. First computer class. Holy Hell!! I was so lost. I felt so lost and frustrated and stressed out. I know that I went into being fearful, but WOW !! Computers kind of scare me. I know that I can do it. It will get easier, but I wanted to cry. I need to sit next to some young kid that will help me. I need one on one.

Then it was off to Scottsdale to work for Mrs H. I thought we were going shopping and out to lunch, but her daughter was there, so it was hard labor for me. It wasn't bad and I only stayed a couple of hours. Then it was home to take it easy. I am telling you, that TV was the best money I've spent in the while. I know that it's a huge waste of time, but I do enjoy it. Still no more unpacking. I am not going to worry about it. When I feel like it, it will happen. I just don't have it in me. I am spent both mentally and physically. When big change is involved, even this wonderful change, I kind of shut down. Besides, I haven't felt well and between school, work, and family, well I just need more time.

I wore my size 14s yesterday. Haven't bee able to fit comfortably into those pants in over a year, I was unable to find my scales yet, so no weigh in. Besides, why ruin the good feeling...lol. I feel thinner though. I haven't walked all week. It has been a long time since that has happened. I will find my mojo again. It's not unpacked either :) Having so much to do has really curbed my eating overall.

I was over whelmed by all my Bday wishes on FB and here on my blog. I really do have lots of really great people in my life!! Some of my greatest friends are of the cyber variety. I feel the love and all that great energy that came my way.

I think the Kings, the couple I take care of, are getting pressure to put the hubs in a home. He is getting harder for her to take of on a daily basis. He is getting aggressive. I might be loosing my job. I feel weirdly not freaked out. I am not used to not worrying. I am sure it will hit me, though. Maybe not, maybe I will feel peace and trust. It could happen!

Well better wrap this up and get in the shower. I am going out to have breakfast with the Gboys for Gparent day at the school. I am kind of excited. My 5 year Gson doesn't know. It's a surprise. We went out to dinner last night and had a quick fun time. The oldest Gson gets his one on one with GeGe this weekend. I think we are going to see Spy Kids. Then swimming. Then I am going to church on Sunday with them. The 5 year is giving his 1st talk in Sunday School. I love my church. Everyone have a great weekend.

Keep the mood and food real...........

Wasting TIme

I am not feeling it. I wish I was. I have had a hard time bouncing back from the move. With the back and the heat I have not had any mojo. I haven't wanted to do anything. I have had a stomach bug too. I haven't been eating the best and haven't been walking either. BOO! It shouldn't last too much longer. I just need a chance to regroup.

The kids talked me into buying a TV that has WiFi. So glad I did. I put it in the living room. It has gotten me out of my bedroom, which is were I have been know to hyphenate. I have been watching Cosby. Big waste of time. I should be unpacking, but like I said, not feeling it.

I am still loving school. The teacher read my essay out loud in front of the class because he liked it so much. One of three read. I was so proud. It was about some one who made a difference in my life. I cried when I wrote it. This writing thing is very therapeutic. Well, duh. Why have I blogged for over 2 years. I think I am going to take a typing class. It's going to be hard to be in the computer class and type the way I type. I have to look at the keyboard. So I am going to do an online class. I need to get back to admissions. Like I said , wasting time.

So I guess I need to kick my butt in gear. I need to get off this couch and get with it. So I guess I am going to sign off.

Keep the mood and the food real...............

Bed Rest

I am taking a day off from life. My back is killing. I was moving boxes around and pulled something. So no church. It's the bed for me. Boring. I have watched 2 seasons of Everybody Loves Raymond. Season 5 is the best. I am watching About a Boy right now and scanning blogs and facebook. Working on some homework. I am looking forward to my kids coming over tomorrow for a get together. Wish I could unpack. I have done a little, but wish it was all done. I have a bed to sleep in. I know where my clothes are and I went food shopping yesterday. I unpacked the pots and pans. So I have the basics put away.

Bed rest makes me hungry. So far it's been strawberries, nectarines, corn, chicken, and it's not even dinner time. Thought the muscle relaxer my friend brought over would make me sleep. I do best with those things one at a time. When you sleep you can't eat...lol No such luck.

So, guess it's back to the movie. Hope everyone is enjoying their long weekend. I am working tomorrow, but just a couple of hours. I did take some before pics. Will hoping fully have some after pics this next week.

Keep the mood and the food real........

DONE !!

I am all moved as of 9:22 AM. It was a hot, hard job, but it's done. All the young hubs in my church were at a marriage and family class, so I got stuck with old men that couldn't lift more then 10 lbs:) That's not quite true. My son and SIL helped. I got 3 young men to help me yesterday morning, then we moved the rest of the stuff this morning. It was mostly all out by last night. The really big stuff.

So I love it and I couldn't be happier. I am going to take my time unpacking and go through my crap, most of it is, and donate a lot of stuff. The air conditioning is SO much better. The place is so much bigger. I am just so glad it's done. Yesterday while I was moving I just kept thinking about what Shelly said, something about it being worth suffering for a day. She was right. I can say that now, that it's done :)

I love fresh starts! Have a good long weekend.

Keep the mood and the food real.......

Moving Day

Today is the day. It's moving day. I am anxious to see how this plays out. I only saw the new place once. I can't really remember it. I just remember that it's not this place. Moving out and up! Gotta keep it short, I have some more home work to do. Another spelling test today.

Like I said, strangely not freaking out. Last night's dream? I was on a boat with Betty White and there was a typhoon. Was wondering if I should tie myself to the boat or put on a life jacket. I wonder what that means. Any thoughts?

I was reading posts from this time last year. Made me cry. I stayed in that work situation for way to long. I remember how degraded I felt. Today I can see that it was the best thing that happened to me. Then I thought they had ruined my life. Getting fired at 50, on my birthday. Yep, best thing that happened to me.

Keep the mood and the food real........

Things I am grateful for this morning

Things that I am grateful for this morning!

That I saw 2 new dogs on my walk this morning. I like dogs, but only when they aren't mine.

That it looks like I am not going to get the help I thought I was going to get to move, but strangely I am not freaking out...progress, no? I am not on any time limit, just my own. I want out of here and to have an orderly house again.

That my garden is still thriving despite this heat. AND that I get to take it with me. It's all in pots! Smartest move I made this summer.

That I have picked out who I am going to write my in class essay about and have actually written some notes. The day the the assignment was given! Who am I? Did I say that I am loving school?

That I walked 2 miles this morning. Blisters are still a little raw. I keep forgetting to get those socks Dawn told me about.

Sleep was a little better. Still dreamed I was lost in Walmart. Weird, right?? Just couldn't get home. I knew it was a dream while I was dreaming it. I woke up when the police tried to arrest me for vagrancy :) Yea, I think I need to move!

BEST THING I weighed this morning 195.6. I haven't been this low in months. I haven't been trying really. Just staying away from the drive thrus and eating food I cook. Walking 5 days a week.

Hope you find things that make you grateful today!

Keep the mood and the food real............

Dana C......Zombie Fighter

It is 96 degrees at 4:30 am. What the Freak?? I am not going walking this morning, I don't think, anyway. The blisters are still touchy, and I wore my sneakers all day yesterday. ( bad idea ) I might go just a mile. Clear the old noggin. I am trying real hard not to get stressed out or overwhelmed by everything. The move, school, preparing for my next lesson in Sunday school, MONEY. You know the usual stuff. I think that I am just so damn happy to be getting out of here that I feel some stress falling away the closer I get.

Or not. As you will see by my dream last night. I was fighting zombies till 1:30 am. They really never die. It was quite frightening. I finally woke myself up at 1:30 and wanted to cry because I really needed more sleep. So I said a little prayer that I wouldn't dream the same thing. I went back to bed. Prayer answered, but I spent the rest of night looking for my car in Walmart parking lot. With an old boyfriend that thought he was going home with me. Thank goodness I never found the damn car. At 4:30 I thought enough is enough and just gave up and got up. Tried to look up an interpretation. Found nothing about, except a lot of links to finding my dream car...lol . So, there you have it. After fighting Zombies and looking for my car all night I am exhausted.

I am going to Mrs. H's house today. She wants to go see The Help again. She's buying, so I go. Not a bad gig, if you can get it. She says she didn't quite get all the dialog last time. Yesterday the funniest, saddest thing happened at the Kings....that's what I will call the couple I take care of Mon, Wed, Fri. Mr K has Alzheimer's. Pretty advanced. Mrs K and I were in the other room and we could hear him talking. I found him having a fight with the man in the closet mirrors. All out fight. Telling that SOB he better get out of here and fast. Demanding the SOB in the mirror to answer him. I thought he was going to punch the mirror. Some day he probably will. She says he does it a lot lately. She laughed. Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying. Makes my petty problems look, well petty. My Blanding friend told me while I was there, Dana you have got to remember there's a difference between a lump in your breast and a lump in your oatmeal. Well spoken, my dear friend.

I am tried of watching the news in the morning. Yes, yes I know I say that a lot. I have found it sets the tone for the entire day. Believe it or not the world does not quit spinning if I don't turn on CNN to just make sure it is. I am reading and meditating more. Gonna give myself a couple more spelling tests, then it's off to school for me. I really do love it. Computer class starts Tuesday. Hope I like it just as well.

Hope everyone's Tuesday is wonderful. Stay cool and for those in the east stay dry. You are in my prayers.

Keep the mood and the food real.................

Things that made me smile this morning

Ok I am copying Roxie, but here goes,

1. My air conditioning is leaking on to the carpet. I am moving out of this sht hole in 2 days.

SMILE!

2. I love my new English Composition class. Ready for my spelling test and the response I just wrote. Smile !

3. I have a ton of friends helping me move. Smile.

4. I walked 3 miles in the heat but I did it...Smile

5. I feel like a new person! I can't wait to get into my new place! Smile.

Not as long or as adventurous as Roxie's, but hey, it's a start.

Riding the storm out

I am posting to keep from walking. Those dang blisters are still a pain. I need to just double up on bandaids and bite the bullet and JUST DO IT! I took a weekend off from kids. I am planning on packing up as much of the rest of the house as possible. I definitely will have the keys on the 1st. I need to go get some cleaning stuff to get this place cleaned before I give the keys back. I am hoping that a big bunch of men from my church sign up to help me move. They usually do. If I can get the move in before the holiday week end, I am sure I will. I am getting very excited.

I asked the kids to buy me some new bedding for my Bday. I want to room to totally different. I want it to be just a lovely place. That's were I spend most of my time. I sent my daughter so many emails of "suggestions" she thought she was being spammed by Kohls. :) I was bored on evening and my back hurt, sue me.

There is something wrong with my Ipod. I can't get it to hold onto any of my music. UGH! I can't do any buying of anything, really, until I have moved in. I makes moving, walking, riding in cars, well just life in general sucky. But I have the strength to carry on. Inspiring aren't I?

Anywoo, I enrolled in the gym class at school. Which gives me a gym membership there at the school. A very good decision. It's a little far away, but it will work. Besides I will be there anyway. I am so sick of walking in the heat.

Well That's it for this end. Guess I best get busy. If you live on the east coast please take care. I am so glad I have a 72 hour kit. Being prepared is a great way to feel. I pray that it's not as bad as they say and that the storm does not live up to the hype.

Keep the mood and the food real.............

Blisters

Man I wore the cutest shoes yesterday to school. They gave me the cutest little blisters you ever did see. I can't hardly walk this morning without it hurting. Needless to say the cute shoes are being donated. I am the oldest person in my English class. Trying to dress like a college aged person is just not worth it. I signed up for a life time fitness class. Which means I will have free rein of the gym at school. I have to get in a 20 minute orientation class. That will happen on Tuesday. I am loving school. I am anxious for the changes that are going to happen so very soon. Usually I freak out. So far no freak.

What is freaking me out is this HEAT. So sick of heat advisories. Do walking today. Blisters kill. Not getting a gkid this weekend either. I need a break from them too. I need to get my house all packed up. I will make it up to them next week. After I am in the new place. The "new place"!! Makes me so excited. Last night my friend from Blanding was in town and they took me out to eat at Red Lobster. I just got a salad and a Shrimp Cocktail. It was good and filling. My friend and I both flaked out on water aerobics. I was exhausted and fell asleep at around 7 pm.

Well that was my Thursday. Boring, just like I like it!

Keep the mood and the food real.................

Spiritual Goals

Wow! Where did the week go? I haven't done lick of packing. My friend will be coming today and then I am going to try and get lots done Saturday. No playing this weekend. Work! Work! Work! I have been doing ok this both work and school. Weight was down again this Wed...197.6. I was pleasantly surprised once again. I have been walking all mornings but Tuesday and Thursday. I have school very early and this morning I am going to finish some homework. I was thinking of ways to make it better, so I am going to do it. I have to go over some spelling words. I am a pretty good speller, so I hope I do ok.

Went to my Bishop last night and I have achieve a huge spiritual goal that I have been shooting for, for a long time. My son and his wife have bought a house. Went and looked at that. Very nice. Hope they will be happy there.

Well that's really about it for now. I best get to that homework. It's suppose to be more intense heat this weekend. I will be so glad to have summer over. SO GLAD.

Have a great weekend.....Keep the mood and the food real...........

Self Respect

Things are crazy busy here lately! I am trying to make 3 old ladies happy ( never easy ) plus I had my Gdaughter over the weekend. Trying to eat right and get in my walking. It was mostly swimming this weekend. I am on my way out the door after this, to walk 3 miles in the dang heat. Food has been ok. 2 movies yesterday, only got popcorn with one. Went to see Sarah's Key. It's a french film with lots of subtitles, but it was very well done. I hope people will see it. It's about what the French (led by the Germans ) did to the Jews in 1942 during the occupation. I also saw the The Help last week with Mrs H. Bigotry! Some people will believe all kinds of crap to support their prejudices. Man, the friend I went to Sarah's Key with had no idea that the Germans ever occupied France. I LOVE history. Going to try and add a history class this semester. Since I got a bigger scholarship then I thought.

I still can't believe that I start school on TUESDAY! I figured out and then bought my books online last night. Too proud of myself. Damn near broke my arm patting my own back :) I pick them up tomorrow at the book store and then I will meet a sweet "young" friend who will show me where my classes are. I feel like I should go out and buy knee highs and a plaid skirt! I still get to keep all my jobs, as I started all my classes as early as possible. The weather will be getting cooler and I am sure I will need to mix up the walking routine. For now I will just do what I can.

House is full of good food. Drank lots of water. Being busy will go along way in keeping me from shoving crap down the old pie hole. Plus I need to start packing up to move. Everything I put on my list of things to do while I was in Blanding in "exile" are coming true. I CAN MAKE THINGS HAPPEN ! I am sure that my "ward" family will help with the move and it will be done in a flash. I might live out of boxes for awhile, but hell, who cares? I won't be paying the ex boss's mortgage anymore. That goes along way in getting my self respect back. I am you know. Getting my self respect back. Feels darn good!

Have a great Sunday and rest of the week!

Keep the mood and the food real....................

DANCED A GIG!

I have great news! I got a huge scholarship that will more then pay for school. So I think I am going to go full time. I was excited when I found that out last night that I actually danced a gig! Yes, a gig. Weigh in sucked. Too many nuts. Up to 200 again. BOO! The Olive Garden Birthday Dinner didn't help either. It was lots of fun though. I have been eating good for me food. Cooking for myself more. So I can deal.

The world is my oyster! I haven't been this excited in a very long time. I love school and can't wait to get my learn on. I am working for the Kings and Mrs. H and they love me and I love them. Feeling lucky and blessed, blessed, blessed! Move out is soon as well. Looking forward with faith and love.

I have been walking outside. It has been HOT! But doable. So I do. This is a short post. Got to get out the door, before it get unbearable!

Thanks Jackie for the guest post! Hope you all read it.

Keep the mood and the food real...........

Jackie's Arc (guest post)

I also wanted to share a new blogger with you. Jackie @ Jackie's Arc. She asked to guest post and I readily agreed. Her blog is upbeat and very informative. Make sure you follow her! Now here's...........Jackie!

Losing Weight Is Never Easy

By: Jackie Clark

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could lose weight just as quickly as we can pack it on? Unfortunately, losing weight is notoriously difficult, and many people give up before they are able to lose the necessary amount of weight. Other common pitfalls are eating too many calories after a work-out, or becoming just another weekend warrior. Furthermore, there are important ways to help you lose weight consistently.

It's important to consume enough calories when you are trying to lose weight, especially when you have a rare condition such as mesothelioma that is triggered from asbestos exposure. Eating too little will actually program your body into "starvation mode", so that it holds onto calories. This is why many women who are thin when they are younger often gain so much weight when they're older--all too often, as young women they were not eating enough. When they started eating normally their bodies filled out more than the women who had always eaten healthfully. So make sure to consume the right amount of calories—you can find calorie counters online to tailor this number to your body type and energy level.

Additionally, it's very important to consume healthy, "clean" foods for the vast majority of those calories. A snickers bar may have the exact amount of calories as a whole plate of sautéed vegetables, but the snickers bar is a different kind of energy. Not only will a sugar spike actually cause your energy to drop, it will make you feel hungrier more quickly. That plate of vegetables is filling, and has lots of fiber and vitamins to make your body strong and healthy. Healthy people have much an easier time going through chemotherapy and other intensive treatments, too, so do your body a big favor and eat as healthfully as you can. Many believe to mention just how helpful a healthy diet can be while you are combating mesothelioma.

It can take time to adjust to eating healthier foods, but within several weeks your palate will adjust, and the sweetness of a fruit will be something you begin to crave. Consider rewarding yourself in other ways besides food, like taking a nice long bath, going window-shopping, or for a walk in the park.

Mesothelioma life expectancy is increased when you take care of your body and also quality of life. Life is too short to feel tired and uncomfortable all the time. If you take steps now to eat healthier and lose weight, you'll begin to feel the difference very quickly, and you'll be glad you did. Why not start now?

To read more posts by Jackie, check out her blog at Jackie’s Arc!

Happy Birthday, Kid!

Happy Birthday to my wonderful daughter! I am so very blessed to have her in my life. She is smart, funny, kind, patient, and she can stand up for herself or loved ones like nobody's business. She is optimistic. When she found out that she probably couldn't have kids, she didn't let it get her down. She became a foster parent. She was so very sure she was going to get a baby. I of course was cautious and worried. She on the other hand wanted a baby shower and started buying baby stuff. About a month later she got the call about Carson. A baby boy. Then she got the call about a 3 year old adorable boy. That's how we got Javi. Then Javi's mom got pregnant. CPS called and wanted to know if she would take the baby girl. Of course! That's how we got Alivia. Then 4 months later while I was in Vegas for a wedding she got a call from CPS that Carson's mom had gotten pregnant, and would she consider taking that baby girl. She talked it over with her hubs. Alivia was a fussy baby. So I worried about her. I live to far away to help out much. I was really worried about her and if she could handle it. She rose to the occasion and then some. She is a wonderful mother. She has a mother's love for all those children. About a year ago I got a call. Cassie was pregnant! It was truly a miracle. She deserved to have that experience. She treasured every moment of it. She is an inspiring woman. I love her very much, and respect her just as much too.

Weekend was nice. I had Tatum for a sleep over. Swimming and Smurfs. Smurfs was BAD. We both fell asleep. After the movie though, Tatum said good movie GeGe. So mission accomplished. I always try to stuff 5 lbs of fun in a 2 lb bag when I get the kids over night. They go back to their mom exhausted! That's my gift to Mom.

Food was good. I ate well and no binging. I taught in Sunday School yesterday. Then went and saw Mrs H. She called and sounded so lonely. Then came back had dinner and went to bed early. Walked already this morning. I forget just how hot it is. I miss the gym. Just not in the cards right now though, so I will deal.

Planing on a wonderful week. Doing some packing and cleaning. Move out is right around the corner. I can't wait. I weigh yesterday and was still 198.2. I smiled. Hope everyone else's week is wonderful as well. Life sounds kind of boring typing it all down. I kind of like boring.

Keep the mood and the food real..............

Not going to let it get me down!

Well I was positive, but I lost my new weekend job before I ever started. They decided to stick with the woman that works with her now. She speaks Spanish and the woman knows her. I understand. It is hard on Alzheimer patients to have change. I was sad, but I wasn't really excited to travel 80 miles ( at least ) round trip. I was going to have to stay the night Friday with my daughter. Which meant sleeping on an uncomfortable bunk bed. Something else will happen for me. I took that darn resume class, yet I resist writing one. I just am not confident in my skills. Get over it Dana! I need someone to help me. It's always easier with a friend to help you talk yourself up! I know I can easily pass a test now. I just keep hearing about people so much more qualified then me getting passed over for jobs. They scan your resume and if you don't have it just right the computer turns you down. Fight that fear with some faith! Maybe I should have a professional help me. Decisions, decisions! Anyone out there want to help me via the internet??

Didn't eat over it. Put the word out that I need some Friday/Saturday hours. In fact, I cleaned. The fridge and stove. Did some packing as well. Did some laundry and then took some food to the church. We were doing a service project at a Man's Homeless Center.

Rethinking the gym now. I have been thinking I might drop my renter's insurance. That is the exact amount of the gym a month. I have 2 days left. Too sad. I really put in a good workout this yesterday morning! I love going every morning.

I still feel that loosing that job was kind of a blessing in disguise. Oh and by the way. I saw that old fart that fried me in Sept. I walked right up to him and gave him a big hug. He seemed happy to see me. It felt good to be able to do that without feeling resentful. I really did love those old nut jobs. Big Sigh of RELIEF! Forgiveness is for me, not for him. I felt like that was a Tender Mercy from a Loving Heavenly Father.

Have the best day ever!

Keep the mood and the food real

Happy Weigh In

I weighed this morning and was happy to see 198.4! That is the lowest I have been since April. For all of one week. I haven't been focusing too much on food. Just eating right. I guess the nuts weren't the worse thing ever. I have walked EVERY SINGLE DAY. I am going to do one more month at the gym. I am just starting to enjoy the weights. I am going without some other "luxuries" to pay for the gym. I will be glad when summer is over and I can go back to walking outside and riding my bike. I am going to try and keep the loss and not gain it back. That's been my M.O. for the past year.

My worrying was much better yesterday. I wish I had insurance. I think I would see about getting some hormones. But I don't, so I will have to deal. Prayer and meditation will have to do for now.

I just read on FB that my Gdaughter had her arm jerked out of place. I guess she was standing on the headboard and her sister pushed her off. They call it nursemaid's elbow. She had it before. Poor little thing. It must have happened well after I went to bed, so my daughter didn't call me. It was her 1st day all alone at home with her baby brother . Everyone else went to school. I was thinking I would go out and help my daughter get the kid's ready for school, but it's a 60 miles round trip and I just can't afford the gas, plus I have to work later this morning. I wish we lived closer. There was a cute pic of her on FB that I tried to download but can't find it. She was all smiles watching a movie on the ipad. You'll have to use your imagination. The two sister's are in the pic, the smaller one is the "nursemaid".

Here's to a worry free day!

Keep the mood and the food real................

Side note....I dreamed Tina Fey and I wrote the screenplay for the next Oscar winning movie. It was some kind of animated thing. Better start dress shopping :)

Don't worry. Be happy

It's my Mother's birthday today. I love and miss her a lot. I am sure she would be so proud of all of her posterity. I wish I hadn't taken her for granted while she was still her. Cause I really did. I was wondered if she loved me while she was here, my I know for certain that she did and still does.

I have been freaking out and very fearful over some money stuff that has consumed me over the weekend. I woke up this morning to find that my worries were not based in reality. It seems that I always need to be worrying about something or I don't feel right. There is something very wrong with that. VERY WRONG. I think that this is my dis-eases way of trying to trick me into smoking again. At least I never considered that an option. Still doing very well in that area.

My goal this week is to focus on believing in myself and believing in my faith. To try to be more hopeful and less fearful. I have some really good things coming my way. I am going to put forth positive energy. I am going to believe that no matter what happens He knows me and He loves me. He has a plan for me. I don't have to see the plan to know that it exists.

Food has been fair. I ate lots of nuts. Maybe that's what made me nuts :) I have a fridge full of good things to eat. I bought some of the best cherries of my life. Along with some delicious cantaloupe. Saturday was boring. I was afraid to spend a dime and that went for gas as well. Sunday I thought I was suppose to teach. Was prepared and then remembered, it's the 2nd Sunday that I teach. Again, too many nuts?? Then out to my daughter's for dinner. The kids start school today. Can't wait for her to send me pictures! Other really god news to follow, as soon has I am "allowed" to share it!

So the mantra this week....Don't Worry. Be Happy!

Keep the mood and the food real..............

At'ta Girl!

I did it! I got my new place and dropped off a very short, but sweet 30 day notice. I kept thinking they would call me and ask a bunch of "why's". Cause that's how they are. But I got nothing! Actually, I think that their daughter is having a very serious surgery today. So I am probably the last thing on their mind. I am keeping the daughter in my prayers today. She is really one very sick young woman. And she just got married.

On another happy note. (not that the daughter being sick is happy) I got another job yesterday as well. At least they told me I start next Friday. It's just a Friday/Saturday job but, it's longer hours and the wage is good. So now I have a job everyday of the week. I made a point to keep my Sundays off. Even the Saturday job doesn't start very early, so I will be able to go to my Gson's football games. This will make my daughter happy. As it does me! The games are out by where the job is.

I stressed myself out over nothing. Shelly was ABSOLUTELY right. So much bigger in my mind then the reality of it. Just the waiting to see for sure about my place, which made me have to wait to pay the rent and turn in the notice, gave me time to really blow it out of proportion.

Heat advisories again today. UGH! I am so ready for summer to be over. Will be doing weights this morning along with a little cardio. I found some new podcasts that I love. It makes the time go by faster. The gym TV only have news news news. With what's been going on in DC this past week, I refuse to watch. It drives me even more insane ( I know, it's a short drive ). Wish they had HGTV.

I am teaching this Sunday. I always loves to teach. I don't so much like the getting up in front of everyone, but I love the study that goes into the prep. I am really proud of myself. I am going to press forward to the next thing. Paying for school. I am really excited to be going to school. Gonna get my learn on.

This evening I am taking my niece driving for the last time. She goes back to Japan early tomorrow morning. I will miss her. I also went food shopping...finally! Cleaned out the fridge too. It's a fresh food start! Thanks for all the pep talks from everyone!

Keep the mood and the food real...........

Stop it already

Note to self....stop worrying and quit being a people pleaser. Just grid up your loins and do what's best for you. Can't believe I am stressing out over writing out a 30 day notice. Stop waiting for the other shoe to fall and BELIEVE that you deserve good things.

Food is better. Walked 2.5 miles. Off to work. Gonna be brave. I can do hard things!

Get to Make the Changes to Make My Dreams Come True!

Good Monday Morning! I had a bump in the eating road Saturday and it kind of slid into Sunday as well. I did go to my personal training on Saturday. I asked him to take it easy on me, and he did. No soreness at all. I wasn't expecting that. I have one more to go so I think I will ask him to kick it up a notch. Walked Saturday as well. Did nothing yesterday. Trying to talk myself into going today. I play this little game with myself. I only HAVE to walk 30 mins and I can go as slow as I want. Sometimes I am such a child

I am going to give all my paper work to the property manager this morning. I have worked myself up into a frenzy over this. I know I said the couple had told me that they wanted me to have the new place. But they aren't stupid. I have to show I can afford it. The 2 questions on the app that threw me where of course 1. have you ever been arrested and 2. have you ever been evicted. I have to say yes to both. But I have paper work to show that I have taken care of both things. They eviction was almost 20 years ago. Anyway, the worse part was I "got to" rehash all my past to people. I told both the property manager and the couple and both were ok with everything. So now I just wait and see if my income is enough for them.

It's ok. My past has made me who and what I am today. I wish I would remember and APPRECIATE that fact when I have to re-hash it. I really psyched myself up by Friday. That's the day I told them. I felt so relieved that it was over. For some reason that relieved turn into permission to eat some crap, then before I knew it I was in full binge mode. UGH! Thank goodness I had church, or I would have laid in bed all day yesterday. That's basically what I did Saturday. stupid stupid stupid. over over over. A New Day!

I am sure that my craziness over the weekend can be blamed on Aunt Flo. WTF! Just when I think I am over that part of my life, she shows up again. Probably haven't had one in over 6 months. Anyway, that's my story and I am sticking to it.

I had another family call me about working for them on the weekends. I want to keep my Sunday's off, so we'll see. I meet them on Tuesday. Lots of good things happening. I got the guts and even followed through and I am signed up for classes. Just waiting for financial aide. If I don't get any I will just pay for the computer class myself and hold off on the English class. I was impressed with my English placement score :)

I get to change my energy and be positive and get out there and make all my dreams come true! How about you??

Keep the mood and the food real...............

stop eating

Dana....STOP EATING! Throw the rest of this binge in the trash. Do it now.

Message received now follow through. Hell I will eat in good times and bad. Deal with your feelings don't eat them.

Life Can Change in an Instant!

Life can change in an instant! I always believed in"The Secret". You know, radiating positive energy begets positive things. I really have tried to remain hopeful despite everything going on around me. When I wrote yesterday that it was going to be the best week ever, I really meant it.

Well, the cute little old couple LOVED ME. It's more hours and they even offered me more money then I asked for. They are sweet, clean, and petless!! When I asked for Sunday's off she straight away told me that is the Lord's day. When I gave her my list of references she said she could tell I was a Christian. That I radiated it. WOW! Yes, Mormons ARE Christians....the official name is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. No more explanation needed. So I left there walking on air.

Then my walking buddy called and said that a young couple in our ward had posted on FB that they were moving and needed to rent their townhouse. Called right away! I wasn't sure who they were by name, but when I saw them I recognized them. I visit with her and her kids every time I am at the pool. Anyway, the place is much bigger, nicer, faces south, and is the same rent as I pay here. I was up front and told them about my situation. They told me they wanted me at have the place!! Best part, the electric bill was $40 less then my last month's bill. The most excellent part, no more EX boss as landlord!! Prayers answered. All in one day. I told them I was giving my 30 day notice. I don't want to, but it's the right thing to do. They said do it!! The place is mine.

Then right in the middle of all that, a friend called and told me to expect a call from her tax guy. He is wanting to bring his mother and aunt into his home and they will need 24 hour care. More work, more money! Well let me tell you what. I dropped to knees with a heart FULL of gratitude. I know that prayer works. I know that I have had a lot of people sending me good thoughts and saying prayers on my behalf. Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!

Never give up hope. I really was at the end of my rope, but I always knew that the Lord had a plan for me. I have been doing my part. I know that I am far from perfect, but I don't have to be perfect to be blessed and loved.

Today is my resume class. Then I think I will get some boxes together and write my 30 notice and my last check to the Ex boss. Hitting the gym as soon as I post this. I might even get the gumshun to make it food shopping. It's time to get back to healthy eating. H20 will be a major priority as well. Time to do the next right thing for my body. I start my new job tomorrow. Can't wait!

Life is GOOD......keep the mood and the food real............

Live Your Best Life

Good Monday morning. I have lots on tap this week. A resume class. A meeting with an adviser for school. Walking. Food shopping. Yoga. Personal training session. This morning I am going to focus on prayer and meditation. Especially the meditation. I really need to learn to slow down and listen and think things through. I was reading Roxie's blog this morning and my mantra this week is going to be "don't believe everything you feel".

In church yesterday I read a story about an ancestor that loss her mother and father by the age of 6. She then was part of a handcart company that left to late in the season and got caught in an early winter. This little girl loss both her legs just below the knee and learned to walk on her stumps. She made her living by sewing with a treadle machine. Raised 8 children, loosing 2 of them to disease. I woke up with the "self pities" yesterday morning. Prayed for an attitude of gratitude. After I read that story I told the congregation "mission accomplished". I am going to continue to pray for graditude. I feel so much better when I feel grateful and see God's love for me.

Food wasn't great. I couldn't make myself go food shopping. Had the Gboys over Friday night. It was a perfect overnighter. We went to see Cars 2. Very cute. Lots of swimming. Went for ice cream with my niece and her cuz. Movie popcorn ect ect ect. Then Saturday night was my SIL's Bday. We went to Benihana's for dinner. I had never been before. Had the scallops. They cook the food at the table. LOTS of butter. Had a nice time with just they adults. Well and the little guy. He is 9 months. Growing up too fast. So smiley.

Talked with my sister yesterday. They had another earthquake in Japan. She said she didn't feel anything. I am always amazed when I am the one to tell her she was in an earthquake. I have really enjoyed her daughter this summer. She has been here all summer long.

It's a new week and a new chance to live my best life. I loved what Roxie said about the difference between and good day and a bad day is a day. So true. So here's to the best week ever! Still staying on track with my recovery. Truth be told, it has been easier then I thought it was going to be. Funny how fear of something being too hard can hold me captive. Ok, it's not funny, it's damn sad. I am holding on to that FACT. I can do hard things!

Keep the mood and the food real.............

Go see Buck!

Well what a week! The room mate is gone. It was her decision, but I am really glad it's over. I will hate loosing the money, but things will work out. Some things are worth more then money. Like my mental health. She still owes me some money, but I am cutting my losses and moving on.

One crappy thing. I got the record cleared, but in Arizona you can not get your record expunged. Which means that all my "past" is still on the internet for prospective employers to see. UGH! I thought that when I got everything set aside that it would be CLEARED off the court website. Not so I guess. I have put a call into a lawyer to see what I can do. Who knows?! It does say that all my right are returned, but it also says all my charges. Even the ones that were dismissed. Can I just say I hate Arizona. If my kids were not planted here I would get the hell out out of here. The heat, the politics, the policies. A very unforgiving state. Ok, done with that rant.

Have a job interview Monday. Fingers crossed everyone! Food has been, well, not the best. Not the worse. One high point of my week was going to see the movie Buck. OMG! LOVED IT!! Google it and watch the trailer. I can't stop thinking about this cowboy. If it is your area don't miss it. Made me cheer and cry.

The weekend will consist of Gkids, swimming, friends and church. I think I might take the boys to see Cars 2. Anyone seen it?? Is it worth the matinee price? Hope everyone is staying cool in the unbearable heat. I am so glad I bought that Groupon for the gym. I might do one more month. In September it might start getting cooler in the early mornings again. HA HA! A girl can dream, right?

Keep the mood and food real............

A Clean Slate!

Well I got the letters in the mail over the weekend and all my charges have been set aside. I have all my rights returned. I can vote or even carry a gun if I wanted to. Not that I really want to. I can't thank my sister enough for hooking me up with that lawyer that helped me. It made me think, why didn't I do that a long time ago. Did I feel that I wasn't worth it? It didn't cost me a cent. That was the major draw back. That was my excuse. I didn't even really check into it. I have let my past define me for way to long. I am going to make it a priority to focus on my future. I am going to focus on feeling like I am worth every good thing that I deserve and I know that Heavenly Father wants me to have. I am going to try and not be my own worst enemy.

You know sometimes pride is a tricky thing. It doesn't always have to be thinking your the best of the best. It can also be thinking that you are the worst of the worst. Pride in reverse. I am not the the best or the worst. I have made it my "thing" to be the bad girl, at times. Now I have stripped myself of the one label that I have let hold me back for over 10 years. It's time to move on. I don't know what the future will bring. However I plan on doing my best to give myself all the opportunities I deserve. I am in a position now to start over. Doing nothing is really doing something. It has it's consequences. I don't want to live life by default anymore. I am going to explore my options and then press forward. I am setting a goal to be proactive.

I have a busy week this week. Today I am taking a new lady today to get her hair done then to the doctors. Then it's out to my daughter's house to sit while they take the boys to see Harry Potter. Tuesday it's Mrs. H and then Wednesday I have a house cleaning job that pays great and isn't that hard of work. Going to get a walk in at the gym right after I get my reading and meditation done. Going to really start to put a little more time into listening after my reading. For direction.

I am also going to try not to let my room mate's behavior effect me so much. I can't live her life, hell I can barely live my own. I need a room mate right now, and she really is just doing HER best. Just like I am just trying to do MY best. Live and let live. Funny how when I feel out of control, I focus on others and how I think they should live their live. Foolish Dana, just foolish.

Here's to me and my new CLEAN SLATE! Keep the mood and the food real..............

A Wonderful Day

What a wonderful day. My SIL did a great job with the baptism. Here I am with my Gson.


Here is my daughter's cute little family. So proud of them. We had a nice little party after. Lots of family and friends and food.
I must say I think I have the cutest Gkids ever. Of course I am sure some of you other GeGe's would say it was yours :) Going to hit the gym here in a minute. Then I am heading out to my daughter's to help with the kids at church. Make it a great Sunday!

Advice Please

TGIF! I am happy to report that I am happier. Things haven't really changed, but the way I responding to things have changed. I am going back to Mrs H's today. I am not dreading it. I really am just happy to be making some cash. Yesterday I went and started the admissions process for school. I have an appointment with an adviser in a couple of weeks, but think that I will take a morning and sit for a couple of hours so I can be seen sooner. I am getting excited that I am following through on something! I am still waiting for the papers to come back from the court so I can start applying for a real job. I am still enjoying having a clean head, and I have not had an urge since I have returned. I still feel very motivated to maintain my recovery.

One thing that is bothering me is my thighs. They still ache like the dickens from the training session from last week. I put in a really good walk yesterday. 15 min miles. I did 3 miles. This morning I just felt so achey that I did a slow 30 mins, though I did do 1.5 miles. I didn't want to go at all. So I compromised. I am going to get my money's worth from that Groupon :) I want to do some more strength training but I don't want to be so sore that it hurts to sit down. Any suggestions from any of you. Should I take a day off? Or just plug along? Advice please.

Tomorrow is my Gson's baptism. Very excited for that. It will be an awesome day for my little family. I have a lot to be grateful for, I have decided to try to maintain an attitude of gratitude.

Keep the mood and the food real........

Weigh in Wed

This is going to be quick. I am up like .2 lbs. It's ok. It's just a moment in time. I am doing my best and I am ok with it. I went to see Larry Crowne. Skip it. I thought it was a snoozer. I took my niece out driving yesterday. First time she has ever driven on the street. I like being the cool auntie. I took here out on a very quiet street after we practiced in a church parking lot. She did great and I am taking her out again after I post this.

I went to Mrs. H today. I am getting more hours in so I am happy with it for now. I have just been being a companion for her this week. Doing errands and lunch. It's been fun, really. I got another line on 2 more jobs so things seem to be looking up.

I am feeling less crabby today. I had a nice talk with the room mate. I think she will only be here a few more weeks. She wants to go back and be with her mother if she has to have kidney surgery. I think that's a great idea. I told her I didn't want to know everything that's going on with her and her friends. I get too caught up in it and it's just makes me nuts. She said she would comply. She was in a car accident yesterday morning on the freeway. I wasn't surprised. She really doesn't get enough sleep. She will be taking the train for a while I guess. She walked away from it ok, just shaken. The car wasn't even that damaged. She just needs a new side mirror. It was a wake up call for her, for sure!

This morning I was so sore from the training I did the day before. I didn't want to go to the gym this morning but I read Shelly's post and it motivated to go, so I did. I got in 40 minutes on the treadmill and felt really good I went. The fronts of my thighs were killing. Even sitting down hurt...lol I must be doing it right, right??

Tomorrow it's hitting the treadmill again then I am going with my daughter and the kids to the aquatic center tomorrow afternoon. Job hunting will continue in the morning as well. I will make a few calls. I am really looking into school. Trying to figure out what I want to do. Kind of makes me excited. Seriously, today is the best I've felt since I came home. I still have no desire to smoke. Hitting meeting everyday as well. Tonight will be a church meeting that I love.

Hope everyone is having a great day! Keep the mood and the food real............